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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
CathyFitzs · 21/02/2026 18:29

Absolutely not!! They will not seem so nice when they’re perpetually using your drive for access- what a rude thing to ask- they can only want it taking down so they can use your land , do not weaken!!!!

Bambiwithlonglegs · 21/02/2026 18:37

Don’t remove it just say…
I’ve been thinking about what you mentioned regarding the fence. I'm going to keep it up, though. When I did the renovations last year, I put a lot of work into defining the property lines to avoid any confusion with the narrow driveways. It’s worked out really well for me to have that clear separation, so I’m going to leave it as is. I hope you understand!

Nanny0gg · 21/02/2026 18:37

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:17

@MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend @wanderingstarz

The area they were walking through is near my living room window, so I could be watching TV and they could see when they walked past. I didn’t fancy closing the curtains constantly just to have some privacy. Once in a blue I wouldn’t have minded, but not all the time, especially with visitors who I didn’t know. It just felt awkward. There are plenty of houses around me with fences and walls to mark their boundaries, so I don’t think it’s that unusual. It’s nice if you let your neighbours do this sort of thing, but I don’t think it’s crazy to want a little privacy.

Play dumb

Say 'But I don't see how it would help you'

And wait for the explanation...

NamingNoNames · 21/02/2026 18:38

It wasn't rude just a bit cheeky in a don't ask, don't get sort of way.
They probably expected to get a No answer.

sidebirds · 21/02/2026 18:39

JUST SAY NO! ✊

Splatula · 21/02/2026 18:39

Maybe mention that the fence is on your land so it won't be much use to them if it's down (i.e. act as if they don't know that) and then suggest they widen their drive too?

WilsonYA · 21/02/2026 18:39

tealandteal · 20/02/2026 18:24

They won’t have any more space if the fence comes down, unless they start using your space. I would say no. Good fences make good neighbours.

My neighbours and I took down our front dividing fence 47 years ago and not once has there been a problem. So what if someone does step on your driveway: they’re not going to wear it out or squash are they? If there are small children running around that presents a different scenario as they may stray onto flower beds. Although my two children soon appreciated where they could and couldn’t walk. Parental tuition soon sorts that out! Good luck……but please don’t fall out over a blooming fence as you’re still living next door to each other! Sit back, deep breath and look at it from an outside perspective.

WilsonYA · 21/02/2026 18:41

I meant to say, the rear garden fences remain.

NamingNoNames · 21/02/2026 18:45

WilsonYA · 21/02/2026 18:39

My neighbours and I took down our front dividing fence 47 years ago and not once has there been a problem. So what if someone does step on your driveway: they’re not going to wear it out or squash are they? If there are small children running around that presents a different scenario as they may stray onto flower beds. Although my two children soon appreciated where they could and couldn’t walk. Parental tuition soon sorts that out! Good luck……but please don’t fall out over a blooming fence as you’re still living next door to each other! Sit back, deep breath and look at it from an outside perspective.

OP does not want her fence removed so your pious-sounding post doesn't help.

Sometimessmiling · 21/02/2026 18:54

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

I had to do similar and I would never remove it now. Keep it up

Seelybe · 21/02/2026 18:56

@ellogov sorry!

everypageisempty · 21/02/2026 18:59

I just want to know if OP has talked to the neighbour and said they're keeping their fence.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 21/02/2026 18:59

Cherrysoup · 20/02/2026 19:45

Bang on. No false hope, just a solution that they can take rather than removing your fence so they can use the drive like the former neighbours. Outrageous!

I'd may add... Taking down the fence wouldn't give you any more room,as the fence is on our land anyway

Noodles1234 · 21/02/2026 19:00

Don’t do it.

keep the fences up, you will have the same issue again, encourage them to use the money to widen their driveway instead.

good fences keep good neighbours.

parking is the main conflict between neighbours it’s not worth it.

BananaPeels · 21/02/2026 19:00

WilsonYA · 21/02/2026 18:39

My neighbours and I took down our front dividing fence 47 years ago and not once has there been a problem. So what if someone does step on your driveway: they’re not going to wear it out or squash are they? If there are small children running around that presents a different scenario as they may stray onto flower beds. Although my two children soon appreciated where they could and couldn’t walk. Parental tuition soon sorts that out! Good luck……but please don’t fall out over a blooming fence as you’re still living next door to each other! Sit back, deep breath and look at it from an outside perspective.

That’s really nice that you have been neighbours so long and not had any issues. My next door neighbours are absolutely lovely and if we didn’t have a property divider there would be no bother.

but… we do have a small waist height wall between our properties and when we had that put in about 5 years ago (to replace a horrible hedge that was there) at no point was it discussed there should be no wall at all. Most people, even if they are great neighbours, usually like to have some boundaries between properties. It just keeps things nice and simple and stops any issues arising. Doesn’t have to be a 6 ft fence though if that is your preference. The Op isn’t weird for wanting a property boundary like 99% of household in the Uk have

Scottishskifun · 21/02/2026 19:01

The more you harden yourself to shutting it down quickly the better OP.

We are on our 3rd set of next door neighbours who has asked us to move the access path to our house....I've definitely got better at shutting it down quickly. The 2nd set asked us every year!

I'm now direct but to the point - no there is no benefit to us and would come at considerable cost and you bought the house knowing our access went directly past your house.

Marieb19 · 21/02/2026 19:06

Good fences make good neighbours. Just say you like it and suggest they widen their drive as you did.

monkey36 · 21/02/2026 19:07

Is it a shared drive? Some houses share one drive to access garages on their respective properties and often agree to split it evenly to avoid the encroachment you’ve endured. That said - stick with your fence !!

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 21/02/2026 19:17

Often drives on houses, particularly new ones, are too narrow but the intention is that it is used as a shared space. It may be technically your land but denying your neighbours space to walk round their car to get in and out is a little mean.
Presumably though, they knew what the situation was when they bought the house and, as changing the arrangement now would upset you, it’s best to leave things as they are.

ForPinkCrab · 21/02/2026 19:18

Tell them the truth, why you put it up in the first place and how much it cost you.

Ladymeade · 21/02/2026 19:21

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

@ellogov Absolutely don't agree to this. As you've said, they can widen their side (as you have done) Suspect they will end up taking the piss as the previous encumbents did!

ThisRedLion · 21/02/2026 19:21

Leave the fence its not intruding on there property you've paid good money and had your drive widened so be polite dont make excuses and say not at all dont apologise because you've done nothing wrong if they want more space they should of thought of this before moving there

Beentheredonethat26 · 21/02/2026 19:34

BangFlash · 20/02/2026 19:01

It seems an easy one.

Sympathise about the lack of room, say yours was the same til you widened it and do they want to details of the guys who did it? And no, you like the fence but thanks for offering.

@ellogov exactly this. They'll take advantage of you if you remove the fence, so don't.

Unfortunately, lots of people mistake kindness for weakness and will just keep demanding/expecting you to for in with them and their needs..

We've been there, and done that and it took us far too long to realise that being nice isn't often reciprocated. We were just used as it only went 1 way...from us to them.

Evan456 · 21/02/2026 19:36

Surely they must’ve seen the narrow driveway when they viewed the house? I would just say yes I know it’s narrow which is why I had mine widened. I love the privacy of the fence not being able to see people up and down the driveway

Hmmmmwineandchocs · 21/02/2026 19:40

No! Leave the fence.