Anyone downsized after the kids left home?

[Mumwithbaggage]

We have 4 children - only the youngest (22) is still at home (some of the time). I love having a big house for when they all turn up with partners but really, we no longer need 5 beds, 3 baths, 3 reception rooms and a large garden for 50 weeks of the year.

If you have downsized, where do your kids all stay when they come to visit?

I think the whole bungalow debate is interesting.
My dad had a back operation 3 years ago and fell and broke his hip last year.
They live in a modern house (that they downsized to) with plenty of room downstairs. We could turn part of the utilty room into a full downstairs bath if needed (there is a downstairs loo)
On both occasions we turned his downstairs study into a bedroom for a couple of weeks.
On both occasions he was determined to get back upstairs as soon as possible, which he did.
But the exercise of having to climb the stairs at least once a day has been really good for him. Going up and down stairs is actually pretty good for your health!
We know that we could put in a stair lift, because there was one there when they bought the house. But they don't want to. They want to climb the stairs, it keeps them fit. They are both mid 80s

There is a huge lack of bungalows - where I live, they are practically non existent. A stair lift makes more sense for many people. My dad got one put in and it meant he could stay at home. He was 91, still living independently, with neighbours he knew well and good access to services.

My parents were always going to downsize but for various reasons they didn't. They are now mid 80s, still fighting fit but the cleaning and the gardening is getting a bit much for them. I think they've left it too late now. They don't really want the hassle of visitors (particularly the ones with young dc (my dc) and most of the friends/family who used to visit regularly have passed or are in bad health.
I would like to downsize in the next couple of years (my house is smaller than theirs) and move nearer to 2 of my dc. I do have to factor in my parents as atm I live in the same small town as them and my only sibling died 2 years ago.

We are right on the cusp of downsizing - in fact, we are just back from a weekend break in the city we want to move to.

A few reasons..... we are suddenly rattling around in the house after 3 x DCs have moved out. The design of the house means it is painfully obvious that half of it is completely unused at the moment. Current house is expensive to run, and the garden is annoyingly big. Also, it has dawned on us that we want to be a bit more in the thick of things, have cultural stuff on the doorstep, places we can walk to etc etc.

However, the main driver for this is we really want to retire in the next couple of years, but still have 8 years left on our mortgage, so we really need to pay that off.

Fortunately, we live in a very expensive Surrey village and are planning to move to a cheaper area, so I'm hoping we don't need to compromise too much. Ironically, the current house is a bungalow, and the next one probably won't be....

As to where the DCs would stay....well, we would plan to still have 3 bedrooms. No grandchildren yet, but envisage adults in the bedrooms, GC on camp beds in the living room - we did this ourselves back in the day. Or B&Bs/hotels once they can afford it (another reason to live in a city). Neither of the DDs live far away, although DS is moving abroad later in the year.

I'm certainly not going to maintain a massive house just for a few days at Christmas, and I don't love my current house enough for it to be "forever". I am a bit of a hoarder, though, so feeling slightly sick at the thought of all the decluttering needed.

DM is 80, healthy for now, and still on her own in a 4-bed house, and is horrified by the concept of moving anywhere else. DDad likewise - but he has terminal cancer and has recently had to put a stairlift in his house as mobility is declining. He and DSM are busy doing Swedish Death Cleaning, bless them, but just have so much "stuff". Neither can quite understand why we would want to do this.

I'll take the views of someone on a forum over our friends of many years every day of the week.

Oh wait, no I won't

We downsized from a 5 bedroom 3 reception house, where all the rooms were really large. I.e living room 18ft x 14ft to a 4 bed with 2 receptions but the rooms are smaller, so on the odd occasion they all stay, we’ve got 3 beds to use and 1 receptions, and it’s quite fun to squeeze everyone in on blowup beds. It’s works for the odd time it’s needed. More for grandchildren now rather than children.

Absolutely!

getting old in good health is a privilege not afforded to us all!

My MIL was widowed suddenly, FIL had massive heart attack, gone instantly. They had a good size bungalow they'd downsized to. Big garden FIL loved.

MIL had three strong sons plus wives. She wanted to move to an apartment near the shops, hairdressers, golf club. The six of us rolled up our sleeves and cleared out the whole bungalow. She wanted all new furniture so everything had to go. She was 78 but still pretty fit. A very pragmatic woman.

Entirely up to you, of course, but their house has had one viewing in 3 years so it's fairly obvious what the problem is. 🤔

Bless her. She sounds like a v sensible woman. Pragmatism is under rated! You sound like a lovely family too.

Sadly not.

There is a genuine phenomena called "bungalow legs", whereby peoples hip and knee muscles shrink, making falls and fractures more likely.We have lived in a bungalow for 14 years, but we live opposite the south downs, have 2 border collies, and therefore are hill walking..

We're getting out just in time, then! 😄

Actually, ours is a chalet bungalow, so our bedroom is up a fairly precipitous staircase. Although my knees creak something rotten as I'm walking up it.....

If it really were a thing you would expect to see far more of these issues in populations which are overwhelmingly apartment living - evidence which doesn’t exist that I have ever found.

Its a popular urban myth, so popular that I’ve heard medical related professionals repeat it but never able to point to studies showing this result (when matched for other factors). Falls on stairs OTOH...

@C8H10N4O2 having lived in apartments abroad I often found there were steep stairs involved in getting to the apartment- and when the lift failed.

@C8H10N4O2 don't worry, I took it with a pinch of salt. I'm at the gym three times a week so it hardly matters if there's a staircase in my house or not.

But it isn't unreasonable to suggest that if you aren't using certain muscles at all in later life then they start to atrophy, hence the importance of staying active. Stairs or no stairs!

My friend downsized from a big 4 bedroom detached in a very desirable area. They bought a penthouse apartment (3 bedroom) and a villa in Italy. They retired and now spend time in both. The villa pays for itself through rental income and they rent out the flat when they’re not in it to theatre folk.

I would, because the person on the forum MN is probably dealing with
the situation live. Which may mean asking for ideas or more practical help.

I've had both hips replaced (at younger age than most) and stairs have been no problem before and after. I’m of the belief use it or lose it

Exactly this.
Stairs could well make some difference if you spend your retirement sitting on your bum watching TV all day but not if you make an effort to be generally active, to walk up and down hills, play sport, do balance and strenth exercises or use the gym.

I got an ad for a local retirement village through the post yesterday!! I know forward planning's a thing but I'm 61. Not quite ready for Thursday Murder Club just yet! Do you think they saw my thread? 😅

@Mumwithbaggage I’m getting them too and I’m 51! 🤣

We have a similar plan and have started spending time in different towns and cities that we would consider moving to. I’d love to know where you are considering moving to from Surrey.

Top of the list is Canterbury!

Loved our weekend there, the location works for us, and we will get a lot more for our money.

What about you?

Canterbury is lovely! We’ve looked at Chichester but now veering towards Norwich. We like both but the housing is so much cheaper in Norwich.