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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
Kelly1969 · 21/02/2026 21:45

I have a drive that is kinda shared with the neighbour, no fence.
They have made their whole front garden a drive so they can get 3 vehicles comfortably,4 at a push, while I can just about squeeze 2 cars on.
we both occasionally walk on the edge of each others drives and it’s not an issue but I totally get that OP would find it annoying if it happened all the time.
It did annoy the hell out of me when they had language students who would cut across my garden/drive tho!!

WearyAuldWumman · 21/02/2026 21:47

pouletvous · 21/02/2026 21:44

soooooooooo

petty!!!!

move to a big detached house in the country you small minded twerp

Perhaps give that advice to the new neighbours who want a pre-existing fence removed?

BananaPeels · 21/02/2026 21:48

pouletvous · 21/02/2026 21:44

soooooooooo

petty!!!!

move to a big detached house in the country you small minded twerp

yeah you are right, she should take her back fence down as well- in fact everyone should - one big communal garden! Imagine the fun and joy of that!

Mumtobabyhavoc · 21/02/2026 22:24

Billybea · 21/02/2026 21:41

This! ⬆️⬆️

And super cheeky to ask!

Lostinmiddleage · 21/02/2026 22:25

Say no and give them the details of who widened your drive!

Overthebow · 21/02/2026 22:27

pouletvous · 21/02/2026 21:44

soooooooooo

petty!!!!

move to a big detached house in the country you small minded twerp

Are you the neighbor?

GoodnightEvangeline · 21/02/2026 22:32

pouletvous · 21/02/2026 21:44

soooooooooo

petty!!!!

move to a big detached house in the country you small minded twerp

Haha love how you managed to show your post was a joke by using an insult from the 80s.

I mean, it was obvious it was, but good to make it extra clear, with the risk of people thinking you might genuinely behave that way! Chapeau! See what I did there? 😊

ProjectOne · 21/02/2026 22:38

Ask why and explain your concerns to them. This will help you to decide properly with the full information. They might be genuinely lovely and just think it would be more asthetically pleasing without the divide between you. Chinese proverb: The wise build bridges whilst the foolish build walls. If you still feel unhappy after, your will feel better telling them bluntly "no" as you have not mistook their intentions.

HomeTheatreSystem · 21/02/2026 22:49

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:26

Thanks everyone! I’m ready to put on my big girl pants and will go over there tomorrow. I’ll just mention that I value my privacy and paid a lot to have the fence installed, so I’d prefer to keep it. I’d rather not bring up the previous neighbours because I feel they might try to convince me otherwise, saying “we’d never do that, etc” even though we all know that’s probably not the case! It’ll just get awkward then! I’ll try and keep it brief and to the point, like someone suggested. I’ll also propose widening their driveway to make it seem like I’m being helpful. It’s up to them how they take it, but that’s all I can do really. I’ll let you know how it goes.

I think this is the best way to go. You are right to be cautious but obviously you want to keep on good terms with them and this is the best way to do it which given other neighbours have done the same says that it's the only viable option.
(I'm assuming your deeds don't show that you each have ROW over each other's drives to enable manoeuvring in and out?)

Takethatandparty30 · 21/02/2026 23:16

No. Definitely no. Set boundaries early on. I speak from experience 😂

Namerequired · 21/02/2026 23:18

Tell them you only paid to put it up last year, so you don’t want to take it down. As said it’s your space so how does it give them more space anyway?

Alittlewordinyourear · 21/02/2026 23:26

Just tell them the reason you put it up - old neighbours were impinging on your side constantly and you’d feel happier keeping as is, and in addition the fence is fairly new and was expensive

PeoplesNet · 21/02/2026 23:34

I suspect you already know what everyone else has said, and perhaps you're more concerned with 'how to say no'. I would explain why you put it up in the first place and that you're not wanting to share your driveway. Alternatively, you could tell them how much it cost you to widen your own driveway and ask if they'd be open to monthly compensation if you let them share your driveway. Draw up an airtight contract though to clarify it's monthly rent, not shared ownership. Nothing wrong with sharing with neighbours, as long as you feel comfortable and maybe compensation would help you with this.

NewYearNewIDontKnowWhat · 21/02/2026 23:43

Why are you finding solutions for them by suggesting parking on the road and drafting up a string of reasons why you dont want your fence taken down. Sorry but you are looking weak with that approach and they'll smell it. They may be c^tuckers in dusguise and if you give you wont get back. Don't go over. Wait for them to approach you, its they need it and if they want it let them do the leg work. They bought ithe house knowing what was there and 5 weeks after moving in are looking for their way. Tread carefully. When they approach you again keep it v simple and factual. As simple as ....oh yes...I thought about that and its simpler if it stays as is. Swiftly followed by changing the subject to...are you enjoying your new house, isnt it a lovely village. Good luck xx

echt · 21/02/2026 23:45

PeoplesNet · 21/02/2026 23:34

I suspect you already know what everyone else has said, and perhaps you're more concerned with 'how to say no'. I would explain why you put it up in the first place and that you're not wanting to share your driveway. Alternatively, you could tell them how much it cost you to widen your own driveway and ask if they'd be open to monthly compensation if you let them share your driveway. Draw up an airtight contract though to clarify it's monthly rent, not shared ownership. Nothing wrong with sharing with neighbours, as long as you feel comfortable and maybe compensation would help you with this.

And the minute they pay rent they really will be all over the shop with the OP's drive because they're paying for it. She will also have liability for damage done to them, their guests, etc.

Right now the OP is in an ideal situation. Why on earth would she fuck not up?

echt · 21/02/2026 23:45

"It up"! I really shouldn't type standing up.

NewYearNewIDontKnowWhat · 21/02/2026 23:50

PeoplesNet · 21/02/2026 23:34

I suspect you already know what everyone else has said, and perhaps you're more concerned with 'how to say no'. I would explain why you put it up in the first place and that you're not wanting to share your driveway. Alternatively, you could tell them how much it cost you to widen your own driveway and ask if they'd be open to monthly compensation if you let them share your driveway. Draw up an airtight contract though to clarify it's monthly rent, not shared ownership. Nothing wrong with sharing with neighbours, as long as you feel comfortable and maybe compensation would help you with this.

You probably mean well but this approach will create misery for years to come like so many other replies in this thread. Seriously read the room people. They only just moved in. They have space in their garden they can extend their drive into but their answer to the problem is to extend into their new neighbours drive. FFS they have potential to be nightmare neighbours.

Before anyone asks. Yes had to move because of neighbours like them.

PeoplesNet · 22/02/2026 00:06

NewYearNewIDontKnowWhat · 21/02/2026 23:50

You probably mean well but this approach will create misery for years to come like so many other replies in this thread. Seriously read the room people. They only just moved in. They have space in their garden they can extend their drive into but their answer to the problem is to extend into their new neighbours drive. FFS they have potential to be nightmare neighbours.

Before anyone asks. Yes had to move because of neighbours like them.

I'm not sure how/why you're judging these neighbours as a 'nightmare' with such limited info! All they did was ask if they could share the driveway (pretty safe to assume we're all correct about this!) - your own experiences shouldn't tarnish everyone with the same brush. The OP is free to either say no, or consider saying yes, but in a way that sets their mind at ease. They might not have considered asking for compensation. And to be fair, it was meant as another polite way to say 'no'. Because once the neighbours realise that it costs money to have a wider driveway (either by widening or compensating the OP), they may well just say 'oh, sorry we're not looking to pay' and then it was their choice to say no and not the OP's.

Anonanonay · 22/02/2026 00:11

NewYearNewIDontKnowWhat · 21/02/2026 23:50

You probably mean well but this approach will create misery for years to come like so many other replies in this thread. Seriously read the room people. They only just moved in. They have space in their garden they can extend their drive into but their answer to the problem is to extend into their new neighbours drive. FFS they have potential to be nightmare neighbours.

Before anyone asks. Yes had to move because of neighbours like them.

Yup. Major red flag.

Anonanonay · 22/02/2026 00:14

ProjectOne · 21/02/2026 22:38

Ask why and explain your concerns to them. This will help you to decide properly with the full information. They might be genuinely lovely and just think it would be more asthetically pleasing without the divide between you. Chinese proverb: The wise build bridges whilst the foolish build walls. If you still feel unhappy after, your will feel better telling them bluntly "no" as you have not mistook their intentions.

Ironic from the country that built the fuck-off huge wall to end all walls.

PeoplesNet · 22/02/2026 00:16

echt · 21/02/2026 23:45

And the minute they pay rent they really will be all over the shop with the OP's drive because they're paying for it. She will also have liability for damage done to them, their guests, etc.

Right now the OP is in an ideal situation. Why on earth would she fuck not up?

Yeah, the contract would need to state acceptable terms and be airtight. It's an option available to the OP that they may not have considered. Up to them if they want to suggest it(!) and if it's rolling monthly: it just stops if the neighbours abuse it, and back up the fence goes. I suspect the neighbour will politely decline.

GlosGirl82 · 22/02/2026 00:20

No! If the fence is on your land - the only reason they want you to take it down is to tresspass

insane - absolutely do not take it down

Growltiger22 · 22/02/2026 00:21

A firm but polite “no” is all you need here.

FattyMallow · 22/02/2026 00:30

Absolutely no.

Rednotdead · 22/02/2026 00:40

Nooo, keep your fencing