Moving after 30 years in my house

[Mxflamingnoravera]

After 30 years in my lovely Victorian terrace I've decided to downsize to a two bed new build flat.
I've had back surgery which was not entirely successful and other aches and pains which makes my house too much for me.
I'm 15 years divorced and my son left home 10 years ago, it's time for a new family to love this house and garden.
....
But I'm lost, heartbroken, excited, don't know quite how to get the house sale ready. Can't clean because of my back, and can't garden for the same reason.

I've got a blitzer coming for the garden on Wednesday, and a decorator to paint over old water stains on my ceiling.

But how do I go from all this to an apartment? My son's room is pretty much the way it was when he left for university. His childhood books and toys are still here. I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of my decision.

I've seen an agent, I know what the house is worth. That's not the problem, it's the 30 years of STUFF that feels so overwhelming. Where do I start? Help!

Thanks all for reminding me to look after my back. I've just photographed a load of clothes to put on Vinted and now my back is so sore.

The packing boxes are here. The painter has put me off for a day (but I'm secretly relieved because it means I don't have to spend tonight clearing my dining room ready for painting).

I want that apartment, but I need to be under offer to reserve :( so I need to get on with getting it sales ready. I reckon I can get it done over the weekend and then hopefully get the photography done on Monday. Ready for sale by the end of the week.

I've managed to get two kitchen chairs in my car (ie out of the kitchen). Second estate agent is coming tomorrow along with the garden blitzers. And I have to get a days work done. I'm lying on the sofa watching master chef instead of tidying because my back hurts. But result! I sold a pair of old dusty suede chaps on vinted within an hour of listing them. :)

You're amazing! Take it easy...

Aw thanks Shetland. I'm not amazing, I'm bone idle, but now I've made up my mind I'm determined.

Sounds great- you are doing really well
My garage is so full of stuff on its way out that you cant get in there

Rooting for you! I have to get the house ready to list soon too. It’s a daunting task but once you’re on a roll it’s so much easier. At least you’ve found somewhere you want to buy. That’s more than half the battle.

You sound great OP. Good luck, I hope it all goes according to plan. Send pics from you new balcony :)

God luck, OP! I hope you get your lovely apartment.

The blitzers blitzed today, left the kitchen covered in mud. They made attempt at cleaning but it'll take more than their feeble attempt. Why is it that men can wield a chainsaw, petrol strimmer and jet washer, but cannot mop a feckin floor?
Garden looks better, but I need deep cleaners definitely now. Decorator can't come until Monday now so I'm another week back... I also saw another gent who said exactly the same as the other agent. Same percentage, same everything, how do I choose? One is established local agent, the other is a new kid on the block but is getting good prices according to findagent.

And yes I need the decorator... just one room with historical damp stains that need covering.

Could you have the photos done and house listed without a pic of the room that needs decorating? That would save you time and by the time you have viewers, the room would be finished. I'd go with the established agent personally.

Edited to add that you probably don't need a deep clean before the photos - just a tidy up and surface wipe. Deep clean booked before viewers of course.

The room is a key room, it's the kitchen diner and the main room in the house. I did consider pics without it, but it's so integral that the agent even said get it painted.

@Shetlands thanks for view re agent. I may beat the agent down on fees as they are both offering the same fee.

My two eldest never packed their stuff or sorted it even as the lorry was outside so beware of agreeing to keep your son’s stuff. I’d take photos and ask for decisions now. I was left with boxes for years then blamed for not keeping specific items.
Try and go for easy wins first - it’s easiest to leave stuff on your drive for free pick up using FB or freebie site - no holding or promising stuff for people.
Your mindset needs to change -a helper would be great. Giving to charity feels good. Some people love house clearance - think about what you’ll want to take for your new life and let that be your focus.

I would adopt the attitude that if you haven’t used it in 12 months then you won’t probably use it again (unless sentimental) Take to charity shops or the tip.
You accumulate so much over that time - it’s best to keep decluttering often so when you do sell its easier…..

When we purchased one of our rental properties (probate) - the previous owner had lived in it for 40 years and there was a loft full of junk!!! 3 skip loads to clear at our expense too!!!

I am being ruthless. I did my understands cupboard yesterday, there was stuff in there dating back to the previous owner!

I'm stuck at A&E right now with a septic cut on my thumb that got bleach in it from trying clean my shower tray mouldy bits, I spilled the bleach and it got in my cut. It's now a chemical burn in a wound. I can't move my thumb. No decluttering for me today :(

Haven't read all the thread but have just decluttered similar house with young adults elsewhere and am just ahead of the move.

• take photos and whatsapp for decision from son. No decision in x days, not your problem.
• with a bad back I'd hire in someone on an hourly basis, handyperson, or maybe an ad on local facebook group, for someone to come and add energy/do the shifting/help with trips to dump etc. Maybe start as a one off for 2 hours and reassess if it helps. Don't underestimate the vim you get from someone competent adding complimentary skills and energies and doing something for you. I got a brilliant woman gardener who removed my raised beds and made it all more saleable for around £150; plus a garden waste firm who took 2 tonnes of garden waste for £180.
• When I moved back from abroad as single mum with two pre-teens I hired a young adult who was keen on diy for the day to help me reassemble the ikea furniture. Brilliant for me and him.
• Little and often. It took me 3 months of most of a weekend to get the house and childhood memories etc in order. I also got a Big Yellow storage unit - brilliant - higly recommend - accessible to switch things round or get something back, safe, female friendly, loads of trolleys and cctv and support, and that helped. Pm me if you'd like a referral code.
• The viewings and cossetting buyers to contract is a pain. I'm on my second lot now. All the effort put in up front to make the house as desirable and uncluttered as possible is massively massively worth it.

Good luck

100% agree with @kiwiane about leaving stuff on your drive. I posted photos on local fb group of stuff from this week's garage clearance and got keen gardeners taking compost and water pipes for polytunnels. first come first served, help yourself;

spoke for first time to parents of younger kids on street and got them to take their pick of basket ball hoops and bike helmets and board games;

got passing young families taking excess tins from my Brexit stache; got tag my bag from Oxfam and get regular emails how much cash the sewing patterns and books have made there. It has been a source of entertainment for the neighbours (:)) but a real builder of community feeling and help during cost of living problems.

it's time for a new family to love this house and garden

What a lovely way of looking at it, OP.

Ouch about the thumb!

And I wouldn't worry too much about getting the house cosmetically ready for listing/viewing. A period property in a good area should be enough to get the viewers/offers in.

Best of luck.

I hope you're home soon and all healed @Mxflamingnoravera.

I went through the utility room yesterday and have done under my bed and the bedroom cupboard today.

Still no date for putting the house on the market looking at you h but if anyone wants to move to Kent, PM me!

Hope it is going well. We had ours valued by 3 agents on Friday- 100% agreement on price and at the top end of our estimates. Market is quite buoyant apparently.

House is decluttered- garage is full of stiff to be disposed of. Car boot sales next weekend I think.

I’ll be doing this next January/February ready to go on the market in the spring. Nerve wracking and exciting all at once! It’s bonkers to think that Christmas 2024 will be my last one here if all goes to plan. I moved here at the beginning of 2005 when I was pregnant with DC2 although I didn’t realise I was pregnant until a few weeks after I’d moved in. I don’t know where the time has gone, I’m feeling quite wistful.

I hope it’s going smoothly for everyone.

My house goes live on the market tomorrow. I'm viewing thee places today and two tomorrow plus another three next week so far.

It's all moving so fast. 😬

Well done! How's your thumb?

Thumb is still very sore. I've had to attend the burns unit twice this week to check its healing, and back again in two weeks for a final check. I can't bend the thumb because it's still so swollen. But the redness has died down and the risk of sepsis seems to have gone.

I'm watching this thread with interest and admiration. Congratulations on getting the house on the market despite everything, @Mxflamingnoravera .

I am in a similar position: I need to downsize from a 5-bed family house to a 2/3 bed terrace half the size now that the DC have left home, but I have decades' worth of stuff to get rid of first, and DC are not around much to go through their things.

It doesn't help that I also have boxes of my late DH's childhood stuff to sort through, which his parents kindly shipped down to me when they were decluttering and downsizing...

And I am simultaneously trying to clear out my late parents' (huge) house ready to put that on the market once probate is sorted. They lived in the same house for 50 years, were avid collectors of all sorts of things and never threw anything away. They also kept lots of stuff inherited from their parents, grandparents and so on.

It is all down to me to deal with, and it is an absolute nightmare. I am determined not to inflict the same ordeal on my DC, which is one strong motivation for doing a very thorough declutter/Kondo/death-clean of all my stuff now. Sympathies to anyone going through the same process!