Is it normal to settle for a home you don't like?

[Namedrop000]

We're FTBs. We've been patiently saving for many years for our first home. But there's just nothing on the market at the moment? The places we've seen fit none of our (pretty modest!) needs, and have been in terrible condition. We don't have the cash for big renovations.

We've been looking for about a year and prices are going up, so I think we just need to buy something we don't even like just as a stopgap so we're on the ladder, and have somewhere to live. Is this normal? We were hoping to buy a very long term home that we actually had a fairly good feeling about, but seems like that's unrealistic.

I find it hard to stomach spending 400k+ on something I don't even like or care about and would be embarrassed to invite friends or family over to.

OK I had sympathy previously, but that's just daft. I don't particularly like pebbledash either but lived very happily in a terrace with pebble dash in a lovely area for many years.

Don’t let pebble dash put you off, that can be sorted if it bothers you. Some houses are built looking lovely but others often evolve from ugly ducking to swan over time.

Focus on the bones of the house and location . A leaking roof does not always mean it needs a replacement though it might. Wall mounted light switches do not always mean a full rewire , they can be chased in and fuse box upgraded. Old double glazed windows can have just have the glass replaced though not always,

Damp doesn’t always mean a huge problem, it can be lack of heating and ventilation. Or a chimney pot needs capping off, the pointing failed in places, someone has built up a concrete path or a flower bed higher than it should be.

I think it's fair enough that pebbledash is a particular hatred of yours @Namedrop000 you shouldn't feel you have to compromise on that imo. But you do seem rather unrealistic in other ways like insisting that house prices are increasing in the SE. That's a huge area you are generalising about - they may well be rising in some parts of the SE but will be falling or stagnating in others so perhaps you need to widen your search area?

I understand your reasons for wanting a house as you have children but I also think if you can't afford what you want you will need to look at smaller houses or even flats if you want to find something you like in good condition within your budget. Or widen your search area as already suggested.

My first flat was all I could afford- a 1 bedroom ground floor flat in a conversion of a house. It had a sitting room, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. It was incredibly dated, grubby and needed a new kitchen, bathroom, gas fire and carpets and total redecoration and some damp work at the back.

I painted the front door and the sitting room- it had a lovely high ceiling and cornice and ceiling rose, painted the floorboards and put a rug down, papered the bedroom and bought a new carpet and painted the bathroom and had some tiling done. I made curtains. I tidied the front garden and painted the stone ontop of the wall and the stone of the bay window. I cleaned and cleaned.

It wasn't ideal but it was mine. It didn't cost a lot to do that work. I sold it two years later for twice what I bought it for.

It was 22 years ago. Someone like me bought it, I bought a house.

My point is it gave me a start.

Hone is where the heart is as they say.Get the location right,and you'll soon get to like where you live.

It does still work like that but very much relies on making choices when younger. You’re older than me op, I bought in my twenties in the south east after going without and saving for a good number of years to get on the property ladder. We bought a small 2 bed that needed work as that was what we could afford. No we didn’t love it but it was fine. We had our first DC in it then moved before our second DC. You do have to be realistic, you’re not going to jump straight in to a done up family sized home in the south east straight off unless you have a very large deposit or family help. In your position I would but what you can afford, even if smaller then you want, as it’s only going to get harder to buy as you get older and at 40 you’re already looking at reduced mortgage terms..

How much choice on location do you have? Not necessarily an unsafe area but can you move to a cheaper part of the SE altogether? Different people have different priorities, so family close by might be more important than house size, for example.

We got a new 25 year mortgage at 45. You absolutely don’t need reduced terms at 40!

I sympathise with the general issue OP but you lost me at pebbledash- its hardly a life or death compromise. You wont even see it when you're in the house!

25 years is reduced for a ftb nowadays. We got a 35 year mortgage, which is what lots of ftb have to get now to be able to have affordable payments and the amount of mortgage needed with the house prices so high. I’d have been very happy with a 25 year one!

I agree - my daughter took out a 33 year mortgage at the age of 30 - based on affordability as she would obviously have preferred the 25 year mortgage we took out when we were FTBs but she couldn't afford the repayments.

Longer mortgages are the new normal.

The ladder doesn't exist anymore. The big gains were made in the late 90s to early 2010s.
Not possible anymore x

We are about to become FTBs after 2 years and 5 months of looking. We have had to compromise:

County. I wanted to move to N Yorkshire but we were looking at 465k plus a 100k reno to find a house we moderately liked. Otherwise it was secondhand newbuild boxes or smaller stone houses still in need of a refurb, which would take time to save for.

Type. I absolutely never intended to buy a terraced house. I was going detached or semi at a push. The road is quiet and the neighbours respectful.

Money. We did and bought absolutely nothing last year in order to save and the year before wasn’t too dissimilar.

LTV. We are probably still going to have to be 90% LTV but if we want a slush fund bigger than 8k (there might be redundancies in the OHs future) then we really have no choice but to go 95% LTV. This was one of the big ones for me because there is a higher risk of negative equity the higher the LTV and I frankly loathe the idea of giving banks more money in interest, so it was very important to me that we find a house we feel we can live in for many years, in a town that offers us lots. We will overpay by quite a lot to get the term/how much the bank make out of us down. You don’t have much wiggle room to do that if you are stretching yourself and something goes awry.

Bedrooms. We have each had our own bedroom for 3 years, a king and super king bed. We are going down a room and will share a bedroom again (we will get x2 European doubles).

Garden. Nope. It’s a yard. It’s somewhat of a relief after maintaining a 1/3 of an acre for 3 years which has been knackering with one unfit and one disabled. There’s lots of lovely places nearby and a cute park a few minutes away.

So yeah, it does seem all FTBs have to make sacrifices of some sort unless you have a very generous BOMAD or want to stay at home saving for 13 years.

I was out of patience with it all, I will be 49 soon, something had to give.

That said, I am really really happy with the house that we found. I knew we were going to buy it the minute I stepped through the porch and it just feels like a lovely, warm home. So, whilst many sacrifices have been made, I don’t feel miserable about them. They feel more like adjusting my expectations than sacrifices. And the town is a vibrant, buzzing town in which everyone just looks happy!

Pebbledash is a step too far even for me though, OP.

Everyone needs to compromise on something and 400k is a healthy budget. As you have found, if you don'tove quickly you will end up in a worse position, especially in the south east

Right. I must have imagined ours then. We went from £100k equity to £400k equity over a decade by moving 3 times in the same area.

I don't love my house especially from the outside but inside it has enough space, is not in great condition but is fine and I've made it feel like our home.

I sometimes feel sad that I'm not bringing my DC up in a pretty house but it really doesn't actually matter. Good neighbours matter more.

It's my second step on the property ladder and a brilliant step up from my tiny London flat in a grim tower block.

I'm 50 minutes from a major London terminal (including the time to cycle to the station) and my 3 bed house is worth less than your budget by quite a way. I can't help but feel you're being too picky.

The pebbledash thing is daft. Paint it white and plant some clematis and climbing roses and it'll look very different.

You need to get over your pebbledash problem if that will get you a basic home

How long do you spend seeing the outside of your house ? Hardly never

Pay for therapy - it will save you a fortune in the long run!

And are you actually seeing things that need a roof replaced or are you reading a survey with first time buyer eyes?

Aye, we were lucky. Bought a tumbledown mansion in Belgravia in 1786 for 30 .guineas, sold it last summer for £25 million. It's been a hard long life.

You can have a house rendered if you don't like pebbledash. Where I live there's been a trend to have grey rendering.

I think it depends on where you live. Somewhere expensive, yes, you'll have to settle.

Have you ever watched Location, location, location, people with a million pounds plus, have to compromise, and often people don't buy at all. We're in a village in east Sussex,there are plenty of houses for £400k . Our last house was a cute 1930s pebbledash semi, bought by a professional couple early 30s. We did the downsizing bungalow near the sea thing.

It doesn't need to be pretty, or a character home, just said I'm not keen on grubby pebbledash houses on pebbledashed streets. But if it was a wonderful house in an ideal area then if course I'd overlook the pd. But pd or no pd, we can't find anything.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and advice it's appreciated.

It wasn't ideal but it was mine. It didn't cost a lot to do that work. I sold it two years later for twice what I bought it for.

Was it the garden trim or the paint job that doubled the value in two years?

If you have children to house you can't really afford to be as picky as you're being. You can get rid of pebble-dashing in the long term.

You know who's buying the pebbledashed houses in pebbledashed streets in dodgy areas that are inconvienient for work and need a load of DIY doing on them?

First time buyers with limited budgets. There is always always a compromise when buying a house, even if you've got millions to spend, there will be a flight path, a garden aspect, a pool that's not quite big enough, a distant hum of a motorway that isn't ideal.

Unless you're Mariah Carey you've got to find something that you can live with. Or not bother, and keep renting. At some point paying off someone elses mortgage instead of your own will start to look less attractive than pebbledash and you'll find one that you can cope with.