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New neighbours asked if they could take my fence down

467 replies

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

OP posts:
godmum56 · 21/02/2026 11:31

Aluna · 21/02/2026 10:50

Don’t be silly. The CF neighbours claimed they took the poster’s silence as consent. But that’s bullshit. They went ahead and did what they wanted knowing full well they didn’t have it.

whatever the facts, and I agree none of us are magically gifted and cannot know, if the poster had told CF neighbours NO they could not move the plant, they wouldn't have had that excuse. Please also lay off the childish insults, they are not becoming.

poetryandwine · 21/02/2026 11:45

I agree you need to be clear with your neighbours that you are keeping the fence, OP!

Snazzysausage · 21/02/2026 12:10

I would just say
"I'm not up for taking my fence down but I know what you mean about the narrow drive,it's exactly why I had mine widened"
End of conversation.
Although I would also be
(politely) asking how my fence lessens the width of their drive. But that's me.

PeanutsLunadexter · 21/02/2026 12:19

I would say "That doesn't work for me" end of discussion.

HelplessSoul · 21/02/2026 12:20

ellogov · 20/02/2026 18:22

Around two years ago, I put up a fence to divide my driveway from my neighbours. I made sure it was entirely on my side, not intruding on their area at all. The reason behind this was that they kept using my side to move their cars around, and they, along with their guests, would walk up and down my side to get around their vehicles all the time. They weren’t thrilled about it, but I was already doing some renovations, so I used that as my excuse. I never actually told them the real reason, though I have a feeling they figured it out. The driveways are pretty narrow, but that’s just how they were constructed. I had mine widened last year, so it’s much better now.

They moved out in September. New neighbours moved in just before Christmas, and they seem nice. I’ve chatted with them a few times, asking how they’re settling in. This morning, they asked how I’d feel about taking the fence down. They mentioned it’s because they don’t have much space and offered to pay for its removal. I’m a bit torn on what to do. While they seem friendly, I’m concerned they might end up being like the previous neighbours. If they’re really in need of more space, they could always pay to widen their side, and even though they’ve offered to cover the removal costs, it doesn’t compensate for the money I spent putting it up last year, and I’d have to pay again to put up another one if they start taking advantage of the situation.

What do you think? Should I say no sorry and keep them separate?

You should have said the fence is mine, on my land and doesnt affect you.

Your small driver is a "you" problem (as in the CF NDNs problem).

Personally I'd have laughed and told them to fuck off.

Brightlittlecanary · 21/02/2026 12:25

HelplessSoul · 21/02/2026 12:20

You should have said the fence is mine, on my land and doesnt affect you.

Your small driver is a "you" problem (as in the CF NDNs problem).

Personally I'd have laughed and told them to fuck off.

That would have been a really stupid response when they say can you remove YOUR fence as it’s impacting the space we have 😂

Aluna · 21/02/2026 12:42

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 11:31

whatever the facts, and I agree none of us are magically gifted and cannot know, if the poster had told CF neighbours NO they could not move the plant, they wouldn't have had that excuse. Please also lay off the childish insults, they are not becoming.

You don’t need to be gifted, you just need to stick to the facts as presented.

Lack of consent does not imply consent.

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 12:47

Aluna · 21/02/2026 12:42

You don’t need to be gifted, you just need to stick to the facts as presented.

Lack of consent does not imply consent.

I am not saying that it does for people who are not CF's

Aluna · 21/02/2026 12:48

godmum56 · 21/02/2026 12:47

I am not saying that it does for people who are not CF's

And if they’re CFs they may have done it anyway with an explicit no.

Pancakesbythedozen · 21/02/2026 12:49

Wave your hands around and tell them they have all that space.. Cfers indeed

susiedaisy1912 · 21/02/2026 12:52

Overthebow · 20/02/2026 18:26

Keep the fence. They want to use your drive, otherwise they wouldn’t need the fence down.

This

MeridianB · 21/02/2026 13:07

ellogov · 20/02/2026 21:44

Probably 😂 it wouldn’t surprise me at all!

Agree with this, OP. They have started as they mean to go on.

I wouldn’t bother going over there and opening up another conversation about the fence. Just leave it until they raise it again and say no. I suspect they are supreme CFs.

Plmnki · 21/02/2026 13:13

OP, you sound like a bit of a doormat. Of course they “seemed nice”. They are absolute CFs and I’m amazed you can’t see how you’re being manipulated. They want you to change YOUR property to suit THEM?

sit back and take a look at that. It’s madness. If they want more space, it’s up to them to create it on their property, not use yours. The British obsession with politeness and neighbourly goodwill over rides common sense so often - don’t fall for it.

if they want more space, point out they bought the property as is, and use the phrase “I’m sure you’ll work something out using your own property in a way that doesn’t impact me” to make it clear you’ve seen through their ruse and to put in a boundary of behaviours that reinforces your very useful physical fence.

WearyAuldWumman · 21/02/2026 13:21

Aluna · 21/02/2026 10:50

Don’t be silly. The CF neighbours claimed they took the poster’s silence as consent. But that’s bullshit. They went ahead and did what they wanted knowing full well they didn’t have it.

This. I've used the "I'll think about it" tactic in the past.

It stopped someone trying to manipulate me when I was at a very low point. Once the situation was over, they claimed to be delighted with the result and even tried to take partial credit for it. (Nothing like a boundary problem - quite a different matter.)

UniversityofWarwick · 21/02/2026 13:21

godmum56 · 20/02/2026 21:42

I'd find it cheeky fuckery and so CF its actually funny.....I mean "we have just moved in and we want YOU to make changes to YOUR drive for OUR convenience....but its okay because we'll do the work" I do wonder if the sellers wer easked about the narrow drive and they said something like "Oh the lady next door will take it down if you ask her"

We had a not dis-similar situation. Guy who owned the shed next to us converted it to a house. He put in French doors across half the front and put decking there. Trouble is there’s very little land around the house and only parking space is where he put the decking and the but beside it which wasn’t flat. He’d use our space opposite this across our driveway which we didn’t mind the odd times he was here, but he then told the buyer to park there too. Again, it was fine occasionally but then she told our guests not to park there. On our privately owned land! At that point we bought a second car and reclaimed the place permanently!

Christmasinmecar · 21/02/2026 13:23

Haven't rtft but I bet it's at least 11 pages of repeating the same thing and nothing new. But then what else can be said on the subject? Only on MN can replies sound like a stuck record with the parroting.😁

WearyAuldWumman · 21/02/2026 13:31

I'm also repeating what others have said, but thinking about it...Yes, there's a risk that the neighbours might claim that they have been given verbal consent to remove the fence. (That has nothing to do with their understanding of "I'll think about it." In my case, I had clearly stated that what the other person wanted was impossible.They changed the conversation and then pretended that I'd agreed...which is when I used "I'll think about it." In my case, it was impossible for them to interfere.)

I'm now gravitating towards stating in writing that the fence has to stay up. There's no need to give a reason for that. If the OP wants to "soften" the letter, she can add the name of a company that widens driveways with the "hope that this will" help flannel.

InMyOodie · 21/02/2026 13:40

@5arahM "Ah thanks a million, buddy, I appreciate you offering to cover the cost - that's really decent of you.

How is it 'decent' of them to offer to cover the cost of smashing down a newly erected fence in someone else's garden? Purely for their own convenience.

It's like thanking a person who wanted to dispose of your car so they could use your driveway.

5arahM · 21/02/2026 14:01

Exactly! We are agreed. 😊
It's not decent in the slightest. It's entitled and wrong.
I'd just add that to avoid conflict with new neighbours, and to lead in to the part where I say they can instead invest the money in widening their drive.

NamingNoNames · 21/02/2026 15:49

Christmasinmecar · 21/02/2026 13:23

Haven't rtft but I bet it's at least 11 pages of repeating the same thing and nothing new. But then what else can be said on the subject? Only on MN can replies sound like a stuck record with the parroting.😁

It's not, and had you RTFT you'd know that.

They vary from Just say No. No is a complete sentence.
to
Removing the fence wouldn't widen your drive.
to
Gosh, I'm awfully sorry NDN but although I am so appreciative of your generous offer, I'm a bit timid and don't like having people I don't know using my drive because I like my privacy. Oh, you wouldn't use my drive? We'll see what we can do then.

loislovesstewie · 21/02/2026 16:00

And I agree that you should put your refusal in writing so there is no doubt that you mean no.

Mischance · 21/02/2026 16:02

Say you are happy with things as they are and show them how you widened your own drive. Maybe tell them who did it for you.

caringcarer · 21/02/2026 17:41

I would tell them it was very expensive to put up and it's only been in place a year so no but suggest they widen their own drive like you did.

Schoolsec · 21/02/2026 17:44

Absolutely do not take down your fence. They or their visitors will start to encroach. A fence is the perfect visible reminder of where they can park and move around.

Be polite, but suggest they widen theirs as you had to.

Brandur · 21/02/2026 17:45

My answer would be a no. The new neighbours saw how the drive was before they decided to buy the house and went ahead, they should not expect change once they made their decision to buy.