Moving after 30 years in my house

[Mxflamingnoravera]

After 30 years in my lovely Victorian terrace I've decided to downsize to a two bed new build flat.
I've had back surgery which was not entirely successful and other aches and pains which makes my house too much for me.
I'm 15 years divorced and my son left home 10 years ago, it's time for a new family to love this house and garden.
....
But I'm lost, heartbroken, excited, don't know quite how to get the house sale ready. Can't clean because of my back, and can't garden for the same reason.

I've got a blitzer coming for the garden on Wednesday, and a decorator to paint over old water stains on my ceiling.

But how do I go from all this to an apartment? My son's room is pretty much the way it was when he left for university. His childhood books and toys are still here. I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of my decision.

I've seen an agent, I know what the house is worth. That's not the problem, it's the 30 years of STUFF that feels so overwhelming. Where do I start? Help!

I think you are stressing yourself out more than you need to. Make sure the photos state the layout of the kitchen and put photos of the loft so people can see it isn't a dormer.

Get a gardener @Mxflamingnoravera we have one - he only comes for 2 hours once a fortnight but he keeps on top of things like mowing the lawn and does some weeding, then I do weeding in between his visits.

Your house being on the market for about 2 weeks is nothing, try not to get despondent. As long as you’re getting viewings you know it is priced about right. Having said that, if you are going to reduce the price it should be a meaningful reduction ( about 5% of the asking price) or it’s pointless.

Your aunt shouldn’t have let her lease fall below 80 years. You’re right to suggest she seeks proper professional advice. She should look into the costs of extending the lease although unfortunately the costs will be pretty high because she has allowed it to become so short.

I agree with @Twiglets1 , get a gardener, and a good handyman so you don't have to worry about tasks that you would struggle with - you don't need the extra stress, and it won't cost that much.

Sorry to hear about your Aunt's situation. Advice is essential as this is a complex area. But you can get a rough idea of the cost to extend the lease using an online calculator. Bear in mind that selling the property isn't the only option to pay for care. The flat could be rented out, or she could get an immediate needs annuity. It might be worth comparing the numbers for each option. Or sometimes you can get a deferred agreement with the Local Authority. The amount she has in savings will also be a factor. One thing I'm not sure of, and would require advice... the short lease will definitely impact the saleability of the property, and if she can't afford to extend it, would that mean the council accepts a lower value for the property in terms of her total assets? They might also agree to a deferred payment arrangement.

Do you have neighbours with teenagers who could run around with a lawnmower for a few quid? You've lived there for a long time so a bit of word of mouth to say you need someone for a few hours a week to cut the grass, do a spot of edging and sweeping? You'll need to supervise but might be faster to get hold of than a gardener this time of year. Even if the house goes under offer in a week you're likely to be there all summer so you can offer some decent pocket money for some straightforward work.

Thanks for the support you lot. I've reduced by £15k it'll move the house back to the top of zoopla and right move.

Aunt bought the flat with a short lease, it's a retirement flat in a small town in Worcestershire. I was not involved in the purchase. I've told her she needs advice. There are 8 for sale in her block...she has lots of savings. She know she'll have to pay for her own care. I bought an immediate needs annuity for my mum and it was a good decision, I've already broached it with aunt. But she is so anxious that she doesn't, literally doesn't stop talking, and doesn't listen. It drives me beserk.

Back to me, yes, Fortnightly grass cutting is a great idea. I'll put a post on a local board to see if anyone is out there. My neighbours promised they'd help me, but they appear to have forgotten now my arm is no longer in a sling. I still cannot do it myself but hey, I shouldn't rely on them. I'll get a fortnightly gardener. And perhaps a fortnightly cleaner too. It's too much for me, that's why I'm moving.

Do you have a link to your house OP?

Also here for a link to your house OP! (I suspect it’s somewhere I’d have bitten your hand off for a house a while back so I’ll be kicking myself).

Good luck.
We're downsizing and have got rid of so much stuff.
It's hard.

I'd rather not link to my house, far too exposing .

Op I don't know if this is helpful or if you have the time. We recently had a lot of work done on our house and had to pack up the whole downstairs. I am still unpacking "nicknacks" and less essential items. But having 6 weeks of not seeing them has helped me break an emotional connection to them if you see what I mean. So loads is being chucked / going to charity.

Ideally I would have thrown stuff before packing, and I did a bit but couldn't face getting rid of some things which I can now happily do.

My price reduction went live at midday yesterday, I have three viewers today and two in the week already!
I need to get out and cut the grass.
I've found a lovely local woman who will come round once a fortnight to help me with cleaning and gardening over the summer too. Sometimes I love what Facebook can do.

@Motnight Yes, I think I can already get rid of the stuff I put in storage (except my two outdoor chairs and my heads of Cupid and Hercules! I kept my bust of David in the house because he weighs more than 20kg. I have eclectic taste!

I love your taste, Op!

Ooh that’s sounding positive @Mxflamingnoravera - Good Luck!

I have offers! It's getting very real now. The best offer is £8k under the asking price, the other£10k under. There's one more viewing tomorrow.

I'm going to ask for a bit more. It's all getting very real.

I dinner with a friend last night who said I really shouldn't buy a leasehold flat, but there really are hardly any available and those that are, are Victorian and I want new or less than 25 years old. The one I want is still waiting for me. It's time to make my mind up and just do it! I'm terrified of getting something wrong.

One thing, as a cash buyer after sale, do I also need a deposit?

The person at the bottom of the chain provides the deposit so if you are the first person in the chain you will need one. Normally 5% of the purchase price is acceptable.

Though I’m not sure exactly how it works for people downsizing like yourself as they will have lots of equity in the house but not necessarily a savings pot. You may need to ask your solicitor or EA how that works, unless another Mumsnetter knows.

But the main thing is - Congratulations! It’s great to have 2 offers and your EA can use that competition between the two to hopefully get at least one of them to go higher. And can tell tomorrow’s viewer that the property already has 2 offers on it (they won’t reveal the exact offers) so if they like it, they know they have to offer close to the asking price 😀

Regarding being a cash buyer: Will there be a delay between selling your house and buying your new property? If not, then you should exchange on the same day as your buyer exchanges, and therefore you’ll be able to use the deposit they pay you to pay your deposit on the property you’re buying.

If you envisage buying as a cash buyer after selling yours, then you would need to provide a deposit on exchange of contracts on the new property, with the remainder paid on completion. The amount required for a deposit is usually 10% of the property price, but your solicitor or conveyancer will confirm the amount required. Also as a cash buyer the EA will need to see proof that you have the funds available and where the money has come from for money laundering regulations.

Re leasehold flats. If possible I think most people would prefer to buy property where you own or part own the freehold, but this is not possible in many cases. All you can do is buy a flat with a long lease and get your solicitor to go through the the wording of the leasehold with a fine tooth comb and check if there are any large/expensive works due on the building, like new roof or cladding issues and try to ensure these are either completed or paid for by the previous owner before you proceed. Leasehold is not ideal, but it is what it is and most flats in the U.K. are leasehold, and people still buy them.

Thanks for explaining the deposit stuff. I'll aim to exchange at the same time as my vendor and buyer then.

The chain will hopefully be short.

I've accepted an offer. I've spent half my life here. It's lovely in summer. But it's the right decision.

I'm looking at the house through different eyes now. It's very odd. And I'm also excited to be on the balcony of my new flat watching the sunsets.

😬

A good tip is if you like something but know you'll never use it. Take a photo of it so you can look at it whenever you want to but send it off to the charity shop or tip. I've been in my house for almost 20 years and although I'd love to downsize DH simply refuses to contemplate it. There are 3 of us rattling around in 6 bedrooms with only 2 bedrooms used. The thought of having to get rid of so much stuff is scary.

You could try to get a man and a van to take your stuff to storage and maybe do a tip run too.

I read that as you wanted to downsize DH!

Oh exciting. Have you had an offer accepted on the flat with the cladding issues?

My advice is to start decluttering now. Start small, look at books, ornaments, kitchenware, some of the bedroom furniture in those unused bedrooms and start to donate or sell items. If you do it gradually when you have time it is so much easier and less pressured than leaving it all to the moment when you are moving and having to made a decision to keep or chuck 20 years of stuff in a few weeks. Ask me how I know😉.

Oh, and if you think your DH will steadfastly refuse to let you get rid of anything, then just do it in drips and drabs under the radar. Bet he'll never notice.

@LardoBurrows Yes the issue was who was going to pay for works to put more effective fire breaks between balconies (I think). The management company told me that the original builders have taken responsibility and are having to pay for the remedial works. I need to know what the timescale is for these works, I'm warned by friends that the builders company may drag their heels on doing the works.

As I don't need a mortgage, this stuff is not going to affect whether I'm able to proceed or not, but it might affect management charges which I need to make sure my lawyers cover with extreme detail.

Once I'm a bit further down the route, I'll start getting rid of bits of larger furniture. I'm agonising over whether to keep a nearly new memory foam matteres vs a not new but hardly used and comfortable double mattress. The frame for one will just be chucked, it was damaged years ago when I let a friend and her son house sit and he used the bed as a trampoline and broke the frame (he was 7), she mended it but it's a bodge job, so that can go.

I'm already thinking about what will fit and what won't and how to get rid of what won't. A double wardrobe needs to go. That means dismantling it, I cannot do that myself so I'll need help.

I have too many chests of drawers, I'm emotionally attached to these. They are all Victorian and rather lovely in different ways. I can possibly sell these.

The place I'm hoping to move to is a riot of colour and has loads of built in storage. It's covered in paintings and pictures, there will be hundreds of holes to fill. It's going to be a challenge to mix my current style with the current decor and changing the decor is no quick slap of paint (think gold ceiling and green walls, or all walls painted red). It's really well done so I'm in no hurry to change it, but it's as far from timeless/magnolia walls as you can imagine.

But, it's early days. I only accepted my offer and so was able to make my proceedable offer, today.