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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
Numsmetposter · 21/02/2026 00:13

Yes keep it simple. Oh no thanks, I only recently put it up, it cost a lot and I like it .

I also had it widened they did a great job if you want their details...

By 'pay for removal' do they mean smash it up themselves and take to the dump?

Pinepeak2434 · 21/02/2026 00:15

I wouldn’t take it down. I had a wall built on my drive, I was fed up with my neighbours visitors walking and half parking on my drive. Just tell them no - they cannot touch it if it’s on your land.

Francestein · 21/02/2026 00:16

I would very calmly tell them that you put it there because old neighbours were using your space and as it is on your side, it is not going to give them any more room. You will leave it where it is.

Pinepeak2434 · 21/02/2026 00:19

I wouldn’t even bother explaining why - the fence is on your land. I’d just say no.

mellicauli · 21/02/2026 00:32

I would be clear and unapologetic, keeping it polite but no room for negotiations

I put the fence up 2 years ago because it made it really clear which part of the drive is my property, so you'll understand why taking the fence down isn't something I'll consider I think your best option widen your drive like I did . It's proved a good solution to the narrow drive problem.

Ivelostmyglasses · 21/02/2026 00:38

If they say they need space just say"I know, the drives are really narrow -come and have a look at how I widened mine."

MO0N · 21/02/2026 00:48

ellogov · 20/02/2026 20:27

After they asked and offered to pay, they said they’d be fine if I wanted to think it over. I just said ok no problem, I’ll let you know, and that was it. So I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t say no either! Tbh they caught me off guard.

They act as if they are due a right of access to your property & speak as if they are being magnanimous by not demanding that you agree on the spot!

PrettyPickle · 21/02/2026 00:50

NamingNoNames · 20/02/2026 23:14

I can't believe I am reading this.

Just be honest and say No.

Why tell them how it came about?
Then explain that although they may prove trustworthy and have kindly offered to pay for the fence taking down which is really appreciated,
Why should OPbe appreciative of somene offering to remove her fence from her property?

So unfortunately you have to decline.
Unfortunately???!

Bloody hell! Are you insane.

Look, if you want to set off on a bad footing with the neighbours, be short and rude and see where that gets you. Why make things awkward when you don't need to.

I have a very narrow drive and my neighbour has a narrow drive. We agreed not to put a fence between us so we can step out onto each others drive, it makes it easier for us. I have had my drive widened at the front but the top of the drive would be an issue if there was a fence there. So I understand the issue.

OPs neighbours have politely asked if the fence can be removed at their expense, they are not asking for a freebie. And yes it implies they will at the very least step on your drive.

But for the reasons I stated before, decline the offer, there is no need to be rude and whilst NO is a complete sentence and honest, what she says now can frame the relationship going forwards.

They just need to understand how the fence came about and the issues she had and why she is not taking it down.

PrettyPickle · 21/02/2026 00:54

NoFiller · 20/02/2026 23:45

Absolutely.

Some of the posts here are hilarious, and show how wet blankets so many are when they feel they need to apologise or say they “would prefer” not to have their own property destroyed.

I particularly liked the poster who suggested (apparently in earnest?) that the OP should tell the neighbours that their “kind offer” to pay (to destroy her property) was “really appreciated”.

Edited

And I don't think that being kurt will lead to a good relationship going forward. Each to their own.

StandingSideBySide · 21/02/2026 00:55

Removing your fence won’t make their drive any wider
Clearly they will end up using your property to access their cars

Tell them you had your drive widened to solve the problem
Just say no to the fence removal, no explanations necessary

Snaletrale · 21/02/2026 01:01

Stick to your guns op.

somedogsdo · 21/02/2026 01:07

No way. Keep your fence where it is. You put it up for a reason remember. So why invite that problem
back in to your life by removing it?

Daygloboo · 21/02/2026 01:13

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

Tell them why you put it up in the first place and that while you are sure they are nice people you swore to youraelf that you would not takw the fence down and risk it happenjng again. You could even exaggerate and say it was an awful experience that turned very unpleasant and you just cant bear any more aggro.

IamNotBeingUnreasonable · 21/02/2026 01:22

I can't imagine why you are even considering this, if you take it down you'll end up with the previous issue.

NoFiller · 21/02/2026 01:25

Friendlygingercat · 21/02/2026 00:09

I would put a note through their door.

"We decided to keep our fence exactly as it is. If you need more room we suggest you pay a contractor to widen your garden just as we did. A gentle warning - when you are the new kids on the block it can come across as a bit pushy to ask established residents to alter their property to suit you. Not a good look."

I must have missed the part in the OP where she said that, as well as not wanting to take down her fence, she wanted to communicate this in a way that would make her look a complete bell-end.

Daygloboo · 21/02/2026 01:29

NoFiller · 21/02/2026 01:25

I must have missed the part in the OP where she said that, as well as not wanting to take down her fence, she wanted to communicate this in a way that would make her look a complete bell-end.

😂

Greyblueeyes · 21/02/2026 01:45

You really do need to just say no. They’ve clearly told you they want the fence down so they can use your property. I am a bit baffled as to why you would even consider it. You would be walking back into the same problem you fixed with the fence. And then they would be mad when you told them to stop using your property. Don’t make suggestions about widening their drive. Don’t get into a discussion. I wouldn’t even bring it up again. If they mention it, tell them that you are sorry but you will not be removing it. Be polite and move on. Don’t let these people walk all over you!

VividPinkTraybake · 21/02/2026 03:00

tealandteal · 20/02/2026 18:24

They won’t have any more space if the fence comes down, unless they start using your space. I would say no. Good fences make good neighbours.

That quote was meant ironically by Robert Frost btw

WaryHiker · 21/02/2026 04:44

It constantly amazes me how passive and doormatty UK Mumsnetters on these threads can be. I assume that doesn't apply to all of you, but it shouldn't apply to anyone.

I'm pretty sure that if this happened where I live in Australia, the answer would have been a swift and immediate No bloody way, mate! I put that fence up for a reason, and it's staying. Followed by the neighbours grinning and saying, No worries!

I really struggle to understand all these answers that include sorry and I'm afraid that and I'm sure you're lovely people but ...

I think I've been away from the UK for too long and have lost the habit of lying down and inviting all and sundry to wipe their feet on me.

T1Dmama · 21/02/2026 05:08

Hi Neighbours.
Just wanted to get back to you about the fence, I only had it installed last year so don’t it removed, it gives me privacy. It is fully on my land too, so shouldn’t be affecting the room on your side. Here’s the details of the company who widened my drive if you’d like a quote.

ToriMounj · 21/02/2026 05:12

No way. The only reason they want it down is to use your side. No thank you indeed.

justasmalltownmum · 21/02/2026 05:19

SAY NO

99bottlesofkombucha · 21/02/2026 05:50

This seems very easy to me- you say I like my fence and I’m keeping it, but I get the narrow drive is annoying, I had mine widened so I could park easily, it was pretty straightforward and happy to answer any questions you have about that.

partialsoup · 21/02/2026 06:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Manova14 · 21/02/2026 06:35

WaryHiker · 21/02/2026 04:44

It constantly amazes me how passive and doormatty UK Mumsnetters on these threads can be. I assume that doesn't apply to all of you, but it shouldn't apply to anyone.

I'm pretty sure that if this happened where I live in Australia, the answer would have been a swift and immediate No bloody way, mate! I put that fence up for a reason, and it's staying. Followed by the neighbours grinning and saying, No worries!

I really struggle to understand all these answers that include sorry and I'm afraid that and I'm sure you're lovely people but ...

I think I've been away from the UK for too long and have lost the habit of lying down and inviting all and sundry to wipe their feet on me.

Yeah I don't know if you're familiar with the recent Australian pop hit "Keith" by Playlunch, but it'd be a bit like that lol.