Due to exchange today, I didn't give the solicitor permission to proceed, they just said let us know what you're doing so we can close your file. That was it. I emailed them this evening and said not going ahead (I told the housing association last week I was worried and wanted to pull out, obviously no one can make up my mind for me, I've had enough trouble with that myself!) but it's been a horrible journey and I feel very sick.
I was allocated the house in March after making a full time job of securing one. I thought shared ownership was a lifeline for me, a way to get back on the property ladder after divorce, but I calculated by year 5 the rent etc would have risen so much I couldn't afford the payments and then would be worried whether or not I'd be able to sell, and even then probably at loss or barely making back what I paid. I'm in my 60s so it was a real last chance.
Back to looking for a new rental for now. I have some equity from the divorce but it's not going to go far towards buying anything. Feels like a sliding doors moment. Not sure what else I can say (before someone asks, it was a house, not a flat). Feeling sorry for myself? Relieved? Not sure.