Escape from the country (lighthearted support thread!)

[Onebigmistake]

We moved from London 10 years ago to the countryside. We're surrounded by small towns, rural life and beaches - which was idyllic until the children became preteens.

Now it's just deprivation, dreary, nothing to do, jobless, no buses, empty highstreets and even the schooling has gone down hill. (SW England)

We would LOVE to move back to London but we've priced ourselves out. We can never afford to move back.

Has anyone else made this mistake?

I really need to reframe it. We were all happy until the children reached 10 / 11 ish. I was also made redundant and cant find a similar role in the entire county. It sucks..... (obviously lots of work in London with decent salaries too! But none offer remote working)

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else had regrets about moving from city to rural? And how do you cope? What did you do? 😊

(We're from rural SW but seem to prefer city life)

I'd love to get on a train and be in Bristol in an hour ish. Or London in 2 hours.

Paddington from here is 6 hours!

We're in the Forest of Dean (only just though) and can easily get to Bristol, Cheltenham and Cardiff as well as Monmouth, Chepstow etc. We moved from the Bristol area and love where we are now as we find it the perfect balance of country living but with everything on our doorstep.

I’m thinking you might possibly get something in Stroud area for that budget, you would have Bristol, Cheltenham and Gloucester close by. Paddington would be 1.5 - 2 hours on the train.

Wouldn't recommend Frome btw.
Ageing hippy druggy vibe.

I understand you. Many romanticise moving to the country.

Every single one of my siblings and cousins left the countryside whether for work, things to do etc.

It can be very depressing for teens and adults.

There's not even a local 5-a-side football club for men within an hour's drive of where I was brought up. There's not much to do at all.

Yes there are walks but they get repetitive and boring! Most people just stay inside their homes each evening.

It can be hard to make friends, get well paid work etc in areas like these.

Lots going on for kids in that area though (hopefully not just drugs 😉)

This thread has made me realise that it isn't the countryside itself.

Its the proximity to cities that we need!

We value space and quiet. But a 30 minute drive to the bright lights of wherever would be awesome for the whole family.

Or even a 30 minute commute to somewhere full of jobs! 😍

Look on the Exeter/Waterloo train line

Exeter is quite small and parochial but has a John Lewis and an Urban Outfitters! Lots going on there and Topsham has loads of lovely indie shops.

I moved from Bristol to Swansea and love it. We have the beaches plus nearby mountains but the benefits from an albeit small city - 3 theatres, arena, leisure centres plus climbing centres etc, music events in Singleton park etc. 40 minutes or so from Cardiff as shopping is poor. 2 decent universities and colleges. decent school. 90 minutes to Bristol. And importantly, cheaper house prices.
Love Cornwall but Pembs is similar and Cornwall is so far away.

Honestly Cornwall is so bleak in winter, constantly shrouded in mizzle with very little to define the seasons. Devon /Somerset and upwards is much less bleak, has slightly clearer seasons because it has more woodland and is obviously an hour or so closer to the South East, faster train journeys, easier access to airports and more to do. Still has beaches and also has moorland and can easily drive to the Cornish beaches for day trips. If you are that unhappy consider moving upwards a bit, maybe towards Exeter or Taunton.

For pre teens and teens living near Exeter there's Haldon Forest which is great for mountain biking. Loads of skate parks and BMX parks. Exeter has a few theatres, including the one at the Uni. Lots of venues for gigs. Exeter is 40 ish mins from Plymouth with access to more gig venues /theatres. Climbing centres all over the place, opportunities for lots of outdoorsy stuff on Dartmoor. Good for rugby too.

Exeter looks amazing!

Can I move there tomorrow? I don't think our budget would stretch too far though

(Unless I somehow secured a job there and worked remotely before actually moving. Which would give me a budget of about 380k - but that's unlikely. We'll have to move first!)

I moved to the SW after living abroad for 10 years.

I feel some of this but I'm not rural.

Plus points, my DC loves their school. They have plenty to do and find it easy to make friends.

I however haven't been so lucky. My business has failed and I have been unable to find a job in retail, admin or hospitality after searching for a year.

One potential employer wrote SINGLE MUM in block capitals at the top of her notes and several others have commented on my age.

I'm not far from Exeter and it's nowhere near as vibrant as people think and there's businesses closing all the time. I saw soup kitchens set up in the street last time I was there and I wasn't expecting that.

I love my house and I love the area but I did think it would be easier for me to settle here. I'm not far from the coast either but the local coastal towns are a bit bleak unless it's the height of summer and all the other local hot-spots are crowded even out of season but I wonder isn't it the same story everywhere?

Ie. Town is mainly charity shops and cafés that's every UK high street isn't it?

Wow @mrsnec - this is similar to my experience job hunting too / businesses.

It's a very backwards mentality in some respects. Discrimination happens and its considered "normal". Whereas elsewhere, its more diverse & we're less likely to experience discrimination.

One of Exeters main recruiters has just replied to an application of mine explaining that I'm not an ideal candidate due to my extensive experience. What she means is - I'm too old.

I have the exact experience requested. I didn't want apply - yanno being barely over NMW but I did anyway.

(It's put me off Exeter completely)

Town is mainly charity shops and cafés that's every UK high street isn't it?

We don't even have cafes anymore. They all closed at 3pm and on random days of the week then complained about the lack of custom / people going to Costa. (Because Costa is open!)

We have gambling, arcades and a couple of charity shops. That's about it x

@Onebigmistake that's rubbish but don't let it put you off.

I'm between Bristol and Bath in a town called Keynsham. Its big enough for a few shops including Tesco, Waitrose, Iceland and Sainsburys, Peacocks,takeaways etc. Also on the main rail line between Bristol, London , Weymouth and Cardiff to name a few. Not big enough for a cinema or bowling alleys but only a 10 minute drive away

@Onebigmistake Yes that's my experience as well and I'm registered with a couple of agencies in Exeter and have been told exactly the same! Exeter is commutable from here but so is Plymouth and the Torbay and South Hams region so I chose it thinking I'd have more scope in terms of work. How wrong was I?

I interviewed for a part time accounts administration position. Nearest I've got to an offer so far but they wanted Sage and payroll qualifications for £10 an hour. And this is a big local organisation!

I've had the over experience as well!

And I didn't qualify for grants for my business because of my age too!

I'm 45!

Wow oh my goodness! I bet its the same recruiter.

I applied for a job at Stovax via a recruiter and the recruiter said I'm too old. The role required a degree and 5 years experience for £21000!! Shocking.

What about Reading?

Not quite a city but it has a vibrant town centre with a lovely park and Abbey Ruins in the centre, and the miles of Thames riverside around Caversham are glorious. A lively arts scene with lots going on for families and adults.
It is brilliant for getting into London - it's the last stop on the Elizabeth Line - frequent trains so you can be there in around 30 minutes.
The south coast is easily day-tripable, as is the New Forest, Oxford, and the Cotswolds. Direct trains to Bath (takes about an hour I think) make another easy day trip.

Henley on Thames is just a 15 minute drive, and the riverside at Sonning, with the Mill Theatre and lovely pubs / restaurants, is just 5 minutes outside of Reading.
And village life and proper countryside is all around, just over the border in Oxfordshire.

Oh god I would love Reading! I think it's out of my budget though 😢

Unless I can find a remote role there first and move up after my probation? My salary is Reading would be about 30k! I'll have a look at jobs!

Thanks everyone :) solidarity!

I don't think so!!