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Where would you move with young kids? (Devon, elsewhere?)

95 replies

Dreamingofasmallholding · 11/01/2022 22:02

Hi,

We are a couple in our 30s with young children currently living in the South East. Where we live is lovely (we are already in a small, very pretty, semi rural village with a great community feel) but probably among the most expensive places in the country outside of London. I am a hospital doctor and my husband WFH, so we could work from more or less anywhere in the country and make the same money - living where we do is beginning to feel needlessly expensive.

We have long considered realising our dream of working less and living "The Good Life" / giving our kids an idyllic countryside childhood on a chunk of land somewhere quite rural, and for a long time thought about achieving this in South Wales.

My parents own their house outright which has become enormously valuable over their 40 years of ownership, and are willing to combine their now considerable resources with our somewhat more meagre ones so that we would be in a position to jointly buy a dream property (eg a multi generational one with a house for them, and a house for us, and a generous amount of land etc).

(The context behind this is that my sibling lives with my parents and has a developmental disability so part of this is about future-proofing for my parents' potential frailty. The idea being my sibling will have a comfortable and secure future living in close proximity to family, my parents would have a wonderful retirement with their grandchildren and us close at hand, and my husband and I would have a better lifestyle, in effect benefitting from a large inheritance (hopefully long) before my parents' time is actually up. Without such a plan, it feels that the care of my parents and sibling is all going to fall on my shoulders with my parents an uncomfortable >1 hour drive away in a house that's increasingly unsuitable, and with myself and husband still working lots to make ends meet).

Obviously this whole plan involves a scary level of commitment, and the feeling we've got to get it right first time and choose the "right place" as it's not like selling up and moving again would be straightforward if it didn't work out. We are thinking of doing this when the kids are still infant school age. My parents aren't keen on Wales (or anywhere to the North of London for that matter), they want somewhere "sunny" eg they want the South West. We've loved holidaying in Devon and Cornwall but I understand living there can be very different.

There are so many potentials it's a bit paralysing (!) but we'd be looking for the right multigenerational property (which can be few and far between), in or very near to a friendly village with a good primary school, a short commute from a hospital (with an A&E), a short or reasonable commute to a decent secondary school and not in an area totally devoid of anything to do as a family (where we live we are already used to driving often 40-60 mins for a day out, or 20 minutes to the nearest town with a swimming pool, so that's not such a problem but don't want to be much more remote than that and would like sports clubs and lessons for kids, stuff like that).

At the moment our attention is focused on North Devon (maybe a bit inland to avoid the most tourist-overwhelmed areas) and have found examples of the right sort of dreamy multigenerational properties in that region within our budget (not looked in great detail though yet). But where would you be looking at in our position?

We really appreciate how lucky we are to even consider all of this, and your help / suggestions. Thank you

OP posts:
mrsnec · 13/01/2022 18:04

@daisyjgrey I'm guessing why it's how I feel like I've finally found my people here in Teignbridge. I fit right in!

ShanghaiDiva · 13/01/2022 20:41

@daisyjgrey

I am very much enjoying all this anecdotal chat about living in Devon. No science GCSE and farming diplomas instead? Rain 9 months a year? Secondary schools full of undesirables with half a brain and one eye. How we all survive down here in our mud huts with a reading age of 6 I'll never know.
Don’t forget no access to prompt medical care... The mind boggles!
daisyjgrey · 13/01/2022 21:03

@ShanghaiDiva

We're all just lying here in an uneducated heap, missing limbs and wondering when the people from the more developed counties will be bringing us our first taste of penicillin.

It baffles me why the county is full of tourists EVERY BLOODY WHERE all the time, considering we only have one well between us for drinking water.

Woofwoofbarkbark · 13/01/2022 21:08

I'm not even typing this myself. I had to write my message on a leaf, using the few letter I actually know. Strap it to a pigeon and send it off to a lab in London. Where they translate it to proper English and put it on the World Wide Web for me.

ShanghaiDiva · 13/01/2022 21:14

[quote daisyjgrey]@ShanghaiDiva

We're all just lying here in an uneducated heap, missing limbs and wondering when the people from the more developed counties will be bringing us our first taste of penicillin.

It baffles me why the county is full of tourists EVERY BLOODY WHERE all the time, considering we only have one well between us for drinking water.
[/quote]
I guess the poor medical care is to be expected, given the absence of science GCSEs...
Can’t imagine how much South West Water would charge us if we wanted two wells! Better to stick with one and we locals can continue take our washing down to the river and have an annual dip in the sea.

ThePurpleOctopus · 13/01/2022 21:14

Nowhere near the South-West, but we've done something similar in the last year re a multi-generational house buy, Op.

Seven of us in the house now, and it's working out really well. We looked very hard for somewhere with a main house and annex, b

ThePurpleOctopus · 13/01/2022 21:16

.....but actually ended up finding a big house that has multiple storeys. It's brilliant in terms of the grandparents watching the kids because they're not coming over from their next door/annex, but they're in the same building. Still completely different areas (floors).

Let me know if you want to chat about it more.

Lifeisnteasy · 13/01/2022 21:16

Farming diplomas instead of GCSEs I actually have tears running down my face 😆

ShanghaiDiva · 13/01/2022 21:23

@Lifeisnteasy

Farming diplomas instead of GCSEs I actually have tears running down my face 😆
including vital skills such as how to park your combine harvester in an Aldi car park and how to cure all ailments with a course of leeches.
supperlover · 13/01/2022 21:32

We moved from N.Devon to rural N. Ireland. Much less crowded ( Devon's too busy in the summer) and houses cheaper so you can get more for your bucks. Schools are good if you don't object to grammars as they have selection here. A lot of English folk are moving over here these days.

Trekkerbabe · 13/01/2022 21:33

@Slayduggee

Move to Devon! I would suggest somewhere within 10/15 miles of Exeter or East Devon.

The benefit of living in Devon is that you don’t go to the beach/Dartmoor/attractions when everyone else does as it’s 20/30 minutes away so if you get a sunny day you just go! Whereas the feast of the country has to wait for the school holidays.

Echo this. Area around Sidmouth is beautiful and very accessible. I have frequently thought about moving here. West Hill and Ottery are v nice villages to look at.

Colyton Grammar is one of the best schools in the country so the above statements about needing to go private are factually incorrect.

Exeter has an international airport and a fantastic line into London.

The hiking in East Devon and Dartmoor is really amazing. You have the entire Jurassic coast at your fingertips.

I could go on!!

daisyjgrey · 13/01/2022 21:34

@ShanghaiDiva

I've never seen a combine in Aldi but I did see a Tractor outside Tesco once. It was when we had The Big Snow of 2010 and had to use morse code to send a message to That London so we could get hay and goose fat to wrap the children in to stop them freezing to death in the fields. Luckily, times have moved on now and they're allowed one hessian sack per winter to swaddle in.

Must dash, my youngest has got a bad case of typhoid and it takes a good three days on horse back to get to the nearest apothecary for leeches. If only we had doctors! Tsk.

minipie · 13/01/2022 21:35

In your shoes OP I would tweak the dream slightly.

I would be planning to all buy your own places near each other, in a new (cheaper) area of the UK. Not one big property.

I would also be wanting my parents to invest a large portion of their house sale proceeds so that they can use it to pay for care in the future, and/or use it to support my sibling if he isn’t financially independent. I wouldn’t want it all tied up in a big dream property meaning I have to do day to day care and possibly not work as a result.

I think your version would be lovely for the next few years but could be really awful if you end up as your parents’ carer and your teens are bored on the rural smallholding.

randomsabreuse · 13/01/2022 21:36

Why is it so controversial that a small school had fewer options - and if you don't fit into the majority the subject doesn't run. Plenty of people lose out on language choices, triple science etc because blocks/numbers don't fit. In the particular year only BTEC science was offered (a while ago) - cue annoyed parents looking for a different school.

Small secondaries are a risk everywhere and funnily enough are more common in rural areas!

Needmoresleep · 13/01/2022 21:40

Near Poole, Dorset. Good hospital, grammar schools, glorious country side and beaches.

Scope for the best of both worlds. Poole has regular fast trains into London, a fair amount of cultural activity, a reasonable local bus service etc, yet some lovely chocolate box type villages within commuting distance.

Dreamingofasmallholding · 13/01/2022 21:54

Well I've had a good laugh haha

OP posts:
daisyjgrey · 13/01/2022 22:45

@randomsabreuse

Are you in Devon or Cornwall?

DistrictCommissioner · 15/01/2022 09:11

@randomsabreuse

Why is it so controversial that a small school had fewer options - and if you don't fit into the majority the subject doesn't run. Plenty of people lose out on language choices, triple science etc because blocks/numbers don't fit. In the particular year only BTEC science was offered (a while ago) - cue annoyed parents looking for a different school.

Small secondaries are a risk everywhere and funnily enough are more common in rural areas!

What school was this and when?
Flessicajetcher · 15/01/2022 19:59

[quote daisyjgrey]@ShanghaiDiva

I've never seen a combine in Aldi but I did see a Tractor outside Tesco once. It was when we had The Big Snow of 2010 and had to use morse code to send a message to That London so we could get hay and goose fat to wrap the children in to stop them freezing to death in the fields. Luckily, times have moved on now and they're allowed one hessian sack per winter to swaddle in.

Must dash, my youngest has got a bad case of typhoid and it takes a good three days on horse back to get to the nearest apothecary for leeches. If only we had doctors! Tsk. [/quote]
😂 😂 Brilliant!

Plmoknijbuhv · 23/01/2022 08:38

How about the new forest? Somewhere like Bransgore would be c.20mins to bournemouth hospital and c.40mins to Poole or Southampton hospital all with a&e department which in the longer term would give you more career options if more hospitals to choose from. The new forest is beautiful, also close to the coast for beaches. Direct train to London. Large town/cities not to far for the times you need the facilities. Also good schools

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