Should I pay my husband rent

[Gal1211]

Hi dear mums,

I moved in with my DH and he owns the flat, he purchased it before we got married and had a long term mortgage. After I got married my husband charged me 1/3 of his mortgage and after a couple of years he switched to charging me 1/2 of his interest rate. My name is not on the deed and he has full ownership of the flat. He also charges me for the cos of tv, wardrobe and other furniture around the flat (which he bought before I moved in), I’m paying him half of the value of the original price of those items. On top of that I’m paying my share of utility bills: water, electricity, ground rent, council tax, tv license etc.
I wonder how costs are shared in other marriages and what is considered reasonable in such arrangements.

I am not very comfortable contributing towards his mortgage and having no ownership at all. Also I’m not sure of him expecting em to pay for such things as tv or sofa which he bought prior me moving in is reasonable...

I hope you can share some thoughts

Thank you mums!

You are his wife, not his tenant! Charging you for the use of his furniture is just taking the biscuit tbh.
We have separate accounts ourselves, but we share all costs in equal parts (in relation to our income).
I brought a lot of our furniture into the marriage but not in a million years would I have charged my DP/ DH for usage of same!
What an awful thought!
If you wouldn’t pay up, would he demand you sit on the floor, or throw your clothes out?
Does he charge an entrance fee when you have guests around?
I wouldn’t put up with it and would seek legal advice in this case.

Good god is this real? Charging you for use of the sofa? I’ve never heard of anything so ridiculous. There’s so saving this, time to make plans to end it OP.

@SwedishK

Wow, I think I have seen it all now. What a cheapskate!

Please go out and buy a sofa, then charge him £1 per minute he sits on it.

A marriage is suppose to be a union, I don't think he has grasped that.

Definitely do the sofa thing. He's being ridiculous.

Splitting the cost of the mortgage on your marital home (that's what it is) is fine really. Charging you some weird rate for furniture he's bought and paid for years ago is plain weird.

Until the OP returns, little more can be said.

Splitting the costs of bills, mortgage fairly according to income-fine.
Charging you for use of items he bought before you moved in- not fine. Even if he bought them a week ago, he can't 'charge' you for them! I don't charge my husband £3 everytime he uses the kettle I bought last month!

I would suggest having a conversation just to understand his thought process it maybe that he has a lack of understanding when it comes to living with another person and an unidealised expectation. Some people can be very very analytical without releasing also some people can be cheap. Have a chat and go from there.

WTF have I just read. He is charging for the use of furniture! You should absolutely be sharing the cost of living, however he has gone to far and seems to be charging you for extras for profit. The home is now a martial asset so no matter what he tells you about not being on the mortgage/deeds you legally have a share in the home. He sounds unhinged-what other nonsense does he have you paying for.

To all posters that mentioned a payment plan for the furniture:

According to the OP they live together a couple of years already and she mentioned twice that the furniture he charges her for was bought BEFORE she moved in. That would mean that she didn’t have a say in the matter! HE chose to spend HIS money on these items.

I'm not sure why you're expected to pay for things he already has. New things, absolutely, but not stuff that's already there.

I paid my DH rent for his house for years. It was probably 1/3 of his total bills and covered half the utilities, council tax etc and a little bit of the mortgage. It was less than I was paying for my own place before we moved in together so still a bargain. He covered maintenance costs for things like plumbers/electricians. We bought new furniture together and things like paint etc.

My dh and I have always owned everything jointly so if I paid him rent I would be paying myself!

I don’t usually like it when people post hi mums’ etc, but don’t you think that the op has enough on her plate and that you are really quite rude? Just a thought.

Oh I have lots of thoughts.

I don't think the OP will be back. Not in this thread at any rate.....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/4248513-Mortgage-Interest-shared-cost-or-not?watched=1&msgid=107466980#107466980

[quote BaronessBomburst]I don't think the OP will be back. Not in this thread at any rate.....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/4248513-Mortgage-Interest-shared-cost-or-not?watched=1&msgid=107466980#107466980[/quote]
Well that's my thoughts confirmed.

You are married, therefore all money is family money. Your DH is totally unreasonable. If you do not sort this out now your life (and your DCs) will be a nightmare if/wnen you have children. Do you really want a man like this to be teh father of your children?

@knittingaddict Quite. MNHQ's Lily is on the case.

Posters shouldn't waste their time.

It's a theme, isn't it? An OP asks if something's unreasonable, posts an obviously unreasonable scenario, then buggers off, sometimes to start another thread.

"All that I have, I give to you"

Or

"With all my worldly goods, I thee endow"

Just sayin

My husband pays mortgage and I pay most of the bills and childcare works out roughly 50/50.

Hi everyone,

Let me say thank you so much for sharing your opinion and your experience, this has been so very eye opening.

Also, apologies for “dear mums”....

To answer your questions: my husband bought all of his furniture before I moved in and it was all fully paid by him. It’s not on finance.

When he initially asked me to pay for furniture I questioned it but he convinced me this is a normal
State of things and because I’m using let’s say his tv I should pay half of its value. After I questioned it he suggested me not paying for tv but told me not to use it if that’s what I preferred. I was very upset but didn’t want to make a fuss. So I paid.

And I have to admit for everything I paid I trusted him I was paying the right amount. Meaning what he was asking for was on the receipts. However, I never checked any of the receipts/invoices. Now I realise how silly this is. But I have recently started talking to other people about this and now am getting more support.

My husband added the cost of tv to my bill. The figure in his email
Stands £900 (me to pay 450 to him, monthly instalments over next 5 years). However when I asked him for the purchase proof today it turned out the tv was £790. And he added extra £100 for insurance on tv. This is an expensive tv, I’d never buy. It was his choice and I had no say in it. I now realise I agreed to something I should have. And this is very helpful to see that me feeling uncomfortable about this is shared with so many of you.

I come from a single parent family and never had a healthy role model of a husband. My mum brought up 4 of us by herself. I also strive to always pay my way and have no debts so initially I didn’t want my husband to think I moved on to take advantage of him so I paid.

We got married here, we are legally married, he is British and I am European with indefinite leave to remain.

As you suggested, I have arranged to speak to a solicitor this week to find out how to go forward concerning mortgage/property ownership. DH bought his property in 2015 and I moved in a year after. We got married in 2018.

OP your husband sounds very petty: I paid for tv you need to pay for it too or you are not watching it! This does not sound reasonable to me. I would seriously consider whether you are actually happy with him?

Hi OP.

I know you asked for an example what others do...

I'm married, we purchased our house together and both our names are on it. I earn less so I pay around half of what DH pays into joint account that all of our bills and mortgage come out of. We do that so we both have money left for leisure, and baby stuff but we pay baby stuff equally anyway. Everything that is a cost for baby and house is paid equally, but DH wouldn't begrudge me if I needed extra. I manage finances anyway though so he probs wouldn't notice!

I also agree with what others have said, he sounds petty and unfair. I don't see why he wouldn't want his wife's name on the house, surely he should have been thinking about this. Hopefully the solicitor will give some helpful advice

Do you charge him for sex?

Christ, imagine charging somebody for furniture which you bought for your home before you'd even embarked on the relationship you're in... I couldn't imagine such a thing!

@BruceAndNosh

Do you charge him for sex?

hahaha!

I hope the answer to this is yes...