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Original poster

Rural or village for family

29 replies

Jane3232 · 22/08/2020 00:23

We are moving to a totally new area. I have one child a three year old girl starting preschool in September.

We have fallen in love with two houses, one very rural with nothing around so would need to drive everywhere and one in the heart of a village.

I want to do the right thing for my family. If we went rural with lots of land would my only child be bored and crave the village and local friends or am I over thinking this convenience of being at the heart of a village near swings, parks,school, pub and shop?

OP posts:
PickAChew · 22/08/2020 00:27

Do you want to spend your child's childhood being a taxi service?

Shallowsubmarine · 22/08/2020 00:28

Why would you move to middle of nowhere. I have an only and we spend loads of time with friends. Big town or city I’d say

PickAChew · 22/08/2020 00:28

Keep in mind that a home is more than square footage and fancy decor.

UnconsideredTrifles · 22/08/2020 00:57

We are in a similar situation (2 small c

Haggisfish · 22/08/2020 00:58

Definitely village.

threesecrets · 22/08/2020 01:01

Is there a village school that your DD will attend? Personally I'd go with the house you love. We live in a village but DD doesn't attend the village school so it doesn't feel like we are part of the community. I'd much rather have an amazing plot and privacy

UnconsideredTrifles · 22/08/2020 01:09

Malfunctioning phone! We are in a similar situation with two young children, and have chosen to move to a village.

My eldest currently goes to nursery in a different community to our home and I think she's missed out on social things as a result! I'm looking forward to living within walking distance of the school, even though that's limited the amount of land we have available.

parietal · 22/08/2020 01:33

one of my primary criteria for buying a house is - can you walk/bike to buy a pint of milk? there are studies showing that walkable neighbourhoods make people happier and have a stronger community. If you have to get in a car every time you want one little thing, it is easy to end up isolated (or being a taxi for your kids).

KoalasandRabbit · 22/08/2020 01:56

Definitely village if it has facilities in - we moved to a village and kids go to village school and meet up with friends in the village and do clubs like air cadets and youth club in the village. Plus they love being able to walk to school and the shop and often meet at the park here. Means very little need to drive to if you have facilities there, much easier for you as well.

Original poster
Jane3232 · 22/08/2020 07:04

Thanks all. The rural house has more land so garage and outbuildings for my husband. Village house is yes within walking distance of pre school and then Primary school and also secondary and pint of milk. Sacrifice for the village one is the land and extra workshop space my husband wants. I know this sounds generous and privileged but it’s a huge move and purchase and we don’t know anyone. Plus my husband works incredibly hard for us all. Ughhh no clearly this morning

OP posts:
WoolyMammoth55 · 22/08/2020 09:17

Hi OP, we made the move out of London last year, our son is 3 too.

Obviously it's massively personal and I can see your conflict, but we chose village. Walk to nursery (school next September, yikes!) walk to shops, tiny cute library, parks swings and all the pals from nursery etc. There are lots of fun activities 5 mins walk from us and we have a couple of close friends who will pop in on their way past us door to see if we need anything/ drop a cake/ see if our boy wants to come to play, etc etc etc.

It's an easy breezy lovely life, a million miles away from London lifestyles, and we love it! But I can't imagine how lonely we'd have been if we'd isolated ourselves by buying driving distance from everywhere.

My DH works from home and has rented an office space in the village so he can focus. Things are cheap in the country and I'd say if your OH wants a workshop space there'll be plenty of folks with spaces they rent out. We have a few neighbours who actually have bought land and workshops/ outhouses in the surrounding areas, as well as their houses - I don't think land without planning permission is that expensive to buy?? Don't take my word for it :) but do look into it because there might be a way to make everyone happy.

Wish you all the best of luck!

JoJoSM2 · 22/08/2020 09:19

How do you live now? Can you walk places to do you drive for things? Do you mind?

Personally, I like to be within walking distance of amenities and would hate the lifestyle of being out in the sticks even if land and views etc were amazing.

Porridgeoat · 22/08/2020 09:20

Village.

DH can hire a workshop space or you could create one for him by building a posh shed

Porridgeoat · 22/08/2020 09:23

The independence of living in a village within walking distance of shop, park, schools will be amazing for your children. Meeting up with mates will be second nature rather then something that takes fuel and adult organisation.

custardbear · 22/08/2020 09:23

For the greater family needs I'd chose the village, your husband can build a workshop in the garden and make it work that way
We loved rurally when I was about 15- it was dreadful for me, stuck in the house when adults at work and when my DB passed his driving test I rarely saw him so that was no use either ... 2 buses a day ... awful for me as a teen

custardbear · 22/08/2020 09:24

Can we see the links to the houses by the way?

Porridgeoat · 22/08/2020 09:25

Also a night out ends with friends with a lovely walk home rather then coordinating taxiS

reefedsail · 22/08/2020 09:30

I would say definitely village. Maybe wait for a house on the edge of the village on a bigger plot so DH can build himself a workshop?

Goyle · 22/08/2020 09:31

I grew up in a village and hated it. I had to ask a parent to take me everywhere. Going to the cinema with friends involved a complicated pick up and drop off system involving multiple cars and village stops. When I was 19 I moved to London.

MsTSwift · 22/08/2020 09:34

Ha my Dh would happily live in the middle of nowhere - not on my watch! We left London for small city now we have tween and teen I love seeing them out and about with their friends independently we died of boredom at that age in our no public transport village.

notheragain4 · 22/08/2020 09:37

As lovely as the rural house would be for your husband it doesn't sound right for your family, I'd discount it immediately. You can always go that way when the kids have grown up.

We've been having the village vs town debate for the same reasons, we went with town for our children's sakes.

Saz12 · 22/08/2020 09:48

When they’re very little it makes no odds, as they’ll not be walking to school/park/friends until 9 or so and you’ll meet people at pick up/drop off/ etc.
For teens.... how far from bus stop (ie can they cycle?) How frequent are buses? In a village- how big, how many kids their age.... when their teens they might be catching bus somewhere else anyway. But then some “villages” are more like small towns.

Unfortunately most people’s ideal is house on outskirts of village, walkable to village but still rural. Those properties sell quickly for a premium.

Ifailed · 22/08/2020 09:53

I don't know your current set up, but bear in mind that if your husbands workshop is right outside the house, he could always be 'at work'? Taking the village option means his place of work is elsewhere (even if its just a 5 minute walk), but at least there's a clear separation between work and home.

Requinblanc · 22/08/2020 09:57

Think about practical issues when you want to move somewhere rural and isolated.

If you have an emergency and are stuck in the middle of nowhere how long will it take for you to get to hospital/have an ambulance close to you?

What impact will it have on any online delivery? you might not be able to have to things easily delivered to you or it might be more expensive.

Is there a good broadband/mobile signal? because that will affect your ability to work from home.

Are you happy to have to drive everywhere and be a taxi service for your kids?

Will they need to travel to a different school/college as they get older?

When you get old (if this is your forever home) what will happen? my parents chose a rural location where you had to drive to access anything. That became unsustainable in old age and my mother had to sell up the house which was not a happy outcome for her.

A rural retreat sounds good on paper but you need to be sensible about whether you can cope with the reality of it.

Porridgeoat · 22/08/2020 09:58

It sounds like a substantial village if it has both primary and secondary schools. This would also mean good bus links to towns and cities for teens and work

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