Still hate my new home after 16 months

[Mumof52]

I moved 16 months ago and the day I moved I regretted it! I hate the street hate the larger mortgage hate the fact lots still needs doing. I’m not sure I’ll ever settle here anyone else felt like this?

I relate, we're moving again after only a year. We hate the environment, area, the whole thing has been once giant mistake.
Can you move again?

We bought from someone like you OP. They hated it so much, they sold the house to us before the Land Registry had recorded their purchase. If you really hate it that much, sell it.

Sell it if you’re not happy.
My friend purchased a house in February 2021, it was back on the market in May 2021 - after a shooting on the next road….
It sold for 30k more than they brought it for and they had only repainted bedrooms and replaced carpet in that time!
Bonkers!

Why did you want to move there? Buyers remorse seems quite common - why did you like it then but not now? I'm fascinated because I want to move but our house is lovely so I'm scared of buyers remorse.

@Nextdoor55 I would but my husband is not so keen! I just knew as soon as we walked through the door it was a massive mistake! Have you sold again yet?

@BrigadierEtienneGerard thank you I’m working on my husband as think I’ve given it long enough…

@BrigadierEtienneGerard thank you! I think I’ll continue to work on my husband. It’s just a shame stamp duty is so expensive!

@good96 i know it’s a shame it wasn’t a year earlier or i think we may have made money!

Is there anything you can do to make it nicer for you? There must be some reasons you bought it!

I still don’t love my house 5 years on, but H doesn’t want to move as it works for us as a family, and stamp duty is too much. I have done what I can to make bits of the house and garden work for me, and try and focus on the positives (so close to station rather than noisy; lots of space as DC grow up rather than big cold and crafty), and just keep repeating the good reasons to yourself.

Utimately, when we move again, I now know what I value and what should be top of my list, but buying property is always going to be a compromise unless you’re super rich!

As long as you’re certain it genuinely is the house and not a symptom of wider issues then I would just sell up, cut your losses and start again (if financially you can). Life is too short.

If you really can’t afford to move then I’d be changing my philosophical outlook, and start focusing on what I’m grateful for (to even own a house, to be safe etc etc) and what you could do to make the experience there more enjoyable.

Also really Interested what it was that you realised on moving in that you weren’t aware of running up to buying it ? What will you do / find out
next time to make sure you don’t make the same mistake again?

@Userxyd we moved to be closer to my parents then we lost our buyer then another house we had found fell through and we brought this. The house is ok if I could pick it up and move it but I don’t like the street. I didn’t notice until we moved in but the neighbour opposite has a rotten filthy car on his drive it’s declared off road since 2019! It bugs the hell out of me! Another neighbour has a massive lorry that definitely wasn’t here when we viewed twice! The house was filthy when we moved in! I had spent days cleaning my old house! I even had cleaners come in to wash the woodwork down! If you’re looking at moving view it at least 3 times at different times of day! Walk up and down the street look at everything get a good feel for things! I wanted to come back for a 3rd viewing yet my husband said it was unnecessary I wish I had as I would definitely have pulled out! Good luck I’m sure not many people get it as wrong as I have!

We moved for more room and investment, and ended up in one of four roads we'd constantly had our eye on. I don't we realised what a wrench it would be moving from our old home and neighbours who were in tears. Nothing wrong with our current one, but both agree we could just walk back in old one and it'd be home.

We're still here ten years later. It's certainly a good flexible home, road is quiet, neighbours nice enough and in an area we love. We've decorated, gutted garden - was literally grass and gravel. In some ways we'd still like to move, but just can't afford what we want. DH just retired so we have money for improvements, have replaced the leaky roof which really hasn't helped, and I think a new bathroom, kitchen, flooring will finally make it our own.

We bought our first home last year and I felt like this - from the moment we walked in on completion day I knew we’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. The stress and pressure of it was awful, it’s not like a rental where you can just choose not to renew.

I had a thread on here and got responses from two clear camps - people who said buyers remorse was totally normal (but this was beyond what was normal) and people who’d experienced similar.

Posters told me we couldn’t sell within the first year or two as people would be suspicious. I’m glad I didn’t believe them…

6 months after completion (the amount of time most mortgage lenders want a house to be owned before they’ll lend to a buyer on it, because of money laundering regs) we got some estate agents round to value and put it on the market just to see what happened as no cost to us if it didn’t sell.

We sold in a week, to the very first person who viewed, and had about four other viewings in that time despite the slow market. We accepted slightly less than what we paid, but we’ve also paid less for our new house.

I’ve felt no buyers remorse at all since we moved. Sure we’ve found problems and things we didn’t notice, but I feel so different about them than I did in the other house. I’m glad I ignored the people who said the way I felt was normal (it wasn’t) and that buyers would be too suspicious (they weren’t). Your wrong house will be right for someone else, when the time is right for you.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself. I found this a very lonely experience - it’s hard to confide in others because ‘I bought the wrong house’ sounds like first world problems, but personally it caused a serious relapse of depression for me and at the time it felt insurmountable. So take care, whatever you do or don’t do.

Do you already have an idea of which area/street you'd like better? I think if you speak to your husband with a plan of what you'd like to do, with the move costed up etc he would be more willing to consider...

I know what you mean, OP - these 'little' things like old cars or junk on your street really add up and would wind me up every time I saw them! It sounds like you're not happy with a lot of aspects of the house.
Could you compromise a bit - eg look for a smaller property but more modern and on a nicer street?

definitely don't feel bad about this – these things happen!

@Mumof52 the house being filthy when you moved in is a pain but won’t last long? Any street might have neighbours with annoying vehicles at some time as people come and go. Best to just ignore what you can’t control

We moved last year to a modern house. I don't like the style but the area is quiet. I have done nothing. I will have a new kitchen this year or early next.
I would hold on for two years if I were you. If people sell too quickly it does look like there is something wrong.
FWIW I may sell next year to downsize. I think there is nothing wrong with looking and building a plan.

@Sunnyside4 oh it sounds like you definitely made the right decision though snd seem so happy with it now.

OP, it might help to separate the things that are really problems (eg the massive lorry sounds like it might be) and the things that are harder because of those problems but would be ok in the right house (our new house was pretty filthy when we moved in but we didn’t care as we love this one).

We made a list of everything we hated about this house and worked out the real dealbreakers for when we looked again.

@duckduckswimming thank you! Oh that’s exactly how I felt just massive regrets! I even had our local MP knock pre election told him if he could move the rotten car he would have my vote! ( he was going to get my vote anyway 🤣) Things like that irritate the hell out of me I find it antisocial.
I think you’re right it’s time to go and move on!
I am glad I am not the only one who feels like this. I hope you’re really happy in your new home.

Oh, one other thing. We’d put down a 25% deposit so had a mortgage rate based on a 75% LTV. When we enquired about porting the mortgage, we found they’d let us keep the rate regardless of whether we actually had 25% equity in the new house. So we took some equity out to cover stamp duty, estate agents etc rather than finding the cash for this.

edited to add: not sure if this will be true with all lenders but it was with ours.

Thank you my husband says 2 years which I guess is less time than I’ve been here.

Our mortgage can be ported so should hopefully keep the rate we have 2 mortgage as we ported one from our old house and then took a top up to cover the extra for this property so fingers crossed! I’m tempted just ti get it valued to see what’s what as we’ve painted skimmed ceilings and laid new floors downstairs so hopefully it may have made a bit! 🤞

Hmmm that’s a hard one as I would like the bathrooms done but obviously they are expensive to do and don’t have the money to do them without borrowing or finance.
5 years is such a long time you are so good I do try to see the positives but then at least once every month I just hate it and want to leave! I know that sounds spoilt but it just makes me so sad.

I totally agree though when I move I will be way more vigilant and picky about getting everything right!

See, this is the kind of advice that nearly put me off trying to sell quickly. But we found buyers didn’t really care.

We were in a sought after area though (for reasons I now cannot fathom, it was awful!)