Escape from the country (lighthearted support thread!)

[Onebigmistake]

We moved from London 10 years ago to the countryside. We're surrounded by small towns, rural life and beaches - which was idyllic until the children became preteens.

Now it's just deprivation, dreary, nothing to do, jobless, no buses, empty highstreets and even the schooling has gone down hill. (SW England)

We would LOVE to move back to London but we've priced ourselves out. We can never afford to move back.

Has anyone else made this mistake?

I really need to reframe it. We were all happy until the children reached 10 / 11 ish. I was also made redundant and cant find a similar role in the entire county. It sucks..... (obviously lots of work in London with decent salaries too! But none offer remote working)

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else had regrets about moving from city to rural? And how do you cope? What did you do? 😊

(We're from rural SW but seem to prefer city life)

Can't afford Bristol either!

Your kids won't know any different though, if it's any consolation.

I've raised 3 teenagers in a quiet village and other than the ferrying them around at night, it wasn't any real stress and they got into far less trouble than i'd worried about.

We're in the SW (Gloucestershire).

That is consolation, thank you!! you're right about the lack of trouble.

We're 3 hours south of Gloucestershire.

Maybe I just need more holidays! 😂

Well, summer's coming...everywhere seems a bit rubbish at this time of year. I'm in London but frankly even the scurry to the shops etc 2 minutes away's a bit of a chore in this weather!

DH wanted us to move to Dorset a few years ago, but unlike him I had a very dull teenagerhood in the country so I refused to go. Having said that, the dullness had a lot to do with unhelpful/uninterested parents rather than location as such. And in London my own dc still had quite a lot of hanging around in parks in large groups with not many other places to go until they were old enough to get into pubs, so possibly not so very different from the country. I still tended to pick them up if they were out late, even though they could have got the tube or the night bus.

Take heart - perhaps your dc will run away back to London for jobs in a few years and you'll be able to join them for visits and then go home to the space, peace and quiet you've got used to...!

Thank you @whenindoubtgotothelibrary - that helps me feel less miffed here.

DC have promised that I can live with them if they move to London 😂 I said "I'll remember that!!" Haha

I just want them to have opportunities and excitement. I wonder if I've romanticised the City.

Hold them to it!

I think if (like me) you didn't grow up in London and moved here as a young adult you probably do end up romanticising it a bit. I seem to love it far more than friends who grew up here. I've been in London more than 30 years but I still get a thrill from the red buses going past the end of our road...!

Same! DH and I grew up in the SW in small towns and remember the dull teenage years well. We can't remember why we thought we'd move back! What idiots...

I'll definitely hold them to it! I miss the hot dusty smell of the underground

Well I live in the SW and am escaping to the highlands.

too many people in summer!

I am originally from London and moved many moons ago as we had dreams of raising kids in rural bliss. Thirty years on, two of have mine escaped to cities, one is a real country lover and the other talks about moving to a city at some point. Living in the sticks meant they were easier to keep tabs on as they relied heavily on us ferrying them about, plus we soon knew if they were in any trouble! Swings and roundabouts. I'd love to go back to London but like you, can't afford it, but will probably move somewhere bigger again as our area has also become quite depressing and I miss the buzz I didn't have enough time for while the kids were young.

It gets my goat when people call the countryside dreary! Where do you live? Are you really rural, or in a town? There are lots of vibrant market towns in the SW - Marlborough, Cirencester are local to me, but I bet there are similar sized towns where you are too, with lots going on if you go out and look for it. Life doesn't come to you.

Get the kids involved in Guides/Scouts, or the other youth groups (air/army cadets, St John's...), join the football/rugby/cricket club, local am dram society, swimming club, after school clubs/sports teams/music lessons/school orchestra etc.

Get them out enjoying the countryside - its a much better environment for children, and they can have a lot more autonomy too, at a younger age. I was have quite happy for my DCs to walk round our local town at 10/11 than I would have been in a big city. There would always be someone to help them if they got into a spot of bother.

@KnickerlessParsons I'm in the mining wastelands of Cornwall.

Even holiday clubs have closed down!

(air/army cadets, St John's...) = don't have
join the football/rugby/cricket club = tried that...
local am dram society = dont have, swimming club = dont have,
After school clubs = usually cancelled
/music lessons/school orchestra = dont have

They'd LOVE school orchestra if we had it.

We have rugby / football but only the absolute best kids play which means most of them sit in the rain on a bench for the entire time.

Have you given any thought to moving to any other cities in the UK? Places like Cardiff or Swansea might give you the best of both worlds and are not a million miles away from you? I appreciate it's not London but lots of UK cities do have a lot to offer these days. Sheffield? Leeds? Both great cities in my opinion

@TheToothofaPig funny you say that - I was just thinking about other cities. I love Wales! I will have a look at house prices.

I think I'm feeling especially low because I'm unemployed but also, just applied for a job and was told I'm too old! (Well known accountancy firm in the SW!) How dare they 😭 "you wouldn't fit in with the young team we have"

I'm so SW I've never even heard of Cirencester or Marlborough 😂

sigh another one contributing to the chronic housing shortage for us locals and workers and inflating house prices. Its gets busy in the summer here too, and good luck with the midges 😋

www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/lifestyle/property/house-price-rises-highlands-islands-29294482

@Scotsgirl001 ummm lighthearted thread 😊 please and thank you

just applied for a job and was told I'm too old! (Well known accountancy firm in the SW!) How dare they 😭 "you wouldn't fit in with the young team we have"

Ugh! Ageist fuckers. Someone should introduce them to The Equality Act of 2010

Move out of Cornwall further up, Devon/Dorset/Somerset. Beautiful countryside still and more things to do.

@WildFlowerBees is there anywhere you'd recommend? I think being nearer Bristol and Exeter would be amazing for the whole family x

Oh god poor you. Cornwall has never appealed to me at all, in fact my friends who moved there ended up getting divorced as the lifestyle was so dreary. I live nearish to Bristol and an hour or so away from Exeter. Wouldn't live in Cornwall if you paid me.

There are lots of vibrant market towns in the SW - Marlborough, Cirencester are local to me That's practically London 😉

@Plirtle sounds familiar 😂 save me!

I think Exeter would suit you, no idea if it’s as expensive as Bristol though. We nearly moved further South West at one time (we are Gloucestershire), I’m so glad we didn’t. We are 45 minutes from Bristol and an hour from Birmingham.

Can you move? I would. Dorset and Somerset are much nicer. Frome and Bruton are the gold standard if you can afford to buy there.

Yep we're all keen to move but budget is only 325k as redundancy is nomming away at my savings!

I'll have a look x