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Original poster

Finally got a council house but im living next to a nightmare!! Advice

103 replies

Slowmo98 · 10/08/2023 09:28

So i finally got a council house, which was exciting at first, and me and my SO want to save up to get a deposit for our own place. The first instance started at 10am as i had someone come to put my carpets in, suddenly the neighbour (I'm attached too) screams out the window telling me to shut the 'f' up, while screaming some other insults. Obviously the carpet bloke continued and next minute she comes round onto the property screaming and shouting saying she will make my life a living hell, and that iv not even moved in yet and shes out for me.

This scared me so much!! I have anxiety and depression and this rocketed it to the roof. I also have a 22 month old.

The next time i hear is a man screaming at her door bashing on the windows and doors with her screaming the street down!!

Iv moved in and i hate it here already!!
Iv even spoke to other neighbours (Who are lovely) that have warned me to watch my back living next to this woman.

I have reported her to the council (only thing i knew to do) And they sent a letter to her house saying theres been a complaint and to stop before further action is taken. its made it worse!!! Shes been banging on our walls shouting at us. Im so worried for my daughter and my anxiety is worse then ever

I need advice!!! What do i do, am i overreacting? what would you do?

OP posts:
WhereshallIwander · 10/08/2023 09:34

You poor thing. That sound horrible.

Do you have any funds at all to possibly put towards shared ownership or a similar scheme?

Clefable · 10/08/2023 09:35

Oh god, that is a nightmare. Honestly I don't think anything will happen soon. I think councils are quite reluctant to get involved past just sending letters, because it causes a lot of work for them. I would be inclined to go to the council and say you will be involving the police, that your mental health and that of your child is at risk and you want to be moved as a matter of urgency for your own safety and health.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2023 09:36

Do not engage, record her, and call the police. Every time. She harassing and threatening you. You also need to get cameras set up outside.

Original poster
Slowmo98 · 10/08/2023 09:38

WhereshallIwander · 10/08/2023 09:34

You poor thing. That sound horrible.

Do you have any funds at all to possibly put towards shared ownership or a similar scheme?

Sadly we dont, all our current saving went on the carpets and blinds for this house 😞iv only just started working weekends and my SO works all week, were hoping by 4 year mark we will have enough!

Im just scared to go outside in case she starts

what is shared ownership?

OP posts:
Jamjarcandlestick · 10/08/2023 09:40

I don’t really have any real advice but maybe get a ring door bell? That way you’ll have evidence if she comes over to yours.

Im so sorry OP, this sounds hellish.

Original poster
Slowmo98 · 10/08/2023 09:40

Luckily we have cameras! and sent the proof to the council

OP posts:
ClematisBlue49 · 10/08/2023 09:40

Definitely report to the council, but if anything happens out of office hours, or that makes you fearful for your safety, I would call the police. In the meantime keep records of everything that happens, with dates, times and photos / video if you can. Unlike in privately owned properties, councils do have the ability to evict people, but they need evidence.

Strugglingtofindclothes · 10/08/2023 09:42

Don't engage. Log and report every incident, and make a nuisance of yourself with your Housing officer.

I suspect the previous occupiers moved out because of this delightful family, make them a project.

WhereshallIwander · 10/08/2023 09:44

Slowmo98 · 10/08/2023 09:38

Sadly we dont, all our current saving went on the carpets and blinds for this house 😞iv only just started working weekends and my SO works all week, were hoping by 4 year mark we will have enough!

Im just scared to go outside in case she starts

what is shared ownership?

Show quote history

I'd concentrate on saving and getting your credit score in good order.

I lived near a not very nice estate recently and bought the house there as I couldn't afford a nicer area.
I'm now using the proceeds of that sale to put towards a share in a nicer property in a better area.

Have a look at Heylo. I'm using the yourhome scheme. If you are both working, you might be able to get a mortgage to cover your share.

fluffiphlox · 10/08/2023 09:44

I think I know why your house became available. Keep logging and reporting but don’t engage.

purpleme12 · 10/08/2023 09:46

You need to report to the police.

LookingForPurpose · 10/08/2023 09:47

From first hand experience I can promise you that you need to log and report every single thing you possibly can to the council and if warranted , the police. It took me 7 months of constant reporting after a year of hell to get my neighbour evicted and a great deal of that awful behaviour was hanging on the walls, late night parties, threats of violence and general abuse.

Original poster
Slowmo98 · 10/08/2023 09:49

LookingForPurpose · 10/08/2023 09:47

From first hand experience I can promise you that you need to log and report every single thing you possibly can to the council and if warranted , the police. It took me 7 months of constant reporting after a year of hell to get my neighbour evicted and a great deal of that awful behaviour was hanging on the walls, late night parties, threats of violence and general abuse.

I cant believe it took that long!! that's awful, i'm sorry you've had the same experience! i have reported 4 incidences in a week so far (only been here a week!) I will keep reporting and pray she gets evicted!!

OP posts:
SlowlyLosing · 10/08/2023 09:50

You've had good practical advice here, she's a bully, don't engage and keep records.

You mention your anxiety. You'll need to find a way to handle this. From what you've said you aren't in danger, so what will help you manage your mind to cope with this?

Don't project it onto your daughter, say 'ah, she's kicking off again' with an eye roll and carry on. Teach your child to think this is just background noise similar to living next to a building site.

I hope you can get out of there, or she is removed. But neighbours can be awful anywhere so strategies to cope will be useful to you and your child for the rest of your life.

rose69 · 10/08/2023 09:53

Also contact your local ward councillor (you will be able to find it on the council website). If they don’t get involved go to your MP.

WhaleSharkBootySweat · 10/08/2023 09:57
  • email MP, multiple times if necessary
  • escalate in the council to the complaints department
  • contact the police for every incident even you spend hours on hold. Get crime reference numbers for everything.
  • see if there is a neighbour community group who can help escalate things to the council. They might not want to get involved.
  • detach yourself. She doesn't hate you. She hates the lack of control she has over who gets out next door to her. She hates happy people.
  • the council won't want to deal with it as they will have to rehouse her. That's not your problem.
  • film and log everything.
  • do not rise to it or respond. She will want you to, so she can blame you too
WhaleSharkBootySweat · 10/08/2023 10:01

Also it could be worse OP, you could own your house and they could own theirs too. Then you'd truly be stuck.
I know that might not make things better!

purpleme12 · 10/08/2023 10:01

WhaleSharkBootySweat · 10/08/2023 10:01

Also it could be worse OP, you could own your house and they could own theirs too. Then you'd truly be stuck.
I know that might not make things better!

So true.
That is our situation 😞

THisbackwithavengeance · 10/08/2023 10:04

My former SIL lives in a council house and had a problem with a new anti social neighbour who sounds like your neighbour.

However, when my SIL's very gobby sister moved in with her temporarily, she (the sister) was made of sterner stuff and used to shout and swear and threaten back at the neighbour.

The anti social behaviour stopped.

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

specialsauce · 10/08/2023 10:04

The council must have known this was a problem neighbour and they should have never allowed you to move there especially with a toddler. I'd be livid at the council for allowing this to happen and demand to be moved.

I had a nightmare neighbour for 4 years - it was honestly the most stressful thing I've ever had to endure. In the end I called the police every night while she was yelling and made a really long 3 month noise complaint to the council. In the end they removed her from the property by force. Good luck - I feel for you I really do.

GreenMonstersParty · 10/08/2023 10:13

You MUST report her every time to the council as her landlord, even if that means an email to them every single day, or multiple times a day.

Every single instance of her behaviour must be reported (& recordings provided as evidence if you have these) as soon as it happens - then the council will be able to focus more resources of solving it as a. you will have provided them evidence of her behaviour and b. it will push it up their list of priorities as you will be contacting them an awful lot.

You must also report her behaviour to the police via the online reporting form every time she does anything that harass you or threatens you. Again, you must do this every single time. This will allow them to build a picture of what is going on and although they probably wont do anything to begin with, once they have received reports via their online service frequently over a few weeks period it will push up their priority list too.

Nothing will happen quickly but you have to ensure you continue reporting. I would also ask for a meeting at the council offices to discuss what they plan to do to ensure you can live in peace. Take a written copy of all the tines you have contacted them and the police, note down any questions you have and be factual, not emotional, in the meeting. Be clear about your expectations as the outset - her behaviour to stop or them to move you if they cant stop it. Always be polite but be that squeaky wheel. Take up so much of their time with this issue by reporting it and meeting with them that they will do something about it.

I used to work in council housing and it is extremely difficult to evict tenants for this (the courts evict tenants not the landlord), but there are others things that can be done to help you but you have to constantly contact everyoneand push for a resolution.

Good luck.

mumda · 10/08/2023 10:21

You could ask the council if they have a duty of care to the new tenant given this won't be new behaviour.
The previous tenant of your property probably suffered too.

You will need to be persistent in reporting all incidents.
Good luck.

Original poster
Slowmo98 · 10/08/2023 10:23

Thank you everyone for the advice, I will be reporting every incidence and even to the police!, I will try find some coping methods for the time being. I wont be engaging with her, I don't have it in me to do so.

It could be worse! Sadly my anxiety hypes things up, though my medication does help with this (somewhat). I do have a ring door bell which has helped to give evidence to the council so far, and i will continue to document everything and send it to them. So far iv called them every other day about this.

iv even gone to the council in person.

OP posts:
Strugglingtofindclothes · 10/08/2023 10:24

If you Google your local police force you'll be able to find your named community support officer - there should be a PCSO, PC and Sergeant named. They would be useful to make contact with.

worjen · 10/08/2023 10:24

Ok maybe this is an unhelpful take, and I definitely think the advice above is helpful about recording etc. also in my experience of a decade on a council estate where there are lots of challenging characters… I’m not sure how much will practically happen. And so there’s the question of how you practically live with it. When we first moved onto our estate, our neighbour harassed us big time. She told the police (and lots of other neighbours) we were pedophiles and she spread rumours about others too. It was horrible. But actually she was driven by anxiety. We just keep level headed and kind to her and over time she mellowed and we became friends.

I’m not saying that’s always possible, but I do think it’s worth considering that there may be trauma or anxiety underpinning your neighbour’s upsetting behaviour. Sometimes holding firm boundaries (not letting her walk over you) but continuing to extend basic human kindness can be helpful, in my experience. Because it’s really hard to keep being crap to someone you’re not getting any rise out of.

I could be wrong - just sharing what I’ve experienced results with. Really sorry this has been your experience, though. It’s horrible to deal with.