I think I hate my new house

[NewHomeRegret]

DH and I have just got the keys for our new home yesterday and went round after work to have a first nosey. We haven’t seen it since our rushed, ten minute viewing back in April. When I opened the door last night my heart sank, so much more needs doing than we originally noticed. The biggest things are the bathroom and kitchen both looked much more outdated and tired than I had previously spotted and I just want to rip them both out immediately. Also the front door is old and wooden, and needs replacing. The smaller things are that we suddenly noticed that we hate the colour of the living room carpet and the walls (both neutral, but bleugh). The blinds and curtains at all windows are a bit manky. The windows look very old and someone has obviously repainted the frames and got brown paint on the edges of the windows and a few electrical switches need replacing. I didn’t tell DH at the time but I couldn’t wait to go back ‘home’ to our smaller rented property. I got to work this morning and cried thinking WTF have I done. Maybe it’s because we went round last night in the dark, and although the lights work the house felt dark and cold with nothing in it?
I’m trying to think of the positives which are obviously we are now homeowners and not at the mercy of a landlord anymore, we have 3 bedrooms not two, we have a downstairs loo and a garage. We also have space for a proper dining table and chairs. The kitchen is also a bit bigger than my current one.

I should get my rental deposit back which I think was about £1000 which I want to spend on a new front door so at least entering the house itself will be more pleasant. Doing other things though will take time to save up for and I feel panicky at waiting ages to get the house right.

Has anyone else felt like this, please someone tell me it gets better? Any ideas of what I can do to help this house feel better while I wait to improve it?

I felt like that when I bought my first property, but you're bound to. When you looked round it probably looked 'lived in' and like a home. It's empty and cold right now, but you get to make it your home. It will take a while for it to feel like home but you will get there.

Congratulations on becoming a home owner

Not me but some friends bought their 'dream one' last year and it wasn't till moving in day that they started to see all the things they didn't see at 2 viewings. The biggest was an overpowering musty smell that the vendors must have disguised with plug ins and air freshener. My friend cried her eyes out...but fast forward 12 months and once again, it's their 'dream home'. Loads of stuff needs doing but a really good deep clean made a world of difference. They soap scrubbed and painted the walls, ripped up the musty carpet and laid new wood flooring. All of those things meant they didn't notice the ageing bathroom and kitchen so much and are happy to save it up and do it in phases.

I think your first big job is to give it a huge deep clean, scrub everything in sight, paint (if you can afford it) and those two things should help you to start to feel better about it.

This is very normal. It gets better. Moving is unsettling then added to that once furniture has been removed the place will feel old and unwelcoming and you notice all the scuffs and dodgy fix-it jobs that all houses have. It's weird.

But don't worry! You will put your mark on it (you don't need to fix everything at once) and soon it will start to feel like home.

This is normal and even has a name - it's called "buyer's remorse". It will go!
Any house looks weird and cold when empty and all the flaws normally hidden by furniture and personal items become glaringly obvious. If I emptied my house it would look nothing like my home! Don't worry about wall colours etc. they are quick and easy to change when you're ready (I advise waiting until you feel less emotional to do that). When your furniture is in it will look completely different.
My advice to make it feel like home is to throw a party (or dinner party) and have loads of friends round for food, drink, music and chat. It works! Also put plenty of pictures up on the walls as it always seems to take ages to get around to that and IMO it makes it feel much more like home

This is a really common feeling, but don't worry - you will make it feel like home.

The walls will be quick and easy to paint - if you do those early on it will make a big difference to how it all feels.

God yes, I fell in love with ours at first sight, but when the sellers had taken all their beautiful antique and unique furniture etc out I realised on visiting how much work was required, I honestly thought god what a mistake I’ve made.

yes it’s taken a lot of work , time, money, sweat and tears, but a lot of fun along the way and it’s beautiful , I love it here.

you just need to work your way through it, doesn’t matter how many years it takes.

I totally felt like this when I bought my house.

I had to downsize after a divorce. I left my large fashionably decorated family home and bought a tiny 2 up 2 down. It needed sooooo much work done on it and I hated it. Now almost 3 years later I absolutely love it and can't believe it's mine!

You will love it when you've given it a good clean and started putting your own touches in!!

Congratulations on your new home!

It’s easy to scrape paint off window glass, use a straight-edged razor blade like the one for ceramic hobs. Wash the curtains when it’s a dry day.

Absolutely normal way to feel. Take some photos so you can look back and be proud of your improvements.

I feel like this and still do 18 months on.

The house was all our savings and supposed to be our dream home. It’s cold, damp feeling (no actual damp) and just tired. Everything needs doing (windows, roof, kitchen, bathrooms, flooring, decorating) and living in a tired old dump every day is depressing.

With the financial crisis looming we now don’t want to spend our remaining savings on renovating.

I want to sell and live somewhere smaller warm and snug. The stamp duty alone was over £100k so no chance.

I feel so ridiculous like I’m complaining my tiara is too tight and I’ve never said it out loud to anyone…it causes arguments between me and DH.

The property industry is mad. Choosing a HOME on a maximum of two or three short viewings - it’s just a crazy system. You ought to be able to stay over for a week!!

Also, doing it in stages is fine. I've been in my house for 4 years now and it's half done, but this is somewhere I want to live for the long term so I'd rather do it right than do it quickly.

Do the bits you can, a lick of paint and a new carpet will make it feel so much better. Moving house is like moving into someone else's space, someone you don't like much. Think of it along the lines off, a new kitchen and bathroom, albeit a fair few months off, will be your choice, no more living with someone else's choices.

I felt a bit like this too. Not helped by the fact it was filthy and mouse infested when we moved in.
I'd do

• really good clean
• put pictures up (even if going to decorate soon) to make it feel more like yours
• get one room reasonably sorted eg living room so you can sit in it and relax and shut the door. Things like nice lighting (candles, lamps) and decor bits like cushions and throws really help

Currently sort of feeling the same. 2 months down the line and it has really helped to do as a PP suggested - got a cosy sitting area sorted out which we put our energy into and it's just somewhere 'safe' to retreat to until we get the rest sorted. Lots of photos up helps too. Best of luck, what you're feeling is totally normal. I've done this 3 times now and it's the same every time.

I could have written this post myself back in February when DP and I bought our first house together. I loved the house when we viewed it, but seeing it empty made me feel so deflated. I actually cried multiple times about how much I hated it and just wanted to go back to my little flat. It didn't last for long, we spent the first 2 weeks really cracking on with as much as we could, unpacked as quickly as possible and painted and now it feels like home and I love being there.

As PPs have said, giving it a good clean really helps, and I also found making a list of everything that needed doing in each room really helpful too.

It will look a lot better with your furniture and stuff around.

Empty houses are not the most welcoming of places.
Clean it now, move your furniture in (or, if you can find the time, paint some of it before you move in - DH and I painted the 2 worst rooms the cheapest white we could buy the weekend between getting the keys and moving in - it made a massive difference.)

We've also just replaced the front door(viewed in April, moved in August), and are now working on saving for a bathroom.

House owning is a constant cycle of maintenance and upgrades. Take your time and do it right, rather than trying to do everything right away. I'm getting good at ignoring the hideous wallpaper on all the hallways that I said needed to go instantly!!

Congratulations on your first house.

What you are experiencing is totally normal - I remember feeling the same when I looked around at the matted carpets and handle-less doors and missing bannisters. But once I stripped out everything that could go, I felt better about it. I am so, so grateful that I bought it now.

This is really great advice.

We moved a month ago and had the same feeling, not helped by the fact the boiler packed in a week later and we discovered some botched plumbing. And the door handles keep breaking.

But I put pictures up last week and it immediately felt more like our house. (Boiler and plumbing problems are fixed too.)

Houses do look sad until you get your furniture in. It will feel better.

It is very common to feel this way when you move house. Bear in mind that all the things you find off-putting are things that can easily be changed, though you may have to wait and save up to do them. It would be much worse if you suddenly realised you hated the area or your neighbours or the house was too small.

100% this! The day we moved into our cottage, DH and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The previous owner had done an amazing job at covering up a million tiny flaws (and some glaring ones) and without any stuff in the house it looked so tired and grim.
We're working our way through the renovations that are needed and doing a lot of DIY ourselves to save money, and we're much happier with the property now, but I definitely learned some lessons about just how sneaky sellers will be when trying to hide flaws and if we do eventually move, I'll have a much more critical eye with the next place!
When I was telling my mum about it, she said it has always been like this, but with the huge sums of money involved nowadays to get on the property ladder, it can feel so over-whelming and I think she's right. Our deposit was relatively small at £22k, but still, that is £22k that we scrimped and saved for years to get and a felt like a huge sum of money to put down only to discover broken floorboards, a funny smell that took ages to budge, a broken stop-cock, and all the other little problems!
It will all be OK, OP, but I'm sending you massive hugs while you find your way through the tricky early days.

My dad bought a house without my mother and when she saw it for the first time she cried and cried

when she left the house 8 years later she cried and cried

youll put your mark on it and feel so much better in time.

💐

When we got the keys we realised, like you, that there was way more to do when we viewed it. Think of it as a project to make it your own and live in it first so you can get ideas of how you want to change it. We are coming up on the 2 years since moving in and we have just finished the downstairs and have one more thing to do upstairs.

It feels so much better than the 1970's simulator we moved into.

We moved last july and i had not noticed that every single room was covered with wood chip

its taken hours to removed…probably days if you added them all up

I was exactly the same when we got the keys to our first home after over 20 years in rented. It was a dark dingy evening and all I could hear was next door playing music really loudly and how dirty the place was.
The next day I took my mum to have a look around, and she was much more upbeat. It helped it was sunny and she walked around with me just saying she'd help with xyz. We then went outside and there was a little sun dog above the house. I felt much better and could see again what I saw when we first viewed, and how the house will eventually look.
I think also where we had lived in our previous place for such a long time, albeit a shit hole that needed so much work that our landlord wouldn't do, but our kids grew up there, we had so many memories from pre marriage and kids, and I guess the apprehension of living somewhere new.
We have been here almost 6 years now and it still needs loads of work, but it is home. Apart from a few neighbour niggles, we love it. I hope it happens to you too. Can you picture why you wanted to buy the house in the first place? That might help you get back the feeling.

Its a horrible feeling especially whdn dark n damp....if you have the time i would clean as much as you can before getting furniture in...
Paint one room a cheerful colour or a colour you like...even if you change your mind later that 1st step is great..
Tins of emulsion are relatively cheap .... then step by step ...
Front doors can be dxpensive to replace so would think about budget vs value.... could you just sand it/ clean it paint a nicer colour change door furniture
Probably less than £100..

We haven't had a quote less than 2.5k to replace ours ...due dodgy frame/non standard size ..so repainted and got new door furniture which cheered it up....whilst we save...

Also nice smells if thats your thing...scent can make a massive difference...

Best of luck ...it'll be yours now....and you can hang what you like when you like!