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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
Sooose · 21/02/2026 19:45

Why do they think it's an option to step into your driveway getting in and out of their cars, if the fence has been there all the time since they moved in? Are there other examples of flexible driveway space nearby with similar houses? It seems an unusual thing to do otherwise.

itsasmallworldafteralll · 21/02/2026 19:50

Sorry wrong thread

DeltaVariant · 21/02/2026 19:53

Keep the damned fence 100%

Slave123 · 21/02/2026 19:56

I wouldn't what if they do the same as the last person that moved out it's Ur fence u paid money to but it up . Don't let them bully you

jsecure · 21/02/2026 19:59

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

Say no, sorry. You mentioned you had your drive widened; presumably at the loss of some of your garden. A loss to you but your choice. So presumably they could do something similar. They see you have worked hard and collected a good resource; they now seek to exploit it for themselves using you as the chump and them as the ‘nice people’ who are entitled and get stuff for free. Your stuff. Tell them no. Be kind, but firm.

Beentheredonethat26 · 21/02/2026 19:59

@Flukingflukes love your username.... are you into koi/ other fish by any chance? 😂

AppUser · 21/02/2026 20:00

Their having less space on their side is not your fault. Why waste money removing a fence that cost you money to erect in the first place? You'll only go back to the original problem, better to decline their request.

Buffs · 21/02/2026 20:01

Absolutely not.

Beentheredonethat26 · 21/02/2026 20:02

Beentheredonethat26 · 21/02/2026 19:34

@ellogov exactly this. They'll take advantage of you if you remove the fence, so don't.

Unfortunately, lots of people mistake kindness for weakness and will just keep demanding/expecting you to for in with them and their needs..

We've been there, and done that and it took us far too long to realise that being nice isn't often reciprocated. We were just used as it only went 1 way...from us to them.

That should say fit in with them. 🙄 I must remember to proofread before posting 🤦🏻‍♀️

nomas · 21/02/2026 20:04

Glad you are saying no! I bet the old neighbours gossiped and told new neighbours that they should ask you to take it down.

Do you live alone? People often think (wrongly) women living alone can be worked on.

Also do these CFs understand that the cost of putting up a fence is much more than removing one? Will they pay to re-instate the fence if you decide you want one after all? No chance.

Beentheredonethat26 · 21/02/2026 20:11

@ellogov how did it go when you spoke to them today?

Flowerlovinglady · 21/02/2026 20:12

Presumably they would have more space if they opted to do what you have done with your garden/drive? I don't think you should take it down UNLESS you are prepared to go back to how things were with your previous neighbours. If you're OKay with that - you may like these neighbours more, then go ahead.

PoppyTries · 21/02/2026 20:13

Chasingsquirrels · 20/02/2026 18:25

Of course you say no.
If their side is too narrow and that is their reason for asking for it to be removed then they obviously want to impinge on your space.

Just say you are happy with the fence and have no intention of removing it.

This point can’t be made enough. Their request to remove the fence explicitly means that they intend to use your property. They’re not asking to have it removed because it’s dilapidated and bringing down property values. You just paid for it 2 years ago, why would you get rid of a nearly new fence?

I would tell them that the fence is staying but you’d be happy to recommend your contractor.

Ladygardenerinderby · 21/02/2026 20:14

I think it’s really apparent why they want you to take it down , they will be just like their predecessors leave it where it is I say

berightorbehappy · 21/02/2026 20:24

No way. Just say “l’ve thought about your offer but realised that l really love having the fence here and the privacy it gives us …it took a while before we could afford to put it up and are really happy with how it looks so we really wouldn’t dream of removing it now ! “

BrokenWingsCantFly · 21/02/2026 20:27

Why would you even consider it? Just say no, you paid to install it only last year. Thr only reason they would want it gone is if they felt they needed some of your space

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 20:35

The Op was supposed to be telling them today......I hope it went well.

HepatitisBee · 21/02/2026 20:39

Keep the fence - it's your property, your choice. But I am a little puzzled by the original reason for putting it up - was it really such a problem that your neighbours were encroaching on your property in order to use their drive? That happens all the time in our road - it's almost impossible to park otherwise. As long as they are not actually parking on your drive and not causing any damage, why not just live and let live? We live in a terrace, and I literally can't get to parts of my front garden (without damaging plants, etc) without walking on the separating low wall (which is my neighbour's), or even standing in their garden - and the same applies to them. Neither of us worries in the slightest about this.

oldkeywest · 21/02/2026 20:56

Goodness no, just tell them you just paid to have it put up last year. Why would you want to have it taken down a year later.

dcthatsme · 21/02/2026 21:02

That is a bonkers request. As others have suggested I’d show them how you’ve extended your driveway and thanks but no thanks. Good luck!

Kelly1969 · 21/02/2026 21:31

Absolutely not, nothings changed since you put the fence up, you will end up annoyed and be out of pocket when you end up replacing it.
Its of no advantage to you for them to take it down, so of course the cost would be on them, such an odd thing to say!

Pudmyboy · 21/02/2026 21:32

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:44

They said it was due to lack of space, but as pp have pointed out, taking it down won't make a difference unless they plan to use my side as well.

If it comes to it (as in they keep up the pressure), would you ask them how you taking the fence down on your land would give them space, as the fence is entirely on your land: how would that help with lack of space on their side, as they wouldn't be gaining any space, unless they ended up using your land...
As in, make it clear that the boundaries are firmly set, and you are puzzled by their request because the boundary fence is not on their land, it's on yours....

In summary, make it clear the fence is on your land so there is no way they will get more space if you did remove it, which you are not going to do, because you like the boundaries to be clear.

TessSaysYes · 21/02/2026 21:40

"no" is a complete sentence, and doesn't need an explanation.
This is when the beloved net mums phrase is perfect for the job.
If they ask why, shrud your shoulders, and repeat.

Billybea · 21/02/2026 21:41

Overthebow · 20/02/2026 18:26

Keep the fence. They want to use your drive, otherwise they wouldn’t need the fence down.

This! ⬆️⬆️

pouletvous · 21/02/2026 21:44

soooooooooo

petty!!!!

move to a big detached house in the country you small minded twerp