Useless sales photos

[Bonfire23]

Am I buying the home or the Chanel perfume?

https://www.guildhallsales.co.uk/property/central-beach-lytham-fy8/

Haven't seen one of these threads for a bit so thought I would share!

If this flat was on Through The Keyhole I'd guess it was Nadine Dorries' gaff.

Any burglars in the Lytham area will know where to go for their Chanel bags!

“Lifestyle to aspire to!”
(no)

He's a teeny weeny tiny estate agent though isn't he!

I couldn't buy it, I'd be afraid I'd catch twat if I lived there

Or is it a giant Sun lounger...

Yes , that was the joke ....

Several pics of the big bed with the big headboard, that will presumably be going with the owner - just emphasising that it’s not a particularly large room for that sort of furniture. The one of another bedroom points that out even more clearly, hardly any space to inch along the end of the bed and the wardrobes.

Am I missing something or is there no floor plan ? At the moment I’m left with the impression that it’s an open plan kitchen/dining/living space. Lots of lifestyle dressing but missing some info about what you actually get apart from location.

@JellyfishandShells found one on rightmove
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/132222131#/?channel=RES_BUY

Love the floor plan of the parking bays!

How much champagne? Hope the owner isn't a pilot!

It's giving off Towie vibes.

Is it me or does the chap look disproportionately sized? Like a teeny tiny man?

Little Britain had a sketch with Dennis Waterman being little and it reminds me of that.

This photo is hilarious.

Thank, @Bonfire23 - makes it clearer ! It’s essentially a semidetached bungalow perched atop a low rise block with a clear sea view.

(Noticed the Dickens edition in the blue cloth snuggled among the larger volumes of Hansard in the green ( interesting…….) I’ve got that one, though more of them ! They were my mother’s and I set myself the challenge of reading my way through them, one by one every Xmas when we visited.)

strange indeed as the unit you are buying comes with none of this, not the books or the booze or the purple teddy bear tucked in the closet.

Where's the private rooftop terrace in this "penthouse"? I would love something like that. This flat is a top floor flat with a little terrace overlooking the sea. Not the same thing AT ALL. Although I know "penthouse" means top floor. Still.....

@JellyfishandShells wrote
”Noticed the Dickens edition in the blue cloth snuggled among the larger volumes of Hansard in the green ( interesting…….) “

In my mind I hear Lloyd Grossman saying, “Who lives in a house like this?”

He doesn't even have any champagne in the glass! Poor effort!

It's a shame they didn't include the photo of the loft to visualise the size as that's also driving the price up

(From the RM link. Huge Extensive Boarded Loft Space Approx 1600 sq ft with Potential for Conversion Subject to Planning Permission)

One wonders if they've ever drunk champagne. It looks like they've snaffled away every bottle ever given to them!

Sad that the features that make it a really nice home are obscured by all that posed “aspirational” bollocks. Remove all the show off/vulgar new money items and there is a lovely home underneath it.

Bless little Chris Dale climbing up onto that lounger like a toddler getting up on a sofa and pretending to drink Mummy’s wine.

Arf at Nadine Dorries!

Am I reading this right... it's a 3-bed 2-bath property, but only 482 square feet??

1600 sft on floor plan and bullet point details (on rightmove)

So many photos of furniture !

The close up of the bathroom tap and hand wash is odd. They could've at least cleaned the tap.

What brand is the Teddy in the wardrobe? I know it's a designer one and it's bugging me!