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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
Newusername0 · 20/02/2026 20:24

wanderingstarz · 20/02/2026 20:20

I did comment on the original OP.

Yes I've just noticed the OP responding to you. Clearly not just me that finds you irritating.

hyggetyggedotorg · 20/02/2026 20:25

Definitely point out that the fence is entirely on your land so taking it down wouldn’t give them any more space. Make it bright & breezy, but firmly a no.

crazeekat · 20/02/2026 20:26

Totally no.
same will
Start happening. They are nice now. Wait till they are not. Fence stays and they can widen their side if they want. Explain the reason so there’s no more talk.

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

BlackCat14 · 20/02/2026 20:18

What was your immediate response when they asked?

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

OP posts:
wanderingstarz · 20/02/2026 20:27

Newusername0 · 20/02/2026 20:24

Yes I've just noticed the OP responding to you. Clearly not just me that finds you irritating.

🙄

PoppySaidYesIKnow · 20/02/2026 20:27

You’ll be back to square one. Just say you’ve thought about it and you’re keeping the fence. You don’t need to explain yourself.

BlackCat14 · 20/02/2026 20:29

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

I’m not surprised- I hate being put on the spot like that! I think that was a perfect response in the moment, I’d have probably panicked and said yes 🤣 I agree with others though, tell them after some thought you’d rather keep it!

echt · 20/02/2026 20:30

It won't be obvious to the neighbours that you have also paid to have your drive widened. While it's none of their business, if they're at all reasonable, they'll back off if you tell them this, as well as the about the reason for the fence.

The full story will shut them up. One hopes.

SyntheticFluff · 20/02/2026 20:35

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

Don't even bring it up again then. If they do, then that's when you say the way you gained more space was by widening your drive, the fence is on the boundary line so it doesn't make any difference. Offer them the number of the drive people and that's that.

SyntheticFluff · 20/02/2026 20:36

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

Don't even bring it up again then. If they do, then that's when you say the way you gained more space was by widening your drive, the fence is on the boundary line so doesn't make any difference. Offer them the number of the drive people and that's that.

poetryandwine · 20/02/2026 20:38

BangFlash · 20/02/2026 19:01

It seems an easy one.

Sympathise about the lack of room, say yours was the same til you widened it and do they want to details of the guys who did it? And no, you like the fence but thanks for offering.

This response and several simil

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 20/02/2026 20:39

I'd be inclined to tell them you why you had the fence put up. And be sure to say it's entirely on your land.

viques · 20/02/2026 20:39

God must love triers because sure as eggs is eggs the rest of us don’t. 😃

FordExplorer · 20/02/2026 20:39

By saying “Ok no problem” they will likely assume you were saying ok no problem to the fence removal! 🤦🏼‍♀️

viques · 20/02/2026 20:40

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

Well that was nice of them, offering you time to think over giving them access to your drive, what lovely people.

Riverflow6 · 20/02/2026 20:42

No don’t, or you’ll be taking a huge step backwards

PickledElectricity · 20/02/2026 20:42

A cheerful "oh no thank you, I like my little fence!" Would have sufficed at the time.

Absolutely do not let them take it down, you'll be back at square one.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 20/02/2026 20:43

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

Well you've had a think and have concluded that you'd like it to stay as is.

DoloresDelEriba · 20/02/2026 20:43

Nope. Sorry. Not sorry.

MargeryBargery · 20/02/2026 20:46

I cannot imagine moving to a new house and then having the AUDACITY to ask my neighbours to take down their fence because it would benefit me to use their drive.
This is next level Cheeky Fuckery.

poetryandwine · 20/02/2026 20:48

Posted accidentally above. The response by @BangFlash at 19.01 and several similar ones give you the best chance of maintaining a good relationship with your new neighbours without giving in.

Accusing them of something they haven’t done will irritate them, especially if they are kidding themselves. Moaning about the former neighbours will make you sound like an old grump. Don’t go there - just commiserate over the narrow drive, assure them that the fence is on your property, and sweetly offer to share your (hopefully) great workman if they want to implement your solution.

They won’t dare say the reason they want the fence down is so they can trespass.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 20/02/2026 20:50

No.

They knew the fence was there when they bought the house.

You had the fence put up for a reason !

NoFiller · 20/02/2026 20:50

Tell them you don’t have much living space and ask how they’d feel about having the front external wall to their house removed to open up the living room. Offer to pay for its removal.

Tell them it’s fine if they want to think it over.

Adelle79360 · 20/02/2026 20:50

Just tell them you’ve thought about it but the fence is really quite new and so it’s not something you want to take down. I
wouldn't offer up any further explanation than that.

Laura95167 · 20/02/2026 20:51

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

"Sorry neighbour, I cant understand how me removing my fence on my land would give you more space? Explain it to me. Explain it like im 5"

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