Moving in a month, regret house purchase - HELP!

[NattyBeaker]

We've bought a 3 bed terraced house in a gorgeous newbuild development in a seaside town. It was a resale. We were initially waiting on a 4 bed semi from the developer that wasn't available until the end of 2025 when this came up.

The lower, more affordable mortgage was attractive to us as we're just starting a family and have nursery fees starting this month for 2 / potentially 4 years if we have another. I also want to cut hours to 4 days, and I've recently decided to go down to 3 days for a time maybe next year.

The one we've bought has ample space and storage, in fact it's almost same size as the 4 bed, but I can't stop thinking what have I done? I think we got fed up waiting (been house hunting for 18 months now) and went for this. My husband is really happy and excited, and I feel sick. What's worse is the 4 bed we were waiting on looked on to a park they'll be building in the estate, which just sounds lovely. Also I'll be at that park all the time with my lo and have to walk past it.

I appreciate this is such a first world, pathetic problem. Still, I can't change how I feel. I feel sick, can't eat, I'm ruining a good thing by worrying about the fact I'll need to move again in a few years if we outgrow a 3 bed. I feel like an absolute idiot for doing this and now wish our buyers would pull out so we could just stay put!!

Looking for support, has anyone ever felt so hopeless right before a move? Did it work out did you get past the "what if"?

There are always a lot of 'what ifs' when moving. For what it's worth I think you're making the right decision. Having young DC, nursery fees etc is hard. Much better to be able to work PT and still have some disposable income!
I don't know many people whose first house was their forever home. Think of the positives and you'll feel a lot happier 😉

Does the house you're moving to have the potential to be extended? Garage conversion?

We’re about to move to our fifth property together, over the course of 23 years. Started in a 2 bed flat, moved to a 3 bed semi, then to a 5 bed Victorian terrace, then to a four bed detached with large garden, and about to move into another 4 bed detached on a new development because we prefer that area and haven’t enjoyed this one. We plan for this to be our last move, as it’s a stressful process, but I’m glad we’ve taken time to ultimately get what we’ve had a long held dream for. If we’d pushed too soon financially, it would have seen us trapped or at a massive financial loss. We’ve always chosen to borrow significantly less than we’re “allowed” for mortgages. I agree with others about the park too.

I was worried about being trapped at a financial loss because the portion of payments that was interest was so high, and we couldn't overpay, wasn't actually a lot of capital being paid off. Then you're entirely reliant on house appreciation because you can't really overpay or save. I know it's paid of massively for lots of people but it felt risky just now when we reckon we'll move again in a few years. Relocating is hard! Such a gamble. We might find this village too small and move along the road to a town, we have family there and would have help with after school etc down the line so we always had that in the back of our minds

The garage is at the bottom of the garden! We could extend living space yeah or put a conservatory or something but when i suggested that to my husband he said that was daft and just buy the bigger house now 😂

Go with the flow. Look for the positives. Count this as natural cold feet.

Our first purchase was a tiny 2 bed bungalow. But we made it our own and it got us on the ladder - a few years later we moved on as the family grew. I look back on it with great fondness now.

There are benefits to this purchase that you have outlined - concentrate on those.

Honestly OP if you'd chosen the other way you might have been worrying yourself silly that you should have gone for the 3 bed instead.

I faced a similar choice years ago, went for the smaller house and thank god I did. My second child ended up being twins which meant one of us needed to give up work for a while. I shudder at the thought of what would have happened if we had overstretched ourselves.

Financial peace of mind is worth diamonds.

I think if you really feel like this, then maybe you need to investigate the 4 bed. I'm old and tbh I think you're making the right decision on the smaller house . Most women with kids would love to work less to have more time with their kids, particularly as they get to school age, and not only the logistics of childcare become harder but also mums want to attend all the endless school events. Smaller houses are cheaper to run, the costs are generally lower as will the mortgage be. I've learnt after covid, you just don't know what's round the corner....I've certainly been more aware of costs, outgoings, rising food costs etc. I've always taken the view that I'd rather be secure and comfortable rather than worried and challenged.

In answer to your other points, tbh I wouldnt want to live opposite the park. Even if I had small kids again. These new build parks are lovely, they are right in the housing developments but living opposite, God no. In high summer you'll hear is kids,kids,kids. Even when yours want to to go to bed. These parks aren't huge, so all the kids from the estate will congregate there,plus bikes, footballs, ice creams vans lol....all of it.

There is a chance yes that you could outgrow your 3 bed. I've known people who have lived in their "tiny" houses for 20/30/40 years because they love them so much. They've raised their family there, the kids have all shared rooms...theyve built loft rooms, conservatory etc ...they've paid off their mortgage early....lots of reasons to stay.

Thanks for all the nice comments and support this has made me feel a lot better! Trying to put all the worries of the future to the back of my head and just enjoy the next few years of my lo being small and a nice easy, warm house where everything works

That's great!
Also don't worry about your friends moving to their forever house now. This does happen sometimes but it's is also common to take the other path and step up houses gradually so you don't overstretch yourself. You may be grateful in the long run especially with the turbulent economy at the minute - you also can't put a price on that extra time with the kids.
You are also in the location you want to be in which is a great benefit.

I would focus on the positives and throw yourself into planning the decor and exciting things. You can also plan a little break away with some of the extra cash you will have left over. I hope it all works out for you.

Just wanted to chip in OP and say that you sound really really stressed. It's such a messy hard stressful time, it's natural for you to get lost in your head a bit and start to find problems and issues, but as someone who moved 6 years ago with a 9 month old and a 2 year old, please look after yourself. There's so much happening and you'll likely be bottom of your list for care and attention but if you can, please take the time to rest a little and look after yourself. And make sure you and your partner aren't finding things to bicker and fall out over, you're on the same team and have the same goal - to build a lovely home for your family.
Best of luck.

Thank you 😭 I am honestly so stressed. I don't seem to be coping well with huge decisions since having a baby at all. This is particularly bad though I think I've lost half a stone in 2 weeks. Also had a chest infection.
I wonder if I'd have bought any house that was up when this came up as it was getting to the end of the year and I know nothing really comes up again until Spring. I was saying things like "it'll be fine" etc which probably isn't how you should describe somewhere you're spending so much money on! We are just really desperate to get out there and start enjoying our life and be closer to family. Moving out of town is hard when on a time limit as nothing comes up.
I think what worries me is we plan to move for secondary again and so we really needed a house that'd do us 7 or 8 years. This will but it just makes it feel so final. But I saw a friend the other day who bought a forever home did a full a reno and now they've decided it's not right and will move in 5 years! Things change and I need to be more fluid

The location is honestly amazing. Which is why it's so expensive! One of the things I don't love is there's not much greenery around. I'm trying to think I can plant things and maybe buy some established plants to help. Make a little cosy space where I can see my nice plants from and look forward to sitting there

I suspect being directly opposite a playground sounds a lot nicer than the reality.

In summer you'd have streams of cars pulling up all over the place, possibly blocking you in, constant noise. By night you'll have teens probably making noise.

I think there is so much pressure these days to get the right house and stretch yourselves. We have never overstretched as I knew this would stress us out. We have moved many times over the years, each time the house had something that was not quite perfect but we loved each one of them. If you are moving in 5 years then enjoy this one. I agree living opposite a park has many downsides so I would not choose this. Remember you can always move.

Living across from an open space sounds lovely. Living across from a park does not.

When my DS was small we had common grounds and he wanted to be out all the time which was lovely. But I had to be out with him obviously. If we'd had even a small yard he could have been out himself. If you love opposite a park you will be in the park all the time instead of it being a little trip.

And the noise and inconvenience. And parents thinking they can drop their DC off so you become default baby sitter.

The house you are buying you can afford so you'll have extra funds for holidays or trips perhaps.

I do get it OP. You do have to feel happy with your home. I'd go back at different times just to see again and visualise what living in this house right across from a park will be like.

I still think of this amazing house I just couldn't afford. But I'm so happy where I am.

I know. If I'd over stretched I'd probably be worrying about that, I'm facing a few years of pay going down not up. Why have you moved so many times? Did you ever plan to stay somewhere then get in and decide to move again or just see something you wanted and that made the decision? I hear it's easier to move once you're already in the location too

FWIW a friend of mine bought a house overlooking the park and was really excited about , then found that after all the kids had gone home it became the place that local teens hung out drinking and doing balloons.

I was trying to remember how many times I have moved bought and sold .. probably about 12. Not always through choice,(nasty divorce homeless several times through no fault of my own,) always a good reason or huge mortgage increase,too much expensive work required. Trust me, unless you could buy a plot of land and design your own house,there are always compromises,do you ever watch Kirsty and Phil. I've had everything from a new build to Victorian. Moved with babies a few months old,4 kids, animals,we used to hire vans then and do everything ourselves. This move.... the downsize,last one,10 minutes from the sea,2 bedroom bungalow, village, meant to be the last one, but hum! Everywhere has negatives. I actually wrote lists,pros, cons. You wouldn't believe how many people say,"Ew, I couldn't live in a bungalow", who live in a ground floor flat, one is trying to move now, because the maintenance charges are absolutely eye watering. I personally would go for the lowest mortgage, I hate debt of any kind. It is horrendously stressful. As for the park, one round the corner,no teens living here. Got dogs never seen any dodgy people in there. Typical village, cricket there in summer. We have a 1960s build, open plan,I lust after the old character property in the old part of the village, would have loved 3 bedrooms,now the grandkids are older, but they are £100k out of our price range, I walk the dogs by,see one place we almost bought. The garden is really tiny, and it's in a walkway only,so a long way to carry your shopping, very glad we didn't buy it!
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Overwhelming votes for the park not being all it's cracked up to! That's helping tbh. We could have afforded more but there's such little choice. And even the doer uppers go way over. I'll need to stay off rightmove this spring 😂

We had a similar situation. Chose a smaller 4 bed than we could've bought because a) timing of it being ready and b) I convinced myself that the cheaper purchase was more security/ safer option.

I do regret it and wish we'd waited for the next house up if I'm honest. We could move now but it's such a faff.

Saying that I do love our house! It feels like home and I remind myself that we're just lucky to be "happy" and at the end of the day it's just a house. I feel greedy to complain.

Ime when a new park is built, people with small children, from outside the immediate area, flock to it...and cause issues with parking.

I know because I've been one of those PITA visitors 😬 There's a couple of times over the years a park has gone up on a new estate a couple of miles away and I've driven there with young dc to try somewhere new. I can specifically remember once, when parking (legally but still) thinking how pissed off I'd be if I was resident opposite, seeing all these cars parking right opposite your house every nice day.

You'll be so glad you've saved yourself this much money when the cost of multiple children mounts! Plus living in a mid-terrace is great for keeping a warm house. We did that too and our heating bill is tiny compared to our semi and detached friends. We also live beside a park. It's at the top of the street so we get dozens of children from the surrounding area walking past. They're not all nice children. 😩

All I am here to say is no way would I live opposite a park! There is a new build estate with one a few mins walk from us. The noise at the park reverberates off the houses surrounding it and it's so echoey. All you'll ever hear is kids screaming bouncing off your house. Don't do it!