New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

[ellogov]

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

If they wanted a wider drive they could have bought a wider house. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It really isn't. I've never understood why people are so offended just by enquiries.

If they'd decided they were taking it down themselves, or hounded OP after being told no then that's different. Simply asking "would you mind if....." and accepting the response is perfectly reasonable. Goes for the cutting down of trees too. Not cheeky to ask once, politely, and accept the answer.

Just say no thank you. I paid for it and wanted it and that why it is there. The cheek!

Tell them why you had the fence installed and that you'd rather keep it. I like the phrase 'good fences make good neighbours'. If they push back, ask them how your fence, on your land, coming down would improve their lives.

The only thing that will make their drive appear bigger is a smaller car! Leave your fence as it is.

I can't see why you wouldn't just be direct.

"You seem really nice but when it was like that before, the previous neighbours did xyz which was annoying. We went to the cost and effort of putting up the fence to remedy it and we're used to it now so we won't be taking it down. It's such a shame the previous owners weren't upfront about it being a recent installation and why because I can totally see from your pov that you may have bought the house hoping for a change. They really should have said something."

Amazed that you even need to think about this, OP.

They are pretty much guaranteed to start doing exactly what the last lot did. The fact that they’ve asked this as a priority so soon after moving in tells you everything you need to know.

Keeo the fence and you will keep your sanity and privacy,

”That doesn’t work for me” on repeat.

Cfers ! Tell them why you put it up and then when they say 'oh we won't do that' then say well you don't need my fence to come down then. Also suggest they pay to widen their drive as you have. God the nerve of some people, they obviously want to treat yours and theirs as a shared drive.
Frankly l'd have laughed at their suggestion.

Hell no

That's a really good way of telling them and passing the buck slightly too.

Don't do it!

I'm a coward so would write a note saying something like 'I'm a bit odd but I really like my privacy which is why I got the fence put up on my side - I'd prefer to keep it really sorry x'

Ooh do update us with their response once you've told them no! Hopefully they widen their drive on their side to get extra space.. and leave you and your drive alone!!!

Keep it simple: ‘No, I like the fence. It’s entirely on my property so it shouldn’t make a difference for space. I had the same issue though and I widened my drive - do you want the details of the guy who did it?’

Put yourself in the mindset of someone who moves into a house, lives in it a few weeks, notices that something isn’t as convenient or easy as they’d like, and decides that the solution to their problem of for their neighbour to adjust their property. (It’s rubbish about paying for it, they’ll just get their cousin to knock it down and fill in the holes with a bag of gravel from b&q).

They either haven’t stopped to consider why you have installed a fence, or have considered (and therefore know it was because their sellers were using your drive) and decided that they’d ask you to reconsider being taken for a ride.

You’ve paid to widen your drive which they can see and will also have considered. But no, they want to see if they can piggyback off your adjustments to your property made at your private expense so they don’t have to pay a penny.

Keep this in mind next time they stop to chat. Are they being nice, or are they buttering you up? Don’t be surprised if they suddenly become less nice when you say no.

I am stunned by the monumental cheek of moving in and immediately asking your neighbour if you can take their fence down, and presenting it as being generous by paying for the removal !!

Oh dear.

They bought the house knowing it was there. Keep it in place.

How are they even asking that question without obviously insinuating that they are planning on using your space/land?!

I don’t understand how their need for ‘more space’ would make them jump to the conclusion of using your driveway?

You say their driveway is narrow and yours fits 3 cars - is it on an awkward angle?

can you draw a diagram?

I take your point.

But in this instance the only benefit for them will be the ability to use part of OP's drive for access to their own, or for manoeuvring.

Which is exactly why OP installed the fence in the first place!

Yep - this is what I would say too OP

Is this real? Are you serious? What do you think “We don’t have much room.’ Actually means? Of course it means they’ll step over into your side at the very least lol. I’m not trying to be rude but it’s a really cheeky thing to ask of you and I’m struggling to believe anyone would be that cheeky to your face.

Why they were asking still doesn't make the asking itself unreasonable. OP might not have been someone who was bothered about sharing the drive. I wouldn't be. Nothing wrong with being bothered about it and wanting to keep the fence either. Nobody is being unreasonable in the whole scenario.

Except for the people on here claiming a reasonable question is incredibly rude.

A polite no is all that's needed... its aboundary keep it there .

Thanks everyone! I’m ready to put on my big girl pants and will go over there tomorrow. I’ll just mention that I value my privacy and paid a lot to have the fence installed, so I’d prefer to keep it. I’d rather not bring up the previous neighbours because I feel they might try to convince me otherwise, saying “we’d never do that, etc” even though we all know that’s probably not the case! It’ll just get awkward then! I’ll try and keep it brief and to the point, like someone suggested. I’ll also propose widening their driveway to make it seem like I’m being helpful. It’s up to them how they take it, but that’s all I can do really. I’ll let you know how it goes.