Escape from the country (lighthearted support thread!)

[Onebigmistake]

We moved from London 10 years ago to the countryside. We're surrounded by small towns, rural life and beaches - which was idyllic until the children became preteens.

Now it's just deprivation, dreary, nothing to do, jobless, no buses, empty highstreets and even the schooling has gone down hill. (SW England)

We would LOVE to move back to London but we've priced ourselves out. We can never afford to move back.

Has anyone else made this mistake?

I really need to reframe it. We were all happy until the children reached 10 / 11 ish. I was also made redundant and cant find a similar role in the entire county. It sucks..... (obviously lots of work in London with decent salaries too! But none offer remote working)

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else had regrets about moving from city to rural? And how do you cope? What did you do? 😊

(We're from rural SW but seem to prefer city life)

DJ Reynolds and Co in Penzance might also be worth inquiring at. I hear it is not easy recruiting good accountants in that area.

I understand how you feel @Onebigmistake

We're not from London and haven't ever lived there (although I always wanted to, DH not so much), but both grew up in fairly large south coast cities with lots going on.

We moved away when DS went to uni, and in seeking out the rural idyll tried Essex, Wiltshire, and a West Midlands village before finally settling (if you can call it that!) in Carmarthenshire. Over a period of time we gradually downsized to the point we could definitely no longer afford to buy back our old Hampshire house (currently circa £1 million).

Both of us thought the Welsh countryside with close-ish proximity to a deserted beach was just what we wanted, but after five years we've admitted that we absolutely hate it here and need to return to somewhere with more happening/less rain!

Our family mostly live along the south coast of England but we aren't keen to return to Hampshire or Brighton where DS lives. DH doesn’t want to live in a city again (whereas I'd move to London tomorrow!), so it's smaller towns/market towns we'd be considering. I think we'll end up in Somerset or back in Wiltshire, although I'm drawn to the drier - if colder - Eastern counties. Trouble is I feel they might be too quiet for us, with regards to cultural stuff and pretty market towns for shopping trips.

Following this thread with interest and wishing you all the best in finding your perfect location (and job!).

Seconding the earlier suggestions for Cardiff or Swansea.

Sorry haven’t read the whole thread but… have you considered Trowbridge (dons hard hat)? It’s not very well regarded BUT parts on the outskirts are nice, some lovely houses and much cheaper than other parts of the region. Bath is 20ish minutes on the train and Bristol 50ish I think? You can get some lovely period houses for a snap. Would need to do your homework on schools etc as some parts are quite.. err… gritty.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/132341300

Searched out this thread as I had another moan at DH last night about how there's no way we can have teens in this god awful suburban town!

We will, without fail, be moving to the outskirts of a city in the next few years. We live in a rubbish village. There's poverty everywhere in this town and some of the worst county lines activity in the whole country.

We left London. I don't actually want to go back, although we couldn't afford it anyway. But, our DDs cannot be raised in a place where our local park is a hotspot for drug use. There. Is. Nothing. To. Do!

Nice walks and village pubs are pointless if I can't walk to a coffee shop and restaurant or at least get a tram/train in 10 minutes to some culture. It isn't the best place for kids or adults.

We've been in Northamptonshire for 6 years and I no happier- secondary schools are also appalling! Cannot wait to get the hell outta dodge. Anyone thinking about leaving a city for a rural life should ease out the city slowly and not do what we did and go wherever gets you on the property ladder!

Moan over.

@Xtraincome Totally understand your post. It resonates.
Deprivation + boredom = crime.

It's an endless cycle. The councillors here voted themselves a pay rise while the rest of the county are using food banks and have no heating. Nobody of any importance actually does anything to tangibly help or improve the area.

Thanks OP. If I have someone tell me one more time there's "nice walks" in Northamptonshire I am going to flip.

The rural life only works well for some but if you have children you want to expose to culture and opportunities, it's not ideal. I also don't want to wait until kids leave home to go somewhere that makes me happy too.

Why not expand your search to the whole of the UK, and go for any nice city where you could apply for jobs? I've visited Carlisle loads and I absolutely love it (although no idea what the job situation there is). £325k though would buy you loads. Also just a thought. If your background's accountancy are HMRC recruiting anywhere?

What about Eastbourne? I had a quick look and there seem to be some 3 beds for around £325k (sorry can't recall what size property you were after) although not all close to the centre. Commute to London a bit slow at 1 hour 40 but if you were hybrid working and at home some days then not too far. Several theatres in Eastbourne and a fair bit going on, although nowhere near as popular or as busy as Brighton etc. You also have the South Downs National park on your doorstep so stunning countryside (if you aren't bored of walks!!!) nearby too. Not to mention being close to the sea. You could also follow the trainline east down the coast to Bexhill or Hastings and the like. Hastings seems a bit more expensive and add another 40 minutes or so to the commute.

I've always felt that I want to live somewhere where going into London can be done at the drop of a hat and doesn't need any real forward planning. Feeling well connected and being spoilt for choice in terms of things to do, as well as more employment opportunities are definitely a huge bonus. I do appreciate though that the south east is super expensive and it's not necessarily everyone's cup of tea either! Good luck with your searches.

Well I live in the SW and am escaping to the highlands.

too many people in summer!

sigh another one contributing to the chronic housing shortage for us locals and workers and inflating house prices. Its gets busy in the summer here too, and good luck with the midges 😋

@Scotsgirl001

Sorry but I do not agree with this. You do not own a place. People can move wherever they want and this person will become a local when they live there. And I say this as someone who grew up in the Lake District. Don't be so parochial.

I'm afraid you sound very down on Cornwall. I don't find it like that to live in at all. My kids love being outdoors whatever the season. There's good opportunities on the way with space, the port in Falmouth and the mining that's coming back.

It's a long way from a major city, but that has its up sides too.

Cornwall can be hard to live in if you're comparing to Bristol or London (I've also lived in both).

You sound like you're living in the most deprived part of Cornwall and it's not all like that. Try Falmouth or Truro for a bit of life. Still near ish your kids' friends.

@mellongoose where in Truro is this "life" you speak of? 😂

Is it in the museum thats dreary and barely open? 🤔

Or is it in the many empty shops?

Is it the abundance of decent jobs? Can't be that.

I was in Truro last night having cocktails. We were one of two tables in the whole place. They closed early!

Genuinely can't see it. I grew up in Truro and it hasn't changed since 1997.

I definitely wouldn't be moving to Swansea (as suggested by a couple of previous posters) in your position @Onebigmistake

Imho - we've lived in rural Carmarthenshire for five years and Swansea is not the place we choose if we need a culture fix - there's very little happening there. If you want culture comparable to that of SE England, in Wales, Cardiff is the only real option I think. JMO obviously.

Oh dear. You clearly just don't want to be there.

@mellongoose 😊 I guess. I just value my happiness, DC happiness, DH happiness and our marriage 😊 and that's OK x

I really want actual advice here....not little digs.

Hope that's OK 😊

I understand but my advice is to make the most of what you have. You make Cornwall sound like a dreadful backwater and want to uproot your children rather than look closer to home.

I'm certainly not having a go!! Everyone has the right to live somewhere that makes them happy. 😊

Cornwall whilst absolutely beautiful doesn't have a huge amount going for it in terms of employment or opportunity. It is also a bit of a backwater, took my parents 18 years to be seen as 'local' I love the village they live in but it's not for me. Devon is better but there's a lack of semi rural properties unless you can afford 700k plus. We are also looking at moving further towards Somerset. I hope you find somewhere perfect for you and your family op, the environment we live in really does make a huge difference to our sense of wellbeing.

We’re in south Somerset which for us is perfect because we can get to Exeter, Bristol or Bath for a day trip, even London although that’s a longer day. We also like Dorchester (cinema is £3.50 a ticket!!!) and Weymouth, both 30-45 minutes away. Dc school is rated good and they are all doing well.

i guess what I’m saying is, there’s a compromise. I have to visit London a few times a year to get my city fill!

You sound very unhappy. That’s not good. It’s not a good way to live long term.

But you have choices. Now you just need to plan for the future with the hand that you have. Put your budget into rightmove and drill down on each area that’s looking potentially possible. Research and ask questions from that point.

Take your time as you’ve already got a home. Visit all the areas that look affordable and create your exit plan. This may involve holiday time being spent visiting different areas and evaluating them. It’s going to take time, but if you start to be proactive to get to your goal I bet you will feel better and find a way forward.

I truly do understand that you left London and that market has now become unobtainable for you to go back to, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t find a future more suitable for you shortly. You’ve enjoyed your years where you are, but they are now too limiting going forward. Sometimes our lives are a series of chapters rather than the whole book. Split it into the chapters and view it as such and research your next chapter that can also be a happy one. Good luck.

Stroud! Family friendly, a bit whacky, always something going on

@Onebigmistake How's it going? Saw the comment about Truro. And it reminded me we went at Xmas because I was told the Xmas Market was the best for miles. Took the kids on the steam train at Bodmin too, and whilst it was all nice, it seemed that there was more happening here. I'd agree that Truro felt a bit bleak in comparison. Truro wasn't what I expected at all and I've not been in a rush to go back.

I think you should decide if you can move anywhere for the sake of the kids or if you need to make it about your career ultimately. At the moment for me I know this is the right place for the kids and I do love this area (I'm in a small market town between Exeter and Plymouth) I've just accepted the fact that work prospects for me are dire and that I have to keep trying. Or exploring the remote working thing.

On another note, I think it's possible to get a feel for a place in a short space of time. Could you have a couple of weekends away exploring some of the places suggested if you're not familiar with them?

You said upthread you wanted city life and be about 2 hours from London.

Come to Leeds. 2 hours to London on the fast train, but city life, countryside and everything in between on your doorstep. And you can buy a house on a £325k budget.