I think I hate my new house

[NewHomeRegret]

DH and I have just got the keys for our new home yesterday and went round after work to have a first nosey. We haven’t seen it since our rushed, ten minute viewing back in April. When I opened the door last night my heart sank, so much more needs doing than we originally noticed. The biggest things are the bathroom and kitchen both looked much more outdated and tired than I had previously spotted and I just want to rip them both out immediately. Also the front door is old and wooden, and needs replacing. The smaller things are that we suddenly noticed that we hate the colour of the living room carpet and the walls (both neutral, but bleugh). The blinds and curtains at all windows are a bit manky. The windows look very old and someone has obviously repainted the frames and got brown paint on the edges of the windows and a few electrical switches need replacing. I didn’t tell DH at the time but I couldn’t wait to go back ‘home’ to our smaller rented property. I got to work this morning and cried thinking WTF have I done. Maybe it’s because we went round last night in the dark, and although the lights work the house felt dark and cold with nothing in it?
I’m trying to think of the positives which are obviously we are now homeowners and not at the mercy of a landlord anymore, we have 3 bedrooms not two, we have a downstairs loo and a garage. We also have space for a proper dining table and chairs. The kitchen is also a bit bigger than my current one.

I should get my rental deposit back which I think was about £1000 which I want to spend on a new front door so at least entering the house itself will be more pleasant. Doing other things though will take time to save up for and I feel panicky at waiting ages to get the house right.

Has anyone else felt like this, please someone tell me it gets better? Any ideas of what I can do to help this house feel better while I wait to improve it?

Ditto here. 120k in stamp duty so we can’t move but I miss my warmer smaller previous home. We also can’t do anything to the house now we are worrying about the world economy. But I keep telling myself that my old home took ages to feel homey and we will get there.

Don't look at colours - easily changed
Don't look at flaky paint - easily rectified
Don't look at grime - easily cleaned
Don't look at dirty blinds - easily replaced.

It's all cosmetic and irrelevant.

Look at room sizes
Look at ceiling heights
Look at windows
Look through windows
Look at the way the house flows
Look at the front of your new home
Listen the sound of the front door closing behind you (ps. Wood? Great - why wouldn't you want a wooden door?)

These are the things that your home is made of. It will be fine

I felt like this when we bought our house too! We did as others have suggested, slapped up a colour we liked in lounge and made it cosy, and we are doing everything else bit by bit as we can afford to do it properly. Everything but the kitchen will be done by early next year. That is just getting funky lino and a paint job for now, but goodness knows if the horrible old units will survive until we can do it properly. But it doesn't matter, I love our home now

It's a common feeling. We make the decision to buy a property so quickly that there are bound to be some unpleasant surprises once you have been given the key and see it all empty in the harsh light of day. I've only ever loved one house immediately (my current one) - all the others held various disappointments for me when we moved in, and one in particularly seemed dark and depressing until we painted in light colours and had patio doors installed in the living room to bring in more light. Despite some initial misgivings, they all looked great by the time we came to sell, with a few largely cosmetic improvements.

Hope your family are nice and positive on Saturday, and that you bond with your new house soon. There was a reason you chose it, so there will be many positives.

I had this in our current house. We moved from a really lovely (but tiny) little Victorian end of terrace which was immaculate to a soulless 1970's semi which hadn't been decorated for 20 years and, once the seller's furniture was out, looked dirty and shabby.

It does take time to make a home feel like yours. My advice - decorate the lounge as soon as you can afford to. It's the room you spend all evening and weekends in, it's the room you entertain in. Once the lounge feels like it's yours, you have a space that is soothing. Everything else will take time.

And focus on the reasons why you choose that house - spacious layout? Good location? Decent garden? Whatever is important to you.

Congrats on being a homeowner.

Yep same thing happened to us in February,kitchen is knackered as is the bathroom,house needs re pointing,thing is we didn’t want a do er upper,we just don’t have the spare funds at the minute…also the house has bad condensation….and mice!!!

We had this earlier this year. The walls and floors were neutral so we expected a lick of paint to do at our leisure.
Once it was emptied, we realised how much work was needed. It's cost a fortune so far with new heating and electrics, plastering and painting. We've also had to replace so many broken things we didn't budget for; washing machine, fridge freezer, shower, leaking stop tap.
However, it's a labour of love and the house is starting to look and feel like home.

What's the objection to the old wooden door? They are classic and desirable, and can easily be refurbished.

That's the last thing I'd spend money on if many cosmetic changes are needed. Just polish it up or paint it.

It’s not a nice, old solid wooden door with character. It’s seen better days, its a bit battered about, the lock is flimsy and it seems thin and draughty. It just makes the whole front of the house looks drab and uncared for. tempted to upload a photo

One thing I would say is I agree with others about taking your time.

We spent about 8 weeks living at home while renovating the bulk of what was needed in our house. It was great in that I didn't have to live in a very dated house through things like a rewire. But in hindsight it's probably been a bit costly as there are things we did that really should have been done differently, had we taken some time to live in the house and get a proper feel for it (eg there is a wall that needs to come down).

Even after all the work, that first night when I could hear next door and all the weird noises, I felt like I'd never feel at home. That does pass. Congratulations on your new home, try not to worry too much you'll get there.

Upload a picture of the door if you're happy to OP. I wouldn't splurge on a new front door if the old one would look ok with a lick of paint and new furnishings. As long as it's sturdy enough to do the job. There will be so many things you want to replace, carpets would come before doors for me.

Yes, door photo, please! That was the first thing that struck me about your post: don’t spend £1k on a door when you can revamp a wooden door so easily. Ours was AWFUL looking but a sand, prime and paint job, and updating to new locks and letterbox etc, and it was so much better.

Blah neutral paint jobs and carpets are much more easily dealt with than wacky colours.

Live with it all for a bit and start making wish lists of what you would do had you world enough and time (and money). Stuff that bothers you on the first day tends to fade and other stuff jumps out.

Curtains are easily replaced: try eBay, FB Marketplace, Olio, etc, for bargains.

Spend your 1000 pounds deposit on paint, curtain dry cleaning, and a handful of cheerful, coulour coordinated cushions, rugs, prints and throws, and a bunch of (fake) flowers in a nice vase, and with your furniture, it will be a total transformation! Feel lucky that you have a wooden front door, and don't change it for a new PVC one. Plastic will get grubby quickly and there is nothing you can do to spruce it up, but a tired wooden door will look a million dollars after a new lick of paint.

Agree; not to obsess over the door but give it a chance before spending a lot of money to replace it. There are so many other things you'll need to finance and the door is an easy DIY project.

It's just decor. Get a grip! Is it in the right location? If so pretty much everything else can be changed.

I’m currently clearing out my parent’s house as it’s sold and I already feel so sorry for the buyers. It is obviously a do-er-upper and it looked pretty shabby anyway but it will look awful once it’s completely empty. They know the actual houses very well as the husband was brought up around the corner but I know I’d feel so miserable moving in to this a month before Christmas. But I’m sure once they renovate and decorate it will be lovely.

I'm glad I found this thread. We moved house 3 months ago, and it still doesn't feel like home and makes me so sad on a daily basis.
We left our last place immaculately clean and in such good condition. Arrived here to filth, smells and so many things covered up for the viewings. There are structural issues that haven't been picked up in a level 3 survey and every time we have trades round to discuss work to the place, they are genuinely shocked at the condition that the previous owners have left the place in.
Due to the market being wild last year, we paid over the asking price to secure it and felt like it was the best we were going to get in the area within our budget. I now have huge regrets and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I would love to know how the OP is getting on now!

Deep breath
One room at a time

Op, you've got three bank holiday weekends and we're just coming into summer. Give the place a thorough clean, throw all the windows open and make it smell fresh.

Make a list of jobs, room by room.

Get your bedroom straight first- a fresh coat of paint, clean the carpet and window surrounds, put the old curtains in the wash and put up some voiles in the short term.

It will feel better soon 🙂

I stood in the garden and cried when we moved in. Everything needed doing. What worked for us was getting just one room nice as quickly as possible - doesn't need to be perfect or have much money spent, just painted a colour we liked and clean. We hated the carpet so ripped it out and just had floorboards with an Ikea rug for a while. Put some pictures up/your things out so it feels more like yours. Personally I'd do the living room first as that's where we spend quite a lot of time. I love it now.

I had this feeling, we only had 1 rushed viewing and then realised that a few more things needed doing than initially seemed. However I still feel like you do 2 years on, but it is because of location - I like the actual house (and we have made it “our own”) but wish I could lift it up and plonk it in the centre of town rather than on our sad estate! The bigger jobs are not worth doing (like new windows etc) because the ceiling price isn’t that high - I want to save up, sell up and move on. Also I didn’t realise the amount of maintenance you have to do, sort of wishing I had bought a flat…..

It's natural to want to redecorate when you move in. The fact that everything looks a bit tired and ready for renewal just means that you have the opportunity to make your mark on it and do things your way.
And you don't need to rush into that. Take your time, get a feel for what would work, and do it a bit at a time at a pace that makes it enjoyable and affordable.

In the short-term, little things like moving your stuff in, choosing new lampshades, rugs, etc, will help the house warm to you. But it's yours for a long time. It doesn't have to be instant love or instant perfection.

Never experienced this. We have only afforded doer uppers,last 2 empty as the previous owners had died. We never rushed though. Two good long viewings, working out what we would need or want to do. Also drove by different times of day/night to check out the neighbourhood. Knocked on doors, asked questions. Day we moved in here,16th December,it was snowing, didn't know how to light the boiler, went to bed at 8.30 with an electric blanket.

We felt like this with our house! We’d bought after a few years in lovely rented flats and suddenly found ourselves in a musty, old, tired dump. Like you we had a downstairs toilet and garage but they felt like the ONLY benefits!! Fast forward a decade or so and this house has been restored back to its 1930s gorgeousness and we have loved living here. The house now is unrecognisable as that old-fashioned place we first got the keys to. We have actually just sold it and I have a heavy heart at the thought of moving. It has been the happiest home!

@ItsRosieMay i could have written your post. We did this last year. The house we left was bleached top to bottom, literally ready to move into. The house we bought was disgusting, old toilet brush left, dust and years of filth everywhere (bought in the peak and had a group viewing with about 15 other people so didn’t notice). Kitchen needed ripping out straight away, it was mouldy and shortly after we moved in we discovered a leak that had been there for years, and a host of other things that weren’t picked up on the survey. Fast forward a year and the house looks completely different- it’s not perfect by any means but it is liveable and a million miles away from what it was. Honestly, give it time. I wanted to remarket it straight away but couldn’t afford another load of solicitors fees etc. now I don’t feel desperate to move and it does feel like home.