Where would you move with young kids? (Devon, elsewhere?)

[Dreamingofasmallholding]

Hi,

We are a couple in our 30s with young children currently living in the South East. Where we live is lovely (we are already in a small, very pretty, semi rural village with a great community feel) but probably among the most expensive places in the country outside of London. I am a hospital doctor and my husband WFH, so we could work from more or less anywhere in the country and make the same money - living where we do is beginning to feel needlessly expensive.

We have long considered realising our dream of working less and living "The Good Life" / giving our kids an idyllic countryside childhood on a chunk of land somewhere quite rural, and for a long time thought about achieving this in South Wales.

My parents own their house outright which has become enormously valuable over their 40 years of ownership, and are willing to combine their now considerable resources with our somewhat more meagre ones so that we would be in a position to jointly buy a dream property (eg a multi generational one with a house for them, and a house for us, and a generous amount of land etc).

(The context behind this is that my sibling lives with my parents and has a developmental disability so part of this is about future-proofing for my parents' potential frailty. The idea being my sibling will have a comfortable and secure future living in close proximity to family, my parents would have a wonderful retirement with their grandchildren and us close at hand, and my husband and I would have a better lifestyle, in effect benefitting from a large inheritance (hopefully long) before my parents' time is actually up. Without such a plan, it feels that the care of my parents and sibling is all going to fall on my shoulders with my parents an uncomfortable >1 hour drive away in a house that's increasingly unsuitable, and with myself and husband still working lots to make ends meet).

Obviously this whole plan involves a scary level of commitment, and the feeling we've got to get it right first time and choose the "right place" as it's not like selling up and moving again would be straightforward if it didn't work out. We are thinking of doing this when the kids are still infant school age. My parents aren't keen on Wales (or anywhere to the North of London for that matter), they want somewhere "sunny" eg they want the South West. We've loved holidaying in Devon and Cornwall but I understand living there can be very different.

There are so many potentials it's a bit paralysing (!) but we'd be looking for the right multigenerational property (which can be few and far between), in or very near to a friendly village with a good primary school, a short commute from a hospital (with an A&E), a short or reasonable commute to a decent secondary school and not in an area totally devoid of anything to do as a family (where we live we are already used to driving often 40-60 mins for a day out, or 20 minutes to the nearest town with a swimming pool, so that's not such a problem but don't want to be much more remote than that and would like sports clubs and lessons for kids, stuff like that).

At the moment our attention is focused on North Devon (maybe a bit inland to avoid the most tourist-overwhelmed areas) and have found examples of the right sort of dreamy multigenerational properties in that region within our budget (not looked in great detail though yet). But where would you be looking at in our position?

We really appreciate how lucky we are to even consider all of this, and your help / suggestions. Thank you

I don't think that your parents desire for somewhere sunny is practical when you're looking at this home as being your children's place to grow up/be teenagers.

Typically, the sunny spots in the UK are also not super practical for families and have a lot of poverty due to the work being seasonal.

Unless you're a professional of course. The fact is that if your DC grow up in Cornwall or Devon you'll probably have to pay for private schools for them...unless you're happy for them to attend schools in which the demographic is less than idea. I'm not being snobby, just realistic.

I wouldn't look for the ideal place in the West but in the North West. Cheshire being much more suitable in my opinion.

There are lots of beautiful, rural places there which don't cost the earth but are close to good schools and other things which growing families need.

No advice about where to live but really admire that as a family you are considering everyone's current and future needs. Don't forget to look at potential locations through the eyes of teenagers as well as small kids.

@fortunesfave is not correct about needing to pay for private school in Devon or Cornwall. The schools in this area are fine! Certainly no worse than the schools anywhere else in the country. There is a mix but there are a lot of excellent ones.

I'd consider living near to Exeter, or perhaps Weymouth? Both have good hospitals and good schools and you could live 20/30 minutes away and have land and a lovely village life. Would be nearish to the coast too even if you live inland.

I echo what others have said about considering teenagers. Try and get some public transport nearby

Beaford

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/117033896

Decent private school up the lane and Barnstable or Exeter for work

Two properties for £750 both with ample space rather than a larger property and smaller annex

East Devon or Exeter.

There's some good secondary schools in east Devon. Lots of clubs and groups for all ages. Fabulous outdoor lifestyle.

Before you look at locations, you need to understand ,eg ally how this would be structured. What would happen in the event of a divorce when four people (potentially 5) are all housed and have legal claims.

Devon and Cornwall are lovely but for six plus months of the year are rammed with tourists. Moving about is a nightmare. The idealic trip to the beach which is rammed?

You need to all go on holiday there and look at the same time in peak season and get a feel for it.

South Wales - aside from working in the health service, taking elderly parents to live somewhere which has an awful level of healthcare (far worse than England) isn't in my view a good idea and with older parents?

What would happen financially if one or both parents needed to go in a home? Would the house the need to be sold?

If needing decent health care is on the horizon, then not N Devon. NDDH is awful. Further south definitely.

I'm from the less than ideal demographic BTW, and went to an extremely bog standard comp. Despite this hideous start in life I am OK.

Devon has some excellent schools eg colyton grammar is one of the top schools in the uk and Exeter college is rated outstanding by Ofsted - just two examples.

Wiltshire??? Easy train travel if near Chippenham swindon both east and west. Good schools, can achieve the same level of ruralisation. I imagine much cheaper than Cornwall.

I realise this isn't what you were asking about but you should also think about your parents expectations of you and what you are prepared to do. If you move to a very rural area, your parents may become dependent on you to drive them everywhere and your brother may lose a lot of independence too

I don't have a great relationship with my mother so maybe my view is clouded by that but this arrangement sounds great for your parents but like it sets you up for decades of caring and your DH for never getting time away from his in laws.

I think you are balancing a lot of people's needs in this move - are you sure rural is the way to go? It sounds like you'd be adding more hassle and driving to your life.

If it's nice scenery you're after, why not go for a better connected town in a nice location? There are lots up north but are not exactly what I'd call "sunny"

Move to Devon! I would suggest somewhere within 10/15 miles of Exeter or East Devon.

The benefit of living in Devon is that you don’t go to the beach/Dartmoor/attractions when everyone else does as it’s 20/30 minutes away so if you get a sunny day you just go! Whereas the feast of the country has to wait for the school holidays.

Not what you asked but I would get some legal advice about this.
Personally I would be very cautious, you are describing this in very idealist terms.
What happens if your DS or DP need extensive/ expensive longterm care?
You divorce, a DP dies and the other remarries?

It could be considered deprivation of assets or a charge placed on the property in terms of longterm care.
Pp is correct , there would be several parties involved and its not just a case of it being an early inheritance for you.

Sorry to burst the bubble but you are describing dreamy properties and describing being lucky.
Theres a whole other complicated side to this type of dream.

On location, I definitely wouldn't rule out Devon, Cornwall or Dorset. There are lots of lovely areas with good schools to consider.

For Dorset, I would look around Weymouth, Bridport and Dorchester.

Decent schools, good amenities in the towns but you can live fairly rural. There's an A&E dept in Dorchester.

@fortunesFave. How can you say you're not snobby when your telling someone they must educate privately to avoid the demographic in state schools? You are a snob. And a misinformed , small minded one at that.

I grew up in rural Cornwall and left as soon as I could. It's idyllic but so boring for teenagers. If you're set on Devon I'd go for somewhere in East Devon so you're less cut off from the rest of the world. And also good transport links so your teenagers aren't dependant on the parental taxi for any sort of social life.

I do echo the concerns of the PP that you fully research and discuss the legal implications.
Who owns what, can they be sold separately if needed? What happens if you die before your parents or sister or you get divorced?

I'd aim for Exeter / Exmouth area. Decent train links and not too rural. More for teens as they get older.

OP, the only thing I would say is how are you and your DH going to manage the caring burden here ? I imagine the expectation will be for you to care for your parents as they age and then your sibling. That's a huge commitment with no distance to seperate you.

Also, what happens if you divorce or one of your parents go in a home and their stake in the property needs to pay for that? I think you need to think about the worse case scenarios and make sure you have a plan.

DH grew up in Cornwall. It's beautiful, but he had no public transport close by which meant he left as soon as he was 18. He went to local schools and did very well.

Not North Devon, you'd need to go private as the schools are very limited in what they offer. Around Exeter, Plymouth and Torbay you have much better school options.

Problem is that a multigenerational house would also work nicely for tourism lets so likely to be £££.

Not coastal but Shropshire might be worth a look, although the local NHS trust has had issues. Grammar schools at Newport, Thomas Telford School has a good reputation and for girls there is a grammar in Wolverhampton that takes from Shropshire too. We moved there from Devon and it ticked a lot of boxes but less £££ than touristy/accessible Devon.

What kind of budget do you have Op? Would you not consider just buying something larger near where you currently are but towards the coast? Or what about (in the surrounding villages to Rye, Battle, Eastbourne etc? Still very warm/sunny in Summer but without the massive amount of traffic/tourists as the South West.

As others have mentioned, you need to know what would happen should one of your parents need to go into a care home…..as it would be considered a deprivation is assets for them to sign their estate over to you. It gets very complicated. You probably need to speak to a solicitor about how the ownership of the property should be structured.

Christchurch near Bournemouth. Or Bath/Bristol area if you have the budget. There's some lovely villages nearby. I wouldn't want to be too rural if you're planning on your kids being teenagers there. And I'd always want access to a train station but that's just me.

I grew up in Sonerset, my husband grew up in Dorset. We both left asap because of lack of public transport/stuff to do, and neither of us would move back, even to an ideal house!

We now live in a rural town with a train station (I used to have to get two buses to get to a train station and sometimes mum would have to pick me up late at night if the bus didn't turn up), because I didnt want to be the taxi drive mum had been for me every day of the week while also looking after my grandma.

Will you still be happy there when your children are at university/living further away?

Also just checking you've got no other siblings who might want to inherit?