Escape from the country (lighthearted support thread!)

[Onebigmistake]

We moved from London 10 years ago to the countryside. We're surrounded by small towns, rural life and beaches - which was idyllic until the children became preteens.

Now it's just deprivation, dreary, nothing to do, jobless, no buses, empty highstreets and even the schooling has gone down hill. (SW England)

We would LOVE to move back to London but we've priced ourselves out. We can never afford to move back.

Has anyone else made this mistake?

I really need to reframe it. We were all happy until the children reached 10 / 11 ish. I was also made redundant and cant find a similar role in the entire county. It sucks..... (obviously lots of work in London with decent salaries too! But none offer remote working)

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else had regrets about moving from city to rural? And how do you cope? What did you do? 😊

(We're from rural SW but seem to prefer city life)

Well they are both in the South West. Less so than Devon or Cornwall, but according to all the maps.

@Onebigmistake Not wanting to name and shame at this stage, but are they named after a large religious building in the city centre?

Yeah, it's hard to keep going sometimes. And yeah, that does happen with some of our cafes, too. I applied for a job in one but it's been closed for the past week!

I had friends who took on a pub in Exeter but left after a couple of weeks because they were taking less than 100 quid a day!

I feel like my siblings who live closer to London have a better life but I don't think I could afford it, and it's so great for the kids here. I don't know what the answer is and whenever I go there I feel like it's really crowded and can't wait to leave!

Yes they are the same ones @mrsnec

If you leave a bad Google review they'll lie and reply with "we've had a look at our records and we don't remember dealing with you" (the equivalent of gaslighting!)

What about Gloucester? It doesn't get touch love on here but actually it's a decent size, housing is fairly affordable, good schools and lots of fairly big employers (insurance especially). It's also very commutable to Bristol or Birmingham and an hour on the train to Cardiff. You can be out in the countryside in minutes as well.

Oddly the business owner is a middle aged woman. So you'd think she would know better than being ageist and sexist. But there we go! @mrsnec

Definitely going to check out Gloucester, thanks :)

There are loads of 3-bed houses in Gloucester under £325k OP. I don't know how many bedrooms you want and maybe you need somewhere bigger?

Well, I'm going to cross Exeter off my list. And if anyone reads this in months or years to come - do be wary of the recruitment agencies you use. Especially if a woman aged 30+

😁 I wish we could review recruitment agencies anonymously without the worry of a nasty reply!

3 bed semi with a nice garden is exactly what I want. I'll have a look x

You could always do what friends did. They got rid of everything bar the necessities and bought a 1 bed flat and moved in with their 2 dc. DC had the bedroom and they had a sofa bed.

They are in a 3 bed semi now. Another couple I know did the same.

Come and move up to Lincolnshire , will get a lovely house for £325, look at Bourne, small town with excellent schools, 20 mins drive to Stamford or Peterborough where you can be in London King's Cross within 50mins .

@Onebigmistake Isn't that funny! Yeah I had a bit of a run in with the boss after she trashed my CV and considered taking it further, but somehow, I just knew I wasn't going to get anywhere, so I didn't bother!

Lesson learnt, and yes, even our biggest city is backwards and not as progressive as it thinks it is.

The thing is, I chose this town because I fell in love with my house and loved the fact that everything is on my doorstep, which was very unusual for Devon. I'm also close to the station, and we're equidistant of London and Cornwall, and Bristol is only an hour, I think. That was all a big selling point, but the truth is I've only used the train a handful of times. I'm 4 miles from the beach but hardly ever go, so if I ever move those aren't things I need to consider.

I'm also here because I needed to be closer to my parents (retired here from Surrey. 25 years ago. Only just stopped feeling like grockles)

Our second choice would have been Cheltenham or surrounding areas. Gloucester may be a good shout for you.

Incedently, My DM watches a place in the county every day like she's still looking for validation she made the right choice! I get a phone call every time we're on! Which is quite frequently!

Isn't that funny! Yeah I had a bit of a run in with the boss after she trashed my CV and considered taking it further, but somehow, I just knew I wasn't going to get anywhere, so I didn't bother!

She trashed mine too. Do you have LinkedIn? I applied for a job using that CV and they said they didn't understand it 😂 never again! It was EMBARRASSING!!

Thank you for your help x

crikey - it’s only 3 hours on the train from here in north Cumbria to Euston! Direct line too.

Can you get to Camborne or Redruth?
They both have Army cadets and Camborne has Air cadets.
Redruth also has an am dram society and a swimming club at Carn Brea leisure centre

Basingstoke might suit you OP and its about 1hr drive on M3 to London or easy to get to on the train. There are lots of leisure facilities and the shopping centre is modern. It's easy to drive around too. You could just about get a 3 bed for your budget

@Onebigmistake, yes, I do have LinkedIn, and yes, that was her problem, although she also said she hated the way it was formatted, and she thought with my creative brain I might have added some colour!

But I've had ageist comments from every interview I've been to since I've been down here, and they've all started with asking me if I have children and what my childcare arrangements are!

But, even though my children are younger than yours, everything you require for them is here. My children's school is amazing.So my dilemma is balancing their needs against mine.

I hope you get it right eventually @

In my case I was absolutely not romanticising the countryside, as I’ve lived happily very rurally in other countries, but moving from Oxford and then London (in both of which I’d lived longterm very happily) to a Midlands village was the worst move of my life. Insular, weirdly homogeneous, xenophobic (I’m not British), despite proximity to a multicultural city, and got worse after Brexit. I left the UK entirely and moved to a small, culturally vibrant coastal city in another country.

If your kids are only used to Cornish life and are relatively young teens I'd would be very cautious about moving them to London or some other major cities. They won't be streetwise enough.

325 is a healthy amount for a nice property in many areas of the Midlands and you can get a fast train to London in about an hour. You can also go down the M5 to Bristol in around two hours or less.

Might be worth looking at areas of Worcestershire that are near Birmingham and have a decent train service.

Very different to Bristol or London though but more diverse than Cornwall.

I see Frome has been highly recommended. I would really disagree. DH keen to move there but the hippy druggy vibe puts me off, along with the lack of activities for teens.

Not if you've ever lived in London!!

I agree for the same reasons. We have a decent and safe his service which has been very useful for teenagers.

They have a good social life in a beautiful area and will all go / now are at university.

I love this peaceful area. You can Google the crime statistics for any area. The worst to happen in ours was theft of tools from a garden shed in 2021.....

I'd rather they were safe and socialising.

@inloveandmarried that's cool! Unfortunately we still have murders and muggings / handbag snatching. Albeit not as frequent as London but certainly frequent enough.

We've had a lot of violent break ins locally in recent years. 😞

How about Chippenham? Just over an hour on the train to Paddington, half an hour to Bristol, ten mins to Bath or Swindon. The high street and shopping centre is a bit drab but there are lovely parks and lots going on for families. Loads of new housing going up too.

What about Southampton? Two unis, plenty going on, good shopping and fairly quick to London. The northern suburbs are attractive, well wooded and very reasonably priced compared with Winchester to the north, New Forest nearby.

Exeter, Bristol, Bristol, Exeter, Bristol, Exeter.

There is another city down here you know. PLYMOUTH. 😁

Regenerating rapidly (thanks all London artists etc.), Big civic events calendar, parks, Life centre, beaches and countryside and moors on the doorstep.

Yes, bit rough in parts but it's great.