Anyone downsized after the kids left home?

[Mumwithbaggage]

We have 4 children - only the youngest (22) is still at home (some of the time). I love having a big house for when they all turn up with partners but really, we no longer need 5 beds, 3 baths, 3 reception rooms and a large garden for 50 weeks of the year.

If you have downsized, where do your kids all stay when they come to visit?

My parents downsized to a 2-bed flat with a lift, walking distance to all amenities which was great for their retirement.
If we visited we stayed in the spare room with kids on fold-out beds. If my sibling’s family also visited at the same time they’d book a AirBnB.

The sale of the house enabled them to also purchase a small flat to rent out, providing extra income.
They were also incredibly generous to gift us a £50k deposit each, to get us started on the property ladder ourselves, for which we shall always be grateful.

This is such an interesting thread!

Our plan (in 20 years) is to downsize so that we can give each of the kids a house deposit. If we could do that without downsizing then we would obviously prefer that!

Not just me dreaming of a one bedroom house then!

I think we will move when the last dc leaves for university in a years time. I've moved loads of times, countries, lived in cities and the back of beyond:)

I can work anywhere. Dh has a life limiting condition so I might be on my own. But I'd like space for the dc if they visit or want to live at home for any reason. Where I live now has it all and was ro be the final home, but there is lots of residential development so its changed a lot, very busy with noise and light pollution.

So we do plan to move, but no idea where.

So the ideal is - 2 bedroom detached single storey mortgage free - 1/2 acre garden - village on a bus route - kids and grandkids fairly local

Yes we downsized then a teenaged gc moved in so it became party house again 😂

Yes having seen what happened with my parents, my plan is to downsize to a flat or bungalow in the 70-75 age range which I hope will be before I get too infirm. I want the life @Mumwithbaggage has described here where I can easily get out to the library, cinema, local cafes for a potter around and have shops nearby without having to drive.

We downsized when one child was left at home the others had married but live locally. @Mumwithbaggage doesn't give their age or health.

We've still got three bedrooms downstairs, one is an office. One bedroom and bathroom upstairs for son and partner who don't live locally.

DH missed the big house and acres, but was always away with hobbies. I got fed up being isolated and cleaning a big house. I pushed for the move. Seven years later my back and hips started to play up I wound up on sticks. I've had one hip replacement waiting for the other. I can't drive at the moment so I'm relieved to be near my kids, grandkids now. And have a bungalow to clean.

Don't forget to factor in the stress of selling and buying. You have to declutter furniture not just clothes and small items. You have to deal with solicitors, agents. You have to pack up so much stuff. I filled the conservatory with boxes for only one charity who came in a big van. They took furniture too.

My husband emptied his workshop and sheds. He was a headless chicken to be honest.

my parents did this. Mind you they had moved every 10-15 years all their lives, so it wasn't a big one-off move.
They moved from very rural to edge of medium rural town with lots of amenities when they were in their early 70's
It was a downsize, from a big rambling old farmhouse with land to a 5 bed modern house with a good sized garden.
They use all the rooms, hobbies, sewing, study each etc, I think the idea of needing a smaller house when retired forgets that fact that you are at home all day.
My mum always said they moved before one of them fell and broke a hip.
It was the best thing they could have done. Now, 10 years later, my dad can't drive, did brake his hip last year and isn't very mobile and is registered blind.
Because they are on the edge of town they use loads of taxis and can mum can easily drive into town and drop him off.

I am 58 and my youngest has just left school. I love having empty bedrooms, I'm going to set one up as my sewing room. We use all the downstairs space, and love our garden. Love having spare room for guests and space for them all to come home at christmas. No way am I downsizing yet.

@justasking111 and anyone else who's interested, I'm 62 next month and dh is 65. No health issues - dh had a hip replacement a year or so ago but nothing more major than that. I certainly don't feel my age.

Dcs 1 and 3 have bought houses (both in mid 20s), one not far from us, one about 80 miles away. DC2 has the deposit, they are just not sure where to buy - down here in the south or up north where dd met her partner at university. Dc4 is only just 22 and recently graduated. Currently working on an entry grad job but still undecided on career longer term - is an MA worth the debt etc?? Nos 1,2,3 are all good earners with long term stable partners. One is married. They don't need any financial support from us.

......and this is the reason I think it makes sense to do it when you are "young retired" and hopefully still fit and healthy, rather than waiting until you 'need to'.

Having watched my SIL clear her mum;s house and now a friend clear her parents house, honestly the best gift you can give your kids is to have a clear out and have an empty attic and only keep stuff you actually use.

I totally agree with this post. There seem to be lots of people who think that their good health will last forever. It doesn't! It's so much harder to move once ill health/frailty is upon you than to plan for it in your late 50s/60s/early 70s when you are hopefully fairly fit still. The rural living thing seems like a nice dream but I think it's a big mistake in retirement unless the village is exceptionally well equipped with excellent public transport. Let's face it, that's rare nowadays!
So many people don't think about these things.

I don't know your exact area, of course, ? Norfolk, but what is more likely is that the local population can't afford these big, old houses, potentially the work that needs to be done and the cost of maintenance compared to the usually cheaper to buy and run new builds. Have your friends not reduced their property in 3 years with only 1 viewing?! They have obviously massively over priced it.

You are far more sensible and practical imo.
He's not considering what will happen once neither of you can drive or how stressful it might be for your DC to support you in the middle of nowhere.

We've already bought our downsize house. It was a wreck, and over the last 10 years or so we've pottered about renovating it. Each of our DC have made use of it at some point and a local family are currently renting it while they renovate their own home. The plan is once our youngest has moved out, we'll sell our home and move into the downsized one.

My MIL is very proud of her (huge, crumbling and damp) house. She's been banging on for years that her sons will inherit it. It's old, draughty and no one can afford to renovate it.

She very reluctantly agreed to sell it and downsize, but it's been for sale for 2 years and the price has been reduced several times. New builds popping up all over the place are much more appealing.

Sadly, the peak market was 2022, especially for those sort of huge, crumbling homes. She will end up needing to reduce the price a lot more before someone who can afford all the necessary expenses bites!

We downsized. Still got the same amount of bedrooms though. Smaller garden is easier to manage too. Not a problem

I totally agree. I am sixty and when I downsized I chose somewhere that’s less than 400 feet from a well established corner shop and bus stop. Major shops and supermarkets are less than a mile away.

I can still drive now but I don’t assume that will always be the case.

We are currently struggling with this issue. All kids left home and now we have two grandchildren. They all come to stay every second year and it’s become very hard work. Two of my adult DC rent and don’t have space for hosting. One owns their own home but it’s very small and no space for hosting either. So they all want to come ‘home’. Because two of them including grandchildren live hundreds of miles away and Xmas is the only real time they have off, they tend to come for a couple of weeks . This year I found it just exhausting and don’t want to do it again.
Consequently we are planning to move closer to two of our children so shorter trips will work. However property prices are higher in the areas we are considering. If we want an equivalent house it will mean us using most of our savings . So we would be buying a three to four bed house with decent sized garden . If we move to the area where grandkids are it’s going to be very expensive but the advantage is they won’t need to stay overnight. It’s just so hard to know what to do. It’s crazy to spend our savings on a very expensive move, but we currently feel very isolated and the distance between us all is a big problem. Our current house is quite cold and dark and we don’t use the dining room and don’t heat the unused bedrooms . However we need the space when they are all here.

My parents sold the family home and moved to a flat when we all left. Consequently we didn’t visit them as adults as they didn’t have space and made it clear they didn’t want us visiting anyway. They came to stay with us instead once or twice a year, which meant I didn’t have a ‘home’ to go back to and had little to do with my parents . My in laws kept the big family house and we used to stay with them for a week or two every year . It was a lifesaver. I don’t want to put my own children in the position that they can’t stay/.
An additional issue that we want to give money for deposits to the two who rent but can’t do this if we move to a more expensive house, nor until my own mother dies anyway.

It’s really hard to know what to do.

My parents moved to a 2 bed bungalow when we all moved out however I still lived in the same town so staying over wasn't an issue. My DB lives in Australia and they stayed in the spare room on vista. I would never expect my parents to compromise their financial stability so I have a place to stay once a year, that’s bonkers. Not being able to stay en masse doesn’t mean you don’t see your family. You ca still meet up, go away together or you could have the grandchildren to stay .

My DF is 86 and still driving. It’s not a given .