I HATE our new house

[helloandthankyou]

Hi everyone,

Apologies for the long post!! I would like to hear from anyone who has been in the same position as me and what they did to make themselves feel better.

My partner and I recently bought our first home with our baby after starting off our lives renting a one bedroom flat for £1000 a month near London.

We hadn't managed to save a huge amount as neither of us ever thought we would be able to own a house and settled into thinking that we would have to rent for most of or all of our lives. However, our circumstances changed and we were gifted enough money to be able to put a deposit down on a mortgage.

After a lot of searching, we finally found something back in the countryside, where we are both from and secured an offer. A month later, it fell through and we were left with very little time to find a place before my maternity leave ended so we ended up panicking and buying a house nearby the one that fell through. It was chain free, so we could exchange within 8 weeks. We had to pay the asking price as the buyer knew we were desperate (somehow!!!) and Brexit meant that the market had been flat.

I know this sounds extremely ungrateful and spoilt; but it is honestly the worst place I have ever lived except for one dodgy house I was in as a student. It's a little cottage, about 170 years old; big oak beams, big fireplace and small windows. Small garden, semi-detached. It was rented previously so it has been run down. Carpets all need replacing, hallway needs tiling, needs a new kitchen, new bathroom...the list just goes on and on.

I suppose I just feel that, at 32, I should be living somewhere a bit nicer. And after years of living in lovely places (albeit renting) I feel that I have regressed. I wish we had bought a new build but the only ones that were available where we wanted to live were on a huge development of over 400 houses all crammed together.

The good points are - we live a 30 second walk from the junior school that our son will go to. We have a beautiful walks all around the house, which meant we were able to get a beautiful dog who we love very much. We have lovely neighbours and are opposite the villages only shop, which has a post office at the back. We are two minutes from the local pub, which does food. We are really close to our families and our friends from school. The house is surrounded by a valley so the mist in the mornings is beautiful. We both love nature and walking / hiking.

Has anyone else ever felt that they bought the wrong house? Did you manage to get past it? How?

TIA for reading and for any replies

x x x

My first flat was a tiny two bed (allegedly) flat on the river in the city Loved it. Second house further out into the country. Moved in. Hated it. Cried. A lot. Lived there 15 years and sobbed when i moved out, i loved it so much. This house was a move under duress. My husband wanted to move. It's a new build, much bigger than our last house and much more rural. Again, I hated it. I hated the white walls. I hated the kitchen. I hated the lack of character. Only positive was the huge plot (approx half an acre). We've been here almost six years and I love it. Love the location. Love my neighbours. Pub in walking distance and bugger all else. I have spent a fortune getting it how i want it. Don't assume that new builds are low cost and don't need anything. The house has a warmth now and character. I put all of that in to this house.
You need to live in the house and get used to how it feels. Prioritise the rooms and decide what you want to do. You'll get there. Xx

Belatedly - in England the survey valuation always matches your offer price if it's a mortgage survey - unless the house is over-priced, and mortgage surveyors rarely find that. Doesn't mean that you won't be able to re-sell it within a few years for more if the conditions of both your local housing market and your house itself permit.

Mine was valued at much more than we offered And paid. loke about 80k. What does that mean?

He said to my husband we’d got a good deal so I never questioned it

It's hard when you are at home all the time as it so easy to focus on everything that you hate about the house. I was a SAHM for ten years and are house was quite shabby when we got it but we weren't in a position to do any big jobs like kitchen and bathrooms and it did get me down. I'm working now and finally after 13 years we have the money to renovate the house. We did consider moving and down sizing to a new build with everything shiny and new but like you we are very lucky location wise and although we saw some lovely houses none of them offered what we have in terms of location and amenities. Maybe when you are out and about take a look at other houses that might look nicer compared to yours but then ask do they have all those lovely things on the door step and which one or all of them would you willingly give up?

I would have a look on Instagram ,there is lots of inspiration around . It will take a little while before it feels like home ,and just think in the spring and summer it will be lovely in the countryside .

You have a kind of blank canvas to do your own thing, that is exciting.

I moved into my house about 18 months ago, I don't really like the kitchen and bathroom that much, but they aren't bad enough to replace - we have a fetching flowery tile border.

What I have done is to write a list of jobs under the following timescales - short term (next few months) medium term (6mths - a year) and then long term plans (so the bathroom is on there)

It will be absolutely lovely.

It seems as though your logic is telling you that the house has some great aspects, things like living close to family/friends, great location etc are all what will make you happy in the long run.
Probably for now it feels like living in someone else’s home because it’s not like a new build blank canvas and the decor wasn’t your choice. When I was a sahm I focused a lot on our house’s defects because I was at home for most of the day. Everything has gradually been changed to our taste and style but it has taken some time. What I did in the early days was to try and change one small thing each day to make the house more cosy and out my stamp on it. Even if it was just buying a plant, putting a picture in a frame etc. From then on I would try and make small areas look nice, eg arrange a side table to look good with a lamp, picture, ornament etc which look nice together. That way I could look at the nice little areas I had created within the rooms rather than just focusing on the overall room and becoming overwhelmed at the amount of work needed.

Thanks everyone, for you stories, insights and replies.

I think the thing that has wound me up about this whole situation more than anything is the fact that we overpaid for the house because we were vulnerable. If we were experienced buyers we would have been able to see the things that were being hidden by the seller.

We have started to change things - it's just difficult with a bubba toddling around! Bathroom is nearly there and that makes a huge difference ... no nasty black and green grout between the tiles anymore or rotting wooden tongue and groove. Also carpets are up so the smell has, gone along with the mould spores that were lurking underneath!!

The survey came back bang on the asking price as I previously said, so perhaps we paid the right price?! I'm unsure.

Thanks again everyone x

In the grand scheme of things overpaying by a few £k isn’t a big deal. Everyone sees a property they wish they’d bought after completion- fact! And re the survey, we’ve bought a few places and they’ve never exceeded our offer price, even when we’ve paid below asking. It’s only a problem if it’s down valued.

Thing with house owning is accepting you may spend money that you don’t always recoup in full, but the improvements make your life better. Redecorating and new carpets is a fairly cheap way to brighten up your home, and make it feel yours. If the big ticket items like kitchen and bathroom are fit for purpose, these can wait until you have the funds.

It’s a good idea to live in the home for a while before making any major changes- we have been here nearly 8 years and only just started doing a downstairs renovation!

Forgot to mention that one of my friends has just bought a house that was listed for £1m- that is serious money round here. I definitely had house envy (but not stamp duty/bills/mortgage payments envy!)

We were in a similar situation when a house we loved fell through and we ended up panic buying because we didn't want to lose our house sale.

That was 4 years ago now and we have finally finished doing up the house (it was in a state!) We literally did one room at a time. We spent about 30k in total but the house was recently valued at 30k more than we bought it for so it was all worth it in the end.