New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

[ellogov]

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

I wouldn’t even go and mention it to them again, leave them to be cheeky fuckers and bring it up.

Then say “oh yes we did give it some thought it but we are keeping it, it offers some privacy and stops people using our drive way”

They won’t have more space if you remove your fence, they will have your space to encroach on. So you will have the same problem again.

A hard no

I would say something like “I’m going to keep the fence it cost me a lot of money and has only been up a year. Also removing it won’t actually give your more space because of where our property boundaries are anyway. The combination of the fence and extending my driveway has been ideal for me so if you want the details of the person who did the work let me know.”

This way you are referencing the boundary but not specifically pointing out that they want to start accessing your space. If they want to argue the point they kind of have to say well yes we were going to start using part of your driveway which would then allow you to say that this was actually a real problem with the previous owner hence the fence.

Oh, this is absolutely a no.

They want more space and they want to get it out of your driveway. You had the same issue and you widened your driveway.

I think the trick is wording it right, so that you set your boundaries as immovable while presenting yourself as the nice neighbour you are, to maintain a positive relationship. And also subtly hint that they can also widen their damn driveway instead of using your garden as extra turning circle!

Here's how I'd say it in northern Irish, please update it to what sounds good and friendly in your regional accent. 😁

"Ah thanks a million, buddy, I appreciate you offering to cover the cost - that's really decent of you.
So ... I put up that fence because (insert made-up reason related to safety or prevention of damage here, e.g. stopping kids or pets from getting into trouble or being a nuisance OR use a reason like you love how it looks and always wanted a wee fence like that since you were a wee girl 😁😇), and so I want to keep it.
But you know... if space is tight on your side, you might be able to put the money into getting your driveway widened.
I had the same problem, it was really annoying me, so I got mine done last year and it made a massive difference. I can give you the phone number of the guy who did it if you like?"

This.
what reason did they give for wanting to take it down? I’m guessing it’s because it will make it easier for them if they can use your side to turn etc
Say no to removing the fence and suggest they do what you have done in terms of widening their own side

I think you are right to tell them that you are keeping the fence and to do it today.

A neighbour once asked me if I wanted him to move a plant on my land but near the boundary. I said I would think about it but did not go back to them as I did not want to have the conversation.

I arrived home one day to find the plant being dug up - with them in my garden - they thought silence meant yes so I was left with a massive hole and a mess that I could not sort out - so a big gardener's bill.

I would not give too many explanations as it just leads to trying to wear you down. Just say you love the fence and as it is on your land you will keep it. Don't suggest they park on the road as you mentioned in an earlier post as then they may try to park badly so you will agree that your loss of privacy is better than being partially blocked in. If you mention privacy they will say they won't look etc

Good luck with the conversation.

Im sure the neighbours are nice, but they might move out @ any time, who knows what subsequent neighbours will be like?
The fence is yours, on your land.
If it were me I’d write a letter saying I wanted my fence to stay where it is. You can probably find similar ‘letter’ samples online.
Don’t add any detail or reasons as that gives them something to argue or lever with.
Probably keeping a copy wouldn’t hurt.

Im not suggesting you say it rudely to them just concisely so the discussion doesnt continue. Because you might be concerned about the relationship but they are comfy being CFs enough to ask you to move your fence to use your land. And i my ecpereince someone cheeky enough to ask that may escalate regardless of what you say. So you might have to be prepared. Id keep my answer short and evaluate how the discussion evolves

If you give the impression you're open to negotiation then say no it will may be worse long term. If you want to be friendly try something like: Hey, you caught me off guard yesterday thanks for the offer but I thought about it and I am keeping my fence. It was expensive to put up and like it.

Then if they try and talk you round you think about more:

If they say about drive space in a friendly way I would say: id suggest maybe extending your drive i can recommend the people who did mine

If they try and talk you round: im sorry but ive decided, its my fence on my land and im unclear how me changing my property changes anything

Id worry by trying to help they'll get cheekier so you need to be prepared with a point youll need to be assertive

This is what I’d do. Not bring it up with them at all and if they raise it just say, ‘no, I’m not going to do that’. No explanations. If they push. ‘It’s my property and my boundary, so no I won’t be removing the fence.’

They’ll have to learn how to manoeuvre their cars on and off their drive, widen it if necessary on their own dime. I’d get a ring doorbell though and position it to include coverage of the fence in case at some future date they damage it and you have to make a claim.

I can only think they’ve ben spurred on to ask this by te outgoing neighbours who, pissed off that you erected it, suggested to them that you’d be amenable to taking it down. No other reason I can think of that a neight would ask you to remove a fence from your own property.

Cheeky buggers!

My exact post earlier ! Absolutely 💯

See the post from the person who didn't raise it and the CF's took silence for consent. They dug out a plant in HER garden which they thought was too near the boundary. No one, even me who is an old nasty cow, likes having these conversations, my experience is the best way to deal with it is to act quickly, be very clear, keep it polite but not enter into discussion, not give reasons or excuses, as is said on here so many times, have your words ready and just keep using them. I agree that it might have come from the previous neighbour, which to me indicates a certain level of entitled idiocy....I mean who buys a house thinking the drive is too narrow but the seller tells you "oh they will take the fence down" and they believe them.

Just be careful that you don't give them reasons to push back if you are going to give them an explanation.
ie "I had people walking past my window so I wouldn't want that happening again' so they can assure you that absolute would not happen. Until it does.

Sometimes the never explain rule is very helpful.

"I've had a think about it but I think it looks nice and to be honest I was even considering putting some planters on it so I'll be keeping it. If you want to widen yours I can give you the details of the people I used".

A simple (as my Nan would say) Oh no dear !
Will do definitely don’t agree to this if it’s on your property why would they want it taken down ?

No they didn’t take silence as consent. They were just CFs who carried on regardless.

No. It's on my side of the boundary, I'm quite satisfied with it and won't be removing it. I decided to have my driveway widened at the same time and it cost me a lot of money.

You just say no, that doesnt work for me. No further explanation needed. There is nothing they can do about it.
They have a nerve asking IMO.

Agree with this too

I also just noticed you have room for three cars on your drive, and for a certainty they'll be telling themselves "Well, she can afford to give a bit of it can't she".
Such types often do and it's not something you can risk allowing

Never explain, never apologise. Just say, no.

This x1,000!

Taking your fence down ONLY gives them more space by allowing access to your drive; even if it's only to let them park right up to their boundary they're then stepping out of their car and onto your drive (and getting closer to your front windows than they need to be).

So, tell them no, taking YOUR fence out doesn't give THEM any more space it just gives them access to yours, and suggest that they look to widen their drive in the same way you did, and here you are I've written down the details of the firm I used they were very good, widening your drive gives you a permanent solution rather than the quick-fix of having access to my drive, end of conversation.

I'd definitely include the phrase 'having access to my drive' in my response - it's possible they are still thinking in terms of 'being able to use the full width of my drive' without thinking that all the way through to 'by being able to use part of next-door's drive too'.

I really do think you’re shooting yourself in the foot here. By telling them you’ll let them know, you’ve now set an expectation for them that you are seriously considering their offer, when you’re not. The second they asked how you’d feel about it, you should instantly have told them why the fence was put up in the first place because the last owners were walking all over your property all the time rather than doing something about their own property to make more space, and that you don’t want to remove it.

that's odd because the person who actually posted it said they did!

Nk doubg they expect you to pay for that too.

Don’t be silly. The CF neighbours claimed they took the poster’s silence as consent. But that’s bullshit. They went ahead and did what they wanted knowing full well they didn’t have it.

Thanks for that but
any thoughts on the fence issue