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Original poster

New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 21:44

godmum56 · 20/02/2026 21:42

I'd find it cheeky fuckery and so CF its actually funny.....I mean "we have just moved in and we want YOU to make changes to YOUR drive for OUR convenience....but its okay because we'll do the work" I do wonder if the sellers wer easked about the narrow drive and they said something like "Oh the lady next door will take it down if you ask her"

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I think it’s ok to ask, but they need to accept no with grace.

godmum56 · 20/02/2026 21:46

Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 21:44

I think it’s ok to ask, but they need to accept no with grace.

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I think its ok to ask....and its ok for me to find it CF and hilarious

Aluna · 20/02/2026 21:48

Brightlittlecanary · 20/02/2026 21:42

I also would say no, as the only reason they want it down is to use your driveway,

be nice, just say understand but have considered and will be keeping th4 fence, however can give the name of the folks who widened your drive,

You can’t widen a drive unless what OP really means is that she widened the driveway part of her front garden eg by removing flowerbeds, walls etc in which case that’s an option open to the NDNs without inconveniencing OP.

ApplesAreAmazing · 20/02/2026 21:50

Just imagine them saying 'is it ok if we put our bins in your drive as they smell a bit?' It makes it easier to say no.
As previous people have said, they only get more space if they are either using your drive to manoeuvre or get out of their car onto your drive and then walk round.
Honestly just say no. Write a note just saying I've thought about it and the answer is no, I like my fence, here's my builder's number who widened my drive.
Honestly people are so cheeky. I'm guessing that they will say that it will cost too much and it was cheaper to take down your fence and use your drive. 🙄
Good luck.

SyntheticFluff · 20/02/2026 21:50

godmum56 · 20/02/2026 21:36

I'd be careful about this....genuine CF's might take silence for agreement!

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I really doubt it. Everything on here gets heightened to the nth degree though.

ITMA2000 · 20/02/2026 21:50

You must be VERY assertive or they will just do it. I've experienced this sort of thing myself.
.

NamingNoNames · 20/02/2026 21:52

I'd get a camera to cover the fence just in case.

hididdlyho · 20/02/2026 21:55

They sound cheeky to tell you it's ok if you want time to think about it, like they're doing you a favour!

LadyCrustybread · 20/02/2026 21:56

Just say ‘no, it’s only been up a year so doesn’t need to be removed’. They have no reason to want it down except to use your drive to move their cars.

CinnamonBuns67 · 20/02/2026 21:57

Keep it as it is, it is on your side of the boundary so doesn't create space that they are entitled to use. If they ask again just say you will be keeping it as it is but that you solved the space issue by having the drive widened and would they like the details of the person who did yours so they can have it done themselves.

NamingNoNames · 20/02/2026 21:59

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:33

I’ll just fret about it otherwise and worry that they might catch me off guard again. I said I’d let them know, so I doubt they’ll forget about it either. If I go over there myself, I can prepare myself and not let them sway me 😂 hopefully that’s it then and I can forget about it!

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Don't be a wet blanket. Just say No if they ask again.

Contrarymary30 · 20/02/2026 22:02

I would just explain the prob l ems with the last neighbours using your drive . Hence the fence and see what they say . I'd not take it down though .

MostlyFineActually · 20/02/2026 22:03

Out of interest, why didnt you place your fence exactly on the boundary?

WearyAuldWumman · 20/02/2026 22:04

Bluntly, if they needed a bigger drive, then they should have bought a different house.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 20/02/2026 22:05

Absolute madness. How much extra room would taking down a fence on your land increase their drive space without using yours?

Keep it short and brief, ‘just wanted to come back to you about the fence situation and I appreciate you coming to talk to me about it. I wanted to let you know that I am going to keep it as it is. I understand that you feel you need more space-I can give you the number of the company who widened my drive if that would help.’

UncannyFanny · 20/02/2026 22:06

What’s wrong with just telling them the reason you put the fence up, that tells them there have been issues with people walking over your property without accusing them of anything, then ask them why they can’t make space their own side.,

ThisCyanPoet · 20/02/2026 22:09

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:26

Thanks everyone! I’m ready to put on my big girl pants and will go over there tomorrow. I’ll just mention that I value my privacy and paid a lot to have the fence installed, so I’d prefer to keep it. I’d rather not bring up the previous neighbours because I feel they might try to convince me otherwise, saying “we’d never do that, etc” even though we all know that’s probably not the case! It’ll just get awkward then! I’ll try and keep it brief and to the point, like someone suggested. I’ll also propose widening their driveway to make it seem like I’m being helpful. It’s up to them how they take it, but that’s all I can do really. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Don’t say you’d prefer to keep it - You ARE keeping it. It’s on your side and will remain as it is.

Chatterlyssecret · 20/02/2026 22:13

It’s your boundary on your land, no way should you be pressured into removing it. What a cheek !!

EarthSight · 20/02/2026 22:17

Say no, that you put it up for a reason and that you don't plan to take it down now. That's it. Keep it light, breezy casual. However, I'm afraid you're going to have to be prepared that they won't like it, but if they don't, tough I'm afraid. They moved in knowing the fence is there.

Don't say what those reasons were. If they ask, that shows you what kind of people they might be because your 'no' should be enough in this scenario.

HawkinsLabsColdwarEra · 20/02/2026 22:19

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:26

Thanks everyone! I’m ready to put on my big girl pants and will go over there tomorrow. I’ll just mention that I value my privacy and paid a lot to have the fence installed, so I’d prefer to keep it. I’d rather not bring up the previous neighbours because I feel they might try to convince me otherwise, saying “we’d never do that, etc” even though we all know that’s probably not the case! It’ll just get awkward then! I’ll try and keep it brief and to the point, like someone suggested. I’ll also propose widening their driveway to make it seem like I’m being helpful. It’s up to them how they take it, but that’s all I can do really. I’ll let you know how it goes.

if there minted what about eg £1000 ?

francy99 · 20/02/2026 22:20

I would keep the fence up. I suspect they will start using your drive to walk on to get to the cars on their bit of drive. We had issues with our previous neighbour. There was no fence between our driveways and when his sons came to stay with him on a weekend they would play football on the driveways, ball would bang on our doors and windows and garage door. Drove me bloody crazy. Asked him nicely to not let his kids play on our side but didn’t listen so got a fence put up.

FrozenFebruary · 20/02/2026 22:22

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:44

They said it was due to lack of space, but as pp have pointed out, taking it down won't make a difference unless they plan to use my side as well.

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Exactly this!

they're basically asking to be given access to your garden/driveway.

say no, say you only put it up last year & you're really happy with so you will not be removing it.

keep in your mind that THEY are the ones being unreasonable

SeenYourArse · 20/02/2026 22:23

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

This is hilarious that you are even considering this when they have literally TOLD you they want to do this so they can start using your driveway as well! You would be INSANE

FrozenFebruary · 20/02/2026 22:23

SeenYourArse · 20/02/2026 22:23

This is hilarious that you are even considering this when they have literally TOLD you they want to do this so they can start using your driveway as well! You would be INSANE

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Exactly!!

EdithBond · 20/02/2026 22:24

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:40

I understand where you're coming from, and I completely agree that I shouldn't have to justify my reasons for wanting the fence. But, since I have to live next to these people for the foreseeable, I'm not sure how they'll respond or if they'll make things difficult for me, so I'd rather keep things friendly if I can. I feel like just going over and saying, "nope, I'm keeping it" would upset them, so I thought maybe some helpful suggestions could soften the blow a bit, if you see what I mean? They could still get nasty of course, but I think it’s worth a shot.

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Hi OP, I don’t think you should agree to removing the fence if you have a right to out one up on your side. As you and PP have said, the only way it inconveniences your neighbours is if they intend to encroach on your driveway.

You don’t have to be helpful or blunt. Simply be assertive and very polite. Something like: “Hi, how are you? [bit of small talk]. Sorry, I should’ve said this straight away when you asked me. I don’t want to take the fence down. It’s on my side and gives me privacy. Hopefully, it’s not a problem for you. It’s lovely to have you living next door.”

If they push further: “You wouldn’t have any more space if the fence was taken down. Unless you came onto my drive, which I wouldn’t want you to do. I hope you understand.”

Good luck 💐