@PropertyD Your story of that middle aged man and the 90 year old mother, puts me in mind of this one time some 20-22 years ago, when I had been visiting a great aunt (my grandfather's brother's wife.... so actually, my great uncles's wife...) Both my grandfather and my great uncle had died about a decade earlier. My great aunt had been married to my great uncle for about 12 years. Since they were in their mid early-50s. No children together.
Hardly anyone bothered in my family with her once my grandfather and great uncle died, and I was pretty much the only visitor when she went into hospital for a hip replacement operation.. (She was in her mid to late 60s.) She just had me, and 2 neighbours visiting. She, and the hospital she was in were 25 miles away from me, but I still went to see her.
She had one son from a previous marriage who was in his late 30s, who lived some 50 miles away, and she saw him maybe twice a year. She had to have a hip replacement, and would be out of sorts/quite immobile for about 4-5 months. Her son never showed his face once in the 2 weeks she was in hospital. A couple of neighbours showed up a few times, but I was the only relative. I visited 5-6 times in the 2 weeks she was there.
When the time came for her to be discharged, the Staff Nurse cornered me on this one visit (2 days before she was due to be discharged,) and started giving me orders as to what I needed to do when she was discharged. Upshot was, they were expecting me to take her to my house, and look after her for the time of her recovery (which could be 4 or 5 months.) I wasn't asked or anything, it was decided I would take her to my house and be her carer for 4-5 months!
I gasped and half-laughed. I said 'I can't take her home, I have a small 2-bed house, and 2 junior school aged children, and a job (3 days a week at the time.) Also, DH worked a 3-rota shift (6am-2pm, 2pm-10pm, and 10pm-6am,) and he would not be available to help. Nor would he want to to be honest.
She said, 'well surely she can sleep in one of the childrens beds and they can use the couch?' I was like 
I thought 'is this woman for real?!' I said a very firm and assertive 'no way is this happening, this is ridiculous that you have made these arrangements without even consulting me and my husband.' The Staff Nurse said 'but it's all arranged, your great aunt is expecting to come to yours.'
I said 'whose idea was this?' She said 'it's been arranged with your great aunt and the staff and social services. Why are you saying no?' I said 'because I can't do it. It's not possible. I have a tiny house, a job, and 2 young children. It's not happening. Call her son, he needs to step up.' The Staff Nurse then told me that my great aunt had said he was a terribly busy professional, and a man, it's not right to ask him.' So apparently, he - her own SON - is far too busy and important. So let's ask the frazzled mother of 2 children, who actually has no spare bedrooms, and a bloody job too! I mean, it's wimminz work right! 
The Staff Nurse just huffed and snorted and walked off. I left quickly.
tl;dr a few days later, I found out from the hospital that my great aunt had gone home and a carer had been assigned, and when I phoned her 2-3 days later, her next door neighbour answered and said my great aunt never wants to speak to me again, as I have let her down so badly, and I needn't think I would be included in her will. She won't be giving me single penny.' I was like I didn't even know I was in her will anyway, and didn't want, need, or expect anything from her!!!
It was OK for her actual SON to not do anything to help her, or have her live with him, but me.... I was the devil incarnate, and an uncaring young madam who deserved to be cut off.
Never saw her or heard from her again.
!