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Original poster

Moving in a month, regret house purchase - HELP!

122 replies

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 13:43

We've bought a 3 bed terraced house in a gorgeous newbuild development in a seaside town. It was a resale. We were initially waiting on a 4 bed semi from the developer that wasn't available until the end of 2025 when this came up.

The lower, more affordable mortgage was attractive to us as we're just starting a family and have nursery fees starting this month for 2 / potentially 4 years if we have another. I also want to cut hours to 4 days, and I've recently decided to go down to 3 days for a time maybe next year.

The one we've bought has ample space and storage, in fact it's almost same size as the 4 bed, but I can't stop thinking what have I done? I think we got fed up waiting (been house hunting for 18 months now) and went for this. My husband is really happy and excited, and I feel sick. What's worse is the 4 bed we were waiting on looked on to a park they'll be building in the estate, which just sounds lovely. Also I'll be at that park all the time with my lo and have to walk past it.

I appreciate this is such a first world, pathetic problem. Still, I can't change how I feel. I feel sick, can't eat, I'm ruining a good thing by worrying about the fact I'll need to move again in a few years if we outgrow a 3 bed. I feel like an absolute idiot for doing this and now wish our buyers would pull out so we could just stay put!!

Looking for support, has anyone ever felt so hopeless right before a move? Did it work out did you get past the "what if"?

OP posts:
Tinselinthewhoopsiebasket · 09/01/2025 13:45

Living across form a park would be a living hell.... Dc would be nagging to go all the time and the dc there would be loud....
Your new home sounds great. Moving is daunting. Just moved myself... So stressed paid this month's rent twice yesterday!!

Cheeseandcrackers40 · 09/01/2025 13:48

From your post it sounds like you haven't exchanged yet? If not I would honestly consider pulling out, feeling sick about a purchase isn't a good sign. We were going to offer on a house last year but I got cold feet about the road being too busy. My husband wasn't best pleased but we went on to find our dream home and moved in just over a month ago. I'm so pleased we didn't buy the other house 🤷‍♀️

GiraLi · 09/01/2025 13:49

I agree parks can be great or awful. and you don't know from one month to the next what you will get. You want to prepare dinner, your children could be outside in your back garden where you can see them from the window and they want to go to the park instead.

Or teens at night hang out on the park and all summer long until 11pm there is noise, talking, shouting, playing music as speakers now fit in their pocket or just setting parts on fire.

This happens locally to us. The park is lovely but sometimes there are warnings on local facebook that someone has smeared dog shit on the slide or there is broken glass and then it gets reported and they have to come and clean it. I am glad I don't live overlooking it.

Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 13:55

@Cheeseandcrackers40 I know. I spoke to my husband but we've been packing the house, sorted childcare, sold our house, he was like I'm sorry but you're moving.
I think i should have pulled out a long time ago when I started to worry. I think when you've been searching so long for a house it gets harder, you make more compromises. We bid on a house at 120k more last year it was a gorgeous big detached and I'm wondering how I ended up in a 3 bed terraced. Saying that it needed a lot of work, and we argued about money all night after we offered and I thought, this isn't for us.
Interesting that maybe I've romanticised being opposite a park. Silver lining is the garden in the one we've bought is bigger. Plan is to build a garden room which we've factored in to costs and will do asap.

OP posts:
Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:02

@Tinselinthewhoopsiebasket it is so stressful! I totally underestimated it. I keep thinking it should feel better though, I should feel more positive about the house I'm moving to.

OP posts:
Cheeseandcrackers40 · 09/01/2025 14:03

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 13:55

@Cheeseandcrackers40 I know. I spoke to my husband but we've been packing the house, sorted childcare, sold our house, he was like I'm sorry but you're moving.
I think i should have pulled out a long time ago when I started to worry. I think when you've been searching so long for a house it gets harder, you make more compromises. We bid on a house at 120k more last year it was a gorgeous big detached and I'm wondering how I ended up in a 3 bed terraced. Saying that it needed a lot of work, and we argued about money all night after we offered and I thought, this isn't for us.
Interesting that maybe I've romanticised being opposite a park. Silver lining is the garden in the one we've bought is bigger. Plan is to build a garden room which we've factored in to costs and will do asap.

I know its a lot to unpick but until you have exchanged the fact is there is no commitment to move from anyone so I don't think it's fair of your OH to disregard your concerns? Just my thoughts! Houseselling and buying is such a complicated and stressful business I think you need to be all in when you do it...

Tinselinthewhoopsiebasket · 09/01/2025 14:05

My dd lived opposite a park when the younger siblings were still at home. We visited one Saturday and there was an incident on the park with a local lad.. Me and dh vowed not to live near any dc.... We lived 10 years peacefully in a street without dc!! Now moved and not seen any here either!! Bliss!! Dc playing out is very overrated.... Which opposite a park your dc will be nagging for that freedom well before you are ready for it... My youngest is 10 and never 'played out'..

Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:08

@Cheeseandcrackers40 I know. I should have been clearer earlier on. I don't even know if the developer would sell the 4 bed to us now, they probably would think we are flighty.
It is so much to unpick. There's no way he'd pull out, he's so motivated and packing up and painting our place etc in prep. It's a big lifestyle change for us so it will be a great move for us, and he can't stand our flat and is so excited. It'd just be an awful thing to do to everyone in the chain and him if I pulled the plug for reasons I knew all along. Nothings actually changed

OP posts:
Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:11

@Tinselinthewhoopsiebasket that helps! My friend just moved opposite a park and her wee one is constantly asking to go. She's only 2 though.
I'm also thinking how lovely it would have been to look at open green space. I totally looked past that and didn't realise how nice that could have been and also probably great for resale down the line.

OP posts:
Cornishbelle · 09/01/2025 14:14

You will be very grateful of the lower mortgage with nursery fees and reduced hours in the mix, and with a larger garden that is worth it's weight in gold. Just remember this doesn't have to be forever, then at least you can say you gave it a good go

Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:17

@Cornishbelle that's true and I have lost sight of that tbh. I think we'd have been fine in the bigger purchase but it would have cleaned us out. Our jobs are not overly secure right now, industry struggling. And I never knew I'd want to spend so much time with my lo and cut hours so much. I guess I should keep thinking about the options I've given myself by not over stretching.
I just keep wondering if we should have stretched more because we could have stayed longer, and now I've learnt how AWFUL moving with kids is

OP posts:
Tupster · 09/01/2025 14:19

Realistically, the house that would have cost you more is always going to be objectively a "better" house, so you are always going to feel miserable if you compare the houses side by side. You really need to focus on what made you choose the option you did, which was the reduced costs, which is what going to give you additional freedom to alter your working hours, confidence to be able to expand your family without worrying about financial implications etc. Try to think about those things that are all part of the choices you've made, rather than just focussing on what you've compromised on in order to get those big benefits.

LostittoBostik · 09/01/2025 14:23

It takes a while for a new house to feel like a home.
Sounds like this one was lower cost than you could absorb, so move in, do your best to settle and if in two years you hate it then you can put it on the market.
If you're planning another DC you'll be pretty preoccupied in those years anyway.
It took me a full 18 months to feel settled in our home. We had left unsuitable flat for a house that needed a lot of work and it took me ages to feel comfortable but I love it now

Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:24

@Tupster that's true. It's particularly biting me because we had been chatting to the developer about it etc. We'd decided we could afford it. Although that was before I decided I wanted to cut hours, it would have been verrrrry tight in that house to cut hours.
My husband also didn't want to try for another until we were settled, I'm over 35 and waiting another year seemed silly! So I was keen to get that ball rolling too.
I'm an over planner and you can't control so many things as a parent / adult and I'm struggling with it so much.

OP posts:
Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:25

LostittoBostik · 09/01/2025 14:23

It takes a while for a new house to feel like a home.
Sounds like this one was lower cost than you could absorb, so move in, do your best to settle and if in two years you hate it then you can put it on the market.
If you're planning another DC you'll be pretty preoccupied in those years anyway.
It took me a full 18 months to feel settled in our home. We had left unsuitable flat for a house that needed a lot of work and it took me ages to feel comfortable but I love it now

What do you mean lower cost sorry?

OP posts:
Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:26

I think we are all programmed to stretch stretch stretch but the past 5 years have been so wild, and stretching is scary when you don't know if or when you'll have another baby, if you'll both keep your jobs etc etc

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LostittoBostik · 09/01/2025 14:27

Also: definitely better not to be in a house that needs lots of work right now as materials and labour are sky high and rising. We had £100k aside to do a renovation (only cosmetic, not including an extension or anything) and we've spent almost all of it and the kitchen still isn't replaced!!!!!!!!

Admittedly we've refloored, plastered a whole house, two bathrooms replaced. But carpets alone were £11k and another £9k on wooden flooring downstairs on top of that. Plus a whole load of hidden plumbing and electric issues

MrsSkylerWhite · 09/01/2025 14:28

Our park is full of teens most evenings. They’re completely harmless but pretty noisy.

Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 14:30

LostittoBostik · 09/01/2025 14:27

Also: definitely better not to be in a house that needs lots of work right now as materials and labour are sky high and rising. We had £100k aside to do a renovation (only cosmetic, not including an extension or anything) and we've spent almost all of it and the kitchen still isn't replaced!!!!!!!!

Admittedly we've refloored, plastered a whole house, two bathrooms replaced. But carpets alone were £11k and another £9k on wooden flooring downstairs on top of that. Plus a whole load of hidden plumbing and electric issues

Woah. We were put off renovating because turns out having a baby is hard! We're exhausted, we've had various health things going on, we've had issues with our neighbours here, it just felt like we needed to make a serious lifestyle change to a more positive environment. Obviously now it's come around I wish I could just stay as that feels easier right now 😂
Your house will be so worth it when you get it finished. I envy you! I wish we had the energy to do something like that

OP posts:
twohotwaterbottles · 09/01/2025 14:36

I imagine maybe 'moving house' stress is getting to you. A three bed for the size family you are now is spot on and you still have room to grow. I manage the anti social behaviour team in the council and believe me, living next to a park, greenway, open space can be very problematic. You'll be happy as when you've moved I'm sure ☺️

Jewell25 · 09/01/2025 14:38

I would not go for a 3 bed terraced if you can afford a detached. Neighbour noise can be horrendous in new builds. I’d pull out.

HellofromJohnCraven · 09/01/2025 14:40

Just reframe it.
It's the ideal house for the next 5 years. It's big enough, it's affordable, it's available. It will more than likely keep it's value
In 5 years time your ideas about what you want and need ( ie secondary school catchments) might be different.
You will be able to breathe and sleep at night.

Original poster
NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 15:00

It is the ideal house for the next 5 years! The primary is amazing, the secondary isn't. We always planned to move again for secondary, to be in the catchment for a great secondary that her cousins go to. It was just too far out the city / to commute with a baby just now. I'm doubting the whole plan. I envy my friends who have just bought in a catchment for a good primary and secondary and don't ever plan to move again. That's much easier to do in a city though

OP posts:
orangegato · 09/01/2025 15:02

Fuck living across from a park. Screaming kids, loitering and balls kicked at your car/house no thank you.

good96 · 09/01/2025 15:19

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 13:43

We've bought a 3 bed terraced house in a gorgeous newbuild development in a seaside town. It was a resale. We were initially waiting on a 4 bed semi from the developer that wasn't available until the end of 2025 when this came up.

The lower, more affordable mortgage was attractive to us as we're just starting a family and have nursery fees starting this month for 2 / potentially 4 years if we have another. I also want to cut hours to 4 days, and I've recently decided to go down to 3 days for a time maybe next year.

The one we've bought has ample space and storage, in fact it's almost same size as the 4 bed, but I can't stop thinking what have I done? I think we got fed up waiting (been house hunting for 18 months now) and went for this. My husband is really happy and excited, and I feel sick. What's worse is the 4 bed we were waiting on looked on to a park they'll be building in the estate, which just sounds lovely. Also I'll be at that park all the time with my lo and have to walk past it.

I appreciate this is such a first world, pathetic problem. Still, I can't change how I feel. I feel sick, can't eat, I'm ruining a good thing by worrying about the fact I'll need to move again in a few years if we outgrow a 3 bed. I feel like an absolute idiot for doing this and now wish our buyers would pull out so we could just stay put!!

Looking for support, has anyone ever felt so hopeless right before a move? Did it work out did you get past the "what if"?

Sounds like you haven’t exchanged (have only read the first post) so you could pull out now…
OR - proceed with the sale and move in a few years time, house values generally increase and you could find yourself climbing that ladder quicker.

Living by a park albeit convenient with your LO will be a living nightmare with kids constantly screaming, risk of footballs going through your window and your LO wanting to always be there…