Buyer demanding move date

[Britanix]

We were due to move in August but bottom of the chains buyers pulled out , they found a new buyer in September so chain was back on. During this time the house we are buying lost the one they wanted, they had an offer accepted early October - we are now part of an 11 house chain !!
Yesterday our buyer said she needs to be in by the end of November or she's pulling out , clearly this is not feasible. It turns out she has always wanted this but we have never been told , we have also found out her day of move needs to be the same day as her ex husbands effectively meaning that house has two chains. Apparently the latest her and ex can move is 10 Dec which still feels unfeasible considering the chain only reset in October .
To add to the stress I'm pregnant meant to be on bed rest with a short cervix and other issues I'm in the hospital every week, we are relocating over 3 hours away and also have to move my DS school he's in reception . Obviously if we had moved August we wouldn't have had these problems.

I feel like just pulling the whole thing our buyer has told us we will have to move in with family or rented which we can't do . I feel like pulling the whole thing , the only thing stopping me is the house we are buying and the person selling it is doing all she can.
Has anyone been in such a long chain and it moved quickly ?
Just here for a rant really.

Thanks everyone for the support/advice.

@Iliketulips there are six new houses in the chain, and that's not including whatever is going on with the ex husbands chain . Apparently they are living together still and need both chains to move on the same day .

I'm going to call the EA now and say we are willing to loose her as a buyer and go back on the market next year so it's up to her what she wants to do so can she make a decision asap. Although they did say they told her to go back to the solicitors as she was being abusive to them

It's not really unreasonable IMO for a buyer to want to know exactly when it is all going to happen.

OTHO in house buying generally people look after themselves.

Ultimately to me the only problem is when someone is being deliberately disingenuous. For example telling them that a particular date can happen in the full knowledge that it actually can't, or withholding information deliberately in the full knowledge that what the other party wants is impossible.

Sounds like a good move on your part OP. I imagine your buyer is also stressed trying to complete 2 houses on the same day - therefore she's the one that needs to suck it up and go into rented. If she pulls out then she's still in the same situation, well worse really because she's got to start from scratch. I still can't get over an 11 chain move, how on earth do you all complete the same day - would hate to be the last house in the chain!

Just found out her ex is buying with a chain which has an extra 5 houses in it . So that means 16 houses all need to move on the same day...
I cannot believe she didn't mention when asked about her chain about her ex ! It's getting worse .

From what I'm being told it seems her and her ex have not told thier buyers about the other one having a chain. We genuinely had no idea the ex ex was involved until yesterday

I also don't understand how neither estate agent realised this

16! Yeah, fuck that.

She needs to suck it up and go into rented to break the chain.

Not your problem OP and you don’t need to move heaven and earth. If she pulls out then you can assess if you want to remarket but fully agree with you not going into rented in your circumstances. If the city you’re moving to is anything like Bristol then the rental market is savage and you’ll pay through the nose for something short term, assuming you can actually find anything.

Fuck that.

I'd find a new buyer - with her huge chain, she's in zero position to be demanding anything.

Just a quick update. Turns out in the ex husbands chain someone needs to move by the end of November for tax reasons or they are saying they can't move at all. What a mess

@Britanix The situation is too stressful with a high-risk pregnancy.

Walk away my love xxx

Yeh I think here you need to say 'im sorry that wasn't communicated with us and it just isn't possible for us. (Date) is much more achieveable. We are not able to rent due to our circumstances. Please let us know whether you wish to continue with the purchase or whether we should instruct our estate agent to remarket'

She's not finding anywhere she can buy this year now. It's a shame she's working towards that date but it's not your fault. She can rent if she wants or pull out. These aren't in your control.

@Britanix it sounds like it can’t complete by the end of November? It’s possibly the worst chain I’ve heard of! Agree with others you need to stay put and remarket if need be. I cannot see a chain of 16 all completing- but I’d be happy to be proven wrong.

A chain of 16 will never happen or it will take a very very long time. In your shoes I'd sit tight, have the baby and then reevaluate things. Way too much stress there!

I would prioritise your health and keeping your stress levels low. I wouldn't pull out but I would tell your buyer you can not be out by the end of November, you can be out by X date, and let her (and her ex) decide what to do.

Truthfully the whole chain sounds almost certain to collapse regardless of anything you do or don't do, so I wouldn't be making any desperate moves to save it.

Could you get back in touch with the person who made the other offer? They might not have found something yet. I wouldn’t subject myself to that level of pressure while pregnant. There might be a ftb who can work with your timescales out there.

Really there’s no moral imperative for anyone to be the one who breaks the chain by moving into rental. Everyone has to decide for themselves what their red lines are and if the chain collapses so be it. We were downsizing and lost a buyer because of how long it was taking completely fair but we were upfront that we would only move once we had found something and would not be moving into rental. Everyone must decide for themselves what works for them.

I would also tell your buyer that you cannot move at the end of November and see what happens. My buyer said she would pull out if we did not complete by a certain day as she had to be out of her rental. I said I could not possibly empty the house by that day (I was in NZ and Mum's house was in UK) but would give her a token 750 GPB to complete on such and such date. Apparently, this made all the difference and she was able to stay in her rental until that date --- funny that, but it was the best 750 I have ever spent.

Don't let her dictate to you, let her pull out and try and find another house to move into at the end of November - but above all, look after yourself.

The UK house sale/purchase has to be the worst system for both buyers and sellers - bloody ridiculous that it is still done in this way.

Above everything else - take care of yourself and your baby, please.

That should inform what you do - do not be bullied or coerced.

The rest is detail.

Second this thought, and if the sale is too stressful for you I'd take the house off the market and try again next year if possible. You have to prioritise your and baby's health. Your buyer sounds like a nightmare