Page 2 | Moving in a month, regret house purchase - HELP!

NattyBeaker · 2025-01-09T13:43:17+00:00

We've bought a 3 bed terraced house in a gorgeous newbuild development in a seaside town. It was a resale. We were initially waiting on a 4 bed semi from the developer that wasn't available until the end of 2025 when this came up. The lower, more affordable mortgage was attractive to us as we're just starting a family and have nursery fees starting this month for 2 / potentially 4 years if we have another. I also want to cut hours to 4 days, and I've recently decided to go down to 3 days for a time maybe next year. The one we've bought has ample space and storage, in fact it's almost same size as the 4 bed, but I can't stop thinking what have I done? I think we got fed up waiting (been house hunting for 18 months now) and went for this. My husband is really happy and excited, and I feel sick. What's worse is the 4 bed we were waiting on looked on to a park they'll be building in the estate, which just sounds lovely. Also I'll be at that park all the time with my lo and have to walk past it. I appreciate this is such a first world, pathetic problem. Still, I can't change how I feel. I feel sick, can't eat, I'm ruining a good thing by worrying about the fact I'll need to move again in a few years if we outgrow a 3 bed. I feel like an absolute idiot for doing this and now wish our buyers would pull out so we could just stay put!! Looking for support, has anyone ever felt so hopeless right before a move? Did it work out did you get past the "what if"?

ThirdStorm · 09/01/2025 15:25

I brought a new build, outgrew it within 12 months and part-exchanged with the developer for a larger place. It worked out perfectly really and I didn't loose any money. My timing was great though - it was October-December which was year end for my developer. I did however love my original home, and I could have stayed there longer but another larger place came up so it was meant to be - I moved across the road! Good luck.

devilspawn · 09/01/2025 15:31

Jewell25 · 09/01/2025 14:38

I would not go for a 3 bed terraced if you can afford a detached. Neighbour noise can be horrendous in new builds. I’d pull out.

they will be the ones making the noise, we've just had a kid move in next door to us and after hearing nothing at all from next door for 20 years, it now constantly sounds like a herd of elephants rampaging. our dining table even shakes from it sometimes despite being nowhere near the wall. god knows what she's doing.

Original poster

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 15:51

ThirdStorm · 09/01/2025 15:25

I brought a new build, outgrew it within 12 months and part-exchanged with the developer for a larger place. It worked out perfectly really and I didn't loose any money. My timing was great though - it was October-December which was year end for my developer. I did however love my original home, and I could have stayed there longer but another larger place came up so it was meant to be - I moved across the road! Good luck.

That's great! I guess I thought I'd already be in and have decorated etc and it'd be too much upheaval to move again. Who knows what will happen!

OP posts:

JustCuttinAboot · 09/01/2025 15:52

I think the one you have chosen is perfect / parks attract drunken teens!

Original poster

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 16:17

JustCuttinAboot · 09/01/2025 15:52

I think the one you have chosen is perfect / parks attract drunken teens!

Do they though even in little affluent villages?? Maybe. Also wondering if you'd ever be able to open your blinds because it's a very "visible" home. God knows what people would see 😂
Love the name btw

OP posts:

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 09/01/2025 16:43

So you chose 3 beds for
lower, more affordable mortgage
ability to start a family / have a second child immediately
cover nursery fees
AND
cut your working hours to 4 or even 3 days imminently.
AND you get a larger garden than the 4 bed and have the wherewithal to build a garden room for purposes unknown, but an office at the bottom of the garden is going to be a lot easier to work from with one or two toddlers rushing around.

That's an awful lot of stuff to give up for an extra bedroom you don't need for quite a while? Especially with the economy in the absolute doldrums.

You've done the right thing. Make the secondary school house your forever home. That way when you think about 3/4 days you are also thinking about how much money the two of you can set aside over the next 10 yrs to buy it.

Original poster

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 19:14

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 09/01/2025 16:43

So you chose 3 beds for
lower, more affordable mortgage
ability to start a family / have a second child immediately
cover nursery fees
AND
cut your working hours to 4 or even 3 days imminently.
AND you get a larger garden than the 4 bed and have the wherewithal to build a garden room for purposes unknown, but an office at the bottom of the garden is going to be a lot easier to work from with one or two toddlers rushing around.

That's an awful lot of stuff to give up for an extra bedroom you don't need for quite a while? Especially with the economy in the absolute doldrums.

You've done the right thing. Make the secondary school house your forever home. That way when you think about 3/4 days you are also thinking about how much money the two of you can set aside over the next 10 yrs to buy it.

Thank you what a lovely positive spin on it. That's all the reasons we did this, and the ability to get moving out there ASAP. I keep just looking at the negatives and what's it's not got and I know that's stupid but I can't seem to stop my brain going that way. Meanwhile my husband is stressing someone is going to pull out in the chain. I think I'd feel a little relieved if they did which I don't think is healthy tbh. Maybe because it'd mean I could just stop packing and move the problem, moving would be hard whenever we did it probably

OP posts:

Papricat · 09/01/2025 22:51

A man was literally living in the park in front of my ex flat, shouting at night.

garlictwist · 09/01/2025 22:58

We bought a cheaper house below our budget and I'm so glad we did. Our mortgage repayments are currently only £300 a month (although we did get a low interest rate so that will change) but it means I just never stress about affording the house and we can afford it on one salsry if the worst comes to the worst. Don't underestimate affordability.

It's also much better to have a bigger garden than be opposite a park as you can just chuck your kid out on a nice day and not worry about it.

mumda · 09/01/2025 23:00

Living close to a park is awful when it's not used as it should. And it will be. Youths will congregate and even if they're nice kids it's noise and tension.

Your new house will be fine.

Thecatspjymas · 09/01/2025 23:03

Living next to a play area is definitely a downside!

Allatseas · 09/01/2025 23:18

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 09/01/2025 16:43

So you chose 3 beds for
lower, more affordable mortgage
ability to start a family / have a second child immediately
cover nursery fees
AND
cut your working hours to 4 or even 3 days imminently.
AND you get a larger garden than the 4 bed and have the wherewithal to build a garden room for purposes unknown, but an office at the bottom of the garden is going to be a lot easier to work from with one or two toddlers rushing around.

That's an awful lot of stuff to give up for an extra bedroom you don't need for quite a while? Especially with the economy in the absolute doldrums.

You've done the right thing. Make the secondary school house your forever home. That way when you think about 3/4 days you are also thinking about how much money the two of you can set aside over the next 10 yrs to buy it.

I agree with this.

Original poster

NattyBeaker · 09/01/2025 23:39

garlictwist · 09/01/2025 22:58

We bought a cheaper house below our budget and I'm so glad we did. Our mortgage repayments are currently only £300 a month (although we did get a low interest rate so that will change) but it means I just never stress about affording the house and we can afford it on one salsry if the worst comes to the worst. Don't underestimate affordability.

It's also much better to have a bigger garden than be opposite a park as you can just chuck your kid out on a nice day and not worry about it.

This is why I did it initially! But I've lost sight of that now, now I just wish I'd stretched so I never have to move again as it's so awful 😂
I think if I'd bought two years ago I'd have stretched way further but that was before I had done a proper budget, also my job was very safe back then. I guess I just feel a bit put out that market instability and high rates has meant we've decided to pull back the mortgage size we want considerably. I should see it as a positive and not a negative.
If we'd gone big I'd probably be sitting here stressing about the % of our payments that were interest only. We wouldn't be able to save or overpay either until nursery was over.
Turns out kids dials back your risk appetite considerably!

OP posts:

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 09/01/2025 23:57

Packing is a wonderful opportunity to get rid of stuff you never use. Be ruthless and your new home will feel MASSIVE 😉

Ariela · 10/01/2025 00:16

Friend of mine has moved to a flat overlooking a park with a large play area - a sort of irregular square of houses, flats and maisonettes, overlooking the (reasonable sized) park itself. Her flat isn't the nearest to the play area, but she has a balcony that looks out over the park. I can honestly say having visited this summer I wouldn't sit out on the balcony other than for an early morning breakfast for the shrieks and noise do drown out your chit chat.... it attracts kids from the entire development of several hundred properties not just the square, and they play football etc if not using the play equipment. Her car has got hit a few times from badly kicked balls and I think she is relieved they've not discovered cricket....

I would be glad NOT to live there!

HollyIvie · 10/01/2025 00:29

Same thing happened to me last year.
We had the choice between a detached 4 bed gorgeous house we fell in love with and a 3 bed house - same estate.
Due to massive change in the interest rates and an unexpected change with my job we felt we had to go with the 3 bed sensible option in the end.
I have to walk past the 4 bed house every day!
However a year on I'm really glad we went with the sensible choice in the end. Mortgage fees, nursery fees, and other outgoings are affordable and we have more money to spend on holidays and treats for the kids. We'll probably move in about 5 years but will be in a much better place financially with reduced childcare fees, being able to work full time once the kids are older, and will be able to make it work. It's usual to get cold feet but the 3 bed sounds ideal for now!

BettyBardMacDonald · 10/01/2025 00:32

Very very few people get exactly what they want in any scenario. Don't ruin this with outsize expectations. You are getting a lovely home near the seaside.

As to outgrowing it, that is within your control.

Purplete · 10/01/2025 00:33

Currently going through a similar situation. I haven’t got any advice yet as still figuring it out myself but wanted to reply as I can understand where you are coming from.

Floralnomad · 10/01/2025 01:17

Parks definitely attract nuisance teens , even in affluent areas and particularly in villages because there is often nowhere else for them to hang out. It is also much better to not overstretch your finances when you have small children , you want money to enjoy yourself / your family . The larger garden will be where your child spends its time as you really wouldn’t want to constantly be in a park .

Wishitwasstraightforward · 10/01/2025 03:04

Sometimes the grass seems greener over whatever side of the fence you find yourself on OP.

FWIW I think reducing the risk of having financial risks and worries can be priceless, especially when you have a young family.

A big garden is a huge plus with DC. We are in the dead of winter atm, so maybe the benefits of garden space are more easily overlooked but wait until spring and you will get the picture.

I also think to some extent many of us expand our "stuff" to fill whatever space we have. So the larger home wouldn't solve the issue of having too much stuff or frustrating clutter. As a PP said the answer lies in being smart about not having too much stuff in the first place- easier said than done admittedly.

Original poster

NattyBeaker · 10/01/2025 08:46

HollyIvie · 10/01/2025 00:29

Same thing happened to me last year.
We had the choice between a detached 4 bed gorgeous house we fell in love with and a 3 bed house - same estate.
Due to massive change in the interest rates and an unexpected change with my job we felt we had to go with the 3 bed sensible option in the end.
I have to walk past the 4 bed house every day!
However a year on I'm really glad we went with the sensible choice in the end. Mortgage fees, nursery fees, and other outgoings are affordable and we have more money to spend on holidays and treats for the kids. We'll probably move in about 5 years but will be in a much better place financially with reduced childcare fees, being able to work full time once the kids are older, and will be able to make it work. It's usual to get cold feet but the 3 bed sounds ideal for now!

This is so good to read. I've got so far in my own head about this! Doubting everything. I thought this must happen a lot in newbuild estates when you're "picking" a house then walking past the ones you didn't! Interesting living at the park is maybe not all it's cracked up to be.
We will probably move in 5 or 6 years too and I think that's the bit I'm struggling with, I envy friends that have just bought and never plan to move again! I was also worrying the bigger house would go up way more in value than my 3 bed terraced. Who knows though, it's a very sought after development, great transport, and once nursery finishes we'll be putting all that in overpayment so we should be in a great position in a few years either way. This way I guess we can have a bit more leeway if another comes along! My husband is so much happier with this option too.

OP posts:

WittyOchreBird · 10/01/2025 09:25

An alternative perspective - my sister bought a new build on a new estate around the corner from what was going to be a beautiful big park with playing fields and an orchard. Once they finished building all the houses the developer disappeared - this was years ago and the people who nabbed the properties with park views are still living opposite an overgrown field with (if memory serves) a half built rotting playground and heaps of earth / fencing everywhere. Apparently they still plan to build the park at some point…

so you might actually not be missing anything at all!

Original poster

NattyBeaker · 10/01/2025 10:16

Wishitwasstraightforward · 10/01/2025 03:04

Sometimes the grass seems greener over whatever side of the fence you find yourself on OP.

FWIW I think reducing the risk of having financial risks and worries can be priceless, especially when you have a young family.

A big garden is a huge plus with DC. We are in the dead of winter atm, so maybe the benefits of garden space are more easily overlooked but wait until spring and you will get the picture.

I also think to some extent many of us expand our "stuff" to fill whatever space we have. So the larger home wouldn't solve the issue of having too much stuff or frustrating clutter. As a PP said the answer lies in being smart about not having too much stuff in the first place- easier said than done admittedly.

Thanks for this. We've been so used to disposable income and losing that seems fine but in practice I think it'd be an impossible adjustment for us!! It seems so many people go straight to a forever home now from their starter home but I think it used to be more common to upside a couple of times?
Definitely trying to shed lots of stuff we don't need. We have one lo and she has far too much stuff already!
I was just thinking how lovely a trip away would be once we're settled. Couldn't do that in the bigger one! For a while anyway

OP posts:

Alleycat50 · 10/01/2025 10:18

As the kids get older they’ll all congregate at the park. I think you are better off where you are!

LindaDawn · 10/01/2025 10:28

Really feel for you. It’s horrible to be feeling as you do. I think many people experience this kind of doubt when buying a house.
Maybe jot the positives on a piece of paper.

The ones I think of are as follows:
it’s almost the same size as the 4 bedroom house and has plenty of room and storage for your needs.
The park that is opposite could become a hang out for teenagers and be a real nuisance.
You will have much more disposable income which will be lovely to give your kids lots of experiences as they are growing up.
You will have more money to really enjoy any maternity leave.
To reduce your days working will be great as you will have more time with your children as the grow up so fast these days.
The big big plus I feel is that if you eventually move for secondary schools I think you will find it easier to sell your 3 bedroom house to a FTB than a 4 bedroom house as it’s cheaper and hopefully will mean a shorter chain.
Also another big big plus will be that in the years before you move again you can really take your time to find out what you really want/need in your forever home. IE layout, no of rooms, location etc. Schools can change over time so move again nearer to the time when you will need the secondary school.
Finally your bigger garden is such a huge plus. That should make it such a big selling point in the future.
Please don’t be hard on yourself. Thinking of you and take care.