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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 20/02/2026 22:25

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:26

Thanks everyone! I’m ready to put on my big girl pants and will go over there tomorrow. I’ll just mention that I value my privacy and paid a lot to have the fence installed, so I’d prefer to keep it. I’d rather not bring up the previous neighbours because I feel they might try to convince me otherwise, saying “we’d never do that, etc” even though we all know that’s probably not the case! It’ll just get awkward then! I’ll try and keep it brief and to the point, like someone suggested. I’ll also propose widening their driveway to make it seem like I’m being helpful. It’s up to them how they take it, but that’s all I can do really. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Good plan, OP, especially about not mentioning the previous problems because it certainly would bring "Oooooo NO, we wouldn't do that!!"

everypageisempty · 20/02/2026 22:27

tealandteal · 20/02/2026 18:24

They won’t have any more space if the fence comes down, unless they start using your space. I would say no. Good fences make good neighbours.

First post nails it.

The size of the drive isn't going to change. Like your previous neighbours, they plan to use your driveway space as well. Rather than just enlarge their own if that's what they need.

Keep the fence.

FrozenFebruary · 20/02/2026 22:28

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:26

Thanks everyone! I’m ready to put on my big girl pants and will go over there tomorrow. I’ll just mention that I value my privacy and paid a lot to have the fence installed, so I’d prefer to keep it. I’d rather not bring up the previous neighbours because I feel they might try to convince me otherwise, saying “we’d never do that, etc” even though we all know that’s probably not the case! It’ll just get awkward then! I’ll try and keep it brief and to the point, like someone suggested. I’ll also propose widening their driveway to make it seem like I’m being helpful. It’s up to them how they take it, but that’s all I can do really. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Personally I wouldn't say anything about privacy, if you're hoping to be friendly with them, it sounds a bit Justine.

just say you like the fence & won't be removing it.

SnowyRock · 20/02/2026 22:29

It wont give them more space unless they use your space.
Give them the number of the company who widened your drive

LilyBunch25 · 20/02/2026 22:30

Nooo

Sugargliderwombat · 20/02/2026 22:49

NamingNoNames · 20/02/2026 21:13

Oh dear.

I know, I know 🤣.

Sunbeam01 · 20/02/2026 22:52

tealandteal · 20/02/2026 18:24

They won’t have any more space if the fence comes down, unless they start using your space. I would say no. Good fences make good neighbours.

I fully agree with this.

They saw the fence before purchasing their property.

Blackberrys1 · 20/02/2026 22:53

OP, i would be very very wary of them going forward.
Normal people do not ask you to change stuff on your property to suit them the minute they have moved in.
Cheeky fxxkers do.
Don't become friendly as they sound the type to try and take advantage.
Best to remain polite and distant IMO.

Shoemadlady · 20/02/2026 22:54

Just say it cost to have it put up and that was only recently so thanks but no thanks x

AJLOAL · 20/02/2026 22:55

No and no! You'll end up in the same predicament as before.

Flukingflukes · 20/02/2026 22:58

Don’t even consider it. The only way it would help the neighbours, would be to encroach on your side. That’s exactly why the fence is there.

VWT7 · 20/02/2026 23:03

OP, if you say “I’d prefer to keep my fence” - you make it sound negotiable to them.

I would choose more definitive words if you can - to show that you have ownership and clear decision making…

Something like “I’m keeping my fence”
”we had to have our drive widened, it’s worked brilliantly, and very pleased with the contractors, here’s there details if it’s any help?” - said with a smile.

PrettyPickle · 20/02/2026 23:06

Just be honest and tell them how it came about. Then explain that although they may prove trustworthy and have kindly offered to pay for the fence taking down which is really appreciated, if they move out and someone else comes along who has the same habits as your original neighbours, then you are left with the expense of putting a fence up again. So unfortunately you have to decline.

They won't be happy but they sound like reasonable people so should appreciate your predicament.

godmum56 · 20/02/2026 23:09

PrettyPickle · 20/02/2026 23:06

Just be honest and tell them how it came about. Then explain that although they may prove trustworthy and have kindly offered to pay for the fence taking down which is really appreciated, if they move out and someone else comes along who has the same habits as your original neighbours, then you are left with the expense of putting a fence up again. So unfortunately you have to decline.

They won't be happy but they sound like reasonable people so should appreciate your predicament.

Edited

they move in and immediately want the neighbours fence removed to give THEM more space (how?) and they sound reasonable?????

NamingNoNames · 20/02/2026 23:14

PrettyPickle · 20/02/2026 23:06

Just be honest and tell them how it came about. Then explain that although they may prove trustworthy and have kindly offered to pay for the fence taking down which is really appreciated, if they move out and someone else comes along who has the same habits as your original neighbours, then you are left with the expense of putting a fence up again. So unfortunately you have to decline.

They won't be happy but they sound like reasonable people so should appreciate your predicament.

Edited

I can't believe I am reading this.

Just be honest and say No.

Why tell them how it came about?
Then explain that although they may prove trustworthy and have kindly offered to pay for the fence taking down which is really appreciated,
Why should OPbe appreciative of somene offering to remove her fence from her property?

So unfortunately you have to decline.
Unfortunately???!

Bloody hell! Are you insane.

catownerofthenorth · 20/02/2026 23:17

No is a complete sentence

Mere1 · 20/02/2026 23:19

tealandteal · 20/02/2026 18:24

They won’t have any more space if the fence comes down, unless they start using your space. I would say no. Good fences make good neighbours.

The last sentence is one I cite often.

wanderingstarz · 20/02/2026 23:26

catownerofthenorth · 20/02/2026 23:17

No is a complete sentence

It's not.

NoFiller · 20/02/2026 23:45

Aluna · 20/02/2026 21:40

No OP don’t get involved in long MN explanations.

The only thing you need to say to them is that you’ve thought about if and you won’t be taking down the fence. That’s it.

Don’t go round, either wait for them to bring it up or put a note through their door.

Absolutely.

Some of the posts here are hilarious, and show how wet blankets so many are when they feel they need to apologise or say they “would prefer” not to have their own property destroyed.

I particularly liked the poster who suggested (apparently in earnest?) that the OP should tell the neighbours that their “kind offer” to pay (to destroy her property) was “really appreciated”.

lastlonelygrape · 20/02/2026 23:47

It sounds like you've made up your mind not to consider taking the fence down, which is good. I definitely wouldn't be taking down a fence you just put up! The same type of problems you had with your last neighbours will almost inevitably follow, if not to the same degree. I also agree with PPs who said it's cheeky of them to have 'granted you permission' to think it over. Maybe just an awkward turn of phrase, but why would they think you'd want to take down the fence? It's not likely to benefit you at all, and you just spent good money putting it up. Do they not know it's a relatively new fence?

ClassicalQueen · 20/02/2026 23:51

Keep the fence, it will only make it bigger if they start using your space. If you sell your house in the future, I imagine buyers would want a private driveway compared to one a neighbor encroaches on.

Friendlygingercat · 20/02/2026 23:54

I dont frive or have a car but my drive (lockable) fits 2 cars and possibly 3. One of my neighbours was cheeky enough to ask if she could use it for one of her vehicles. I had no intention of getting involved with neighbours parking and the loss of privacy that having other vehicles on my land would entail.

I played my dumb act and told her I had never thought of hiring out my drive. I would do some research into commercial charges and let her have a price. I did however warn her it would "not be a cheap option" if I agreed and advised her to ask elsewhere. I could tell by the look on her face she had no intention of paying and was a bit shocked at the notion of doing so. I directed her to my NDN (who also does not have a car) and goes away a lot. I suggested she might be grateful to have a car on her drive to make it look occupied.

I have to admit I enjoy the effect when someone asks a cheeky favour and I offer to give them a price. The conversation always ends quickly.

SpringPollen · 20/02/2026 23:56

I'd say no we put it up and we like it.

Friendlygingercat · 21/02/2026 00:09

I would put a note through their door.

"We decided to keep our fence exactly as it is. If you need more room we suggest you pay a contractor to widen your garden just as we did. A gentle warning - when you are the new kids on the block it can come across as a bit pushy to ask established residents to alter their property to suit you. Not a good look."

PollyBell · 21/02/2026 00:10

I would ask if the fence is on my side why would they need extra room on their property?