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Original poster

I HATE our new house

111 replies

helloandthankyou · 28/12/2019 20:57

Hi everyone,

Apologies for the long post!! I would like to hear from anyone who has been in the same position as me and what they did to make themselves feel better.

My partner and I recently bought our first home with our baby after starting off our lives renting a one bedroom flat for £1000 a month near London.

We hadn't managed to save a huge amount as neither of us ever thought we would be able to own a house and settled into thinking that we would have to rent for most of or all of our lives. However, our circumstances changed and we were gifted enough money to be able to put a deposit down on a mortgage.

After a lot of searching, we finally found something back in the countryside, where we are both from and secured an offer. A month later, it fell through and we were left with very little time to find a place before my maternity leave ended so we ended up panicking and buying a house nearby the one that fell through. It was chain free, so we could exchange within 8 weeks. We had to pay the asking price as the buyer knew we were desperate (somehow!!!) and Brexit meant that the market had been flat.

I know this sounds extremely ungrateful and spoilt; but it is honestly the worst place I have ever lived except for one dodgy house I was in as a student. It's a little cottage, about 170 years old; big oak beams, big fireplace and small windows. Small garden, semi-detached. It was rented previously so it has been run down. Carpets all need replacing, hallway needs tiling, needs a new kitchen, new bathroom...the list just goes on and on.

I suppose I just feel that, at 32, I should be living somewhere a bit nicer. And after years of living in lovely places (albeit renting) I feel that I have regressed. I wish we had bought a new build but the only ones that were available where we wanted to live were on a huge development of over 400 houses all crammed together.

The good points are - we live a 30 second walk from the junior school that our son will go to. We have a beautiful walks all around the house, which meant we were able to get a beautiful dog who we love very much. We have lovely neighbours and are opposite the villages only shop, which has a post office at the back. We are two minutes from the local pub, which does food. We are really close to our families and our friends from school. The house is surrounded by a valley so the mist in the mornings is beautiful. We both love nature and walking / hiking.

Has anyone else ever felt that they bought the wrong house? Did you manage to get past it? How?

TIA for reading and for any replies

x x x

OP posts:
happycamper11 · 29/12/2019 12:41

Tbh it sounds amazing for all the practicalities, things you can't change about a house. The issues are all ones you can change albeit maybe not straight away. Once you've put your stamp on it im sure you'll grow to love it

NemophilistRebel · 29/12/2019 12:41

The description you give of your house sounds dreamy to me

I’m 34 and was on the property ladder at 20 but still living in a 2 bed semi detached after years of poky 1 bed flats.

madcatladyforever · 29/12/2019 12:42

New houses are sooooooo boring you can make this house fabulous. You are only 32 and have a whole lifetime ahead. I always start with the main living area. Make that lovely and perfect and the rest later on.

Maroon85 · 29/12/2019 13:09

We paid over the odds for this house which annoyed me for a long time. It had a loft conversion with 3 rooms that turned out to be illegally done (despite all the correct paperwork!). We needed the space and it cost us 80k to redo the conversion legally - more than if it hadn't even been done in the first place as it all had to be ripped out. And of course we'd paid for a 5bed house, not a 3 bed which we actually ended up with. Everything in the house needed doing and 5 years on it's still a work in progress despite us having spend 150k on it.
But... I now love it and though it still needs stuff doing everything is exactly to my taste.
If you need a new bathroom and kitchen you could maybe save and buy them yourself and get a builder to fit it all as one job, which might save money

Original poster
helloandthankyou · 29/12/2019 13:11

@beautifulstranger101 no, not at all! I'm acutely aware of how ungrateful I am being and posted to get some help on moving past that xx

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 29/12/2019 13:12

FWIW I think you need to work on your mental health and attitude. It's not particularly healthy to compare so much to others and have so many regrets. (I mean this kindly because I can have tendency towards negative thinking too!)

Movinghouseatlast · 29/12/2019 13:13

Bloody hell, it sounds like my dream house at age 32! A new estate would be my idea of hell.

I bought a similar house at 32, and did it up bit by bit. Circumstances meant I ended up living there for 20 years.

32 is so young, just beginning really. There is no 'ought' about where you live/what you can afford. Life isn't a tick box exercise!

Original poster
helloandthankyou · 29/12/2019 13:14

@Maroon85 I can't believe they were allowed to get away with that!! It's crazy. House buying is an absolute minefield. If you purchased something from a retailer that claimed to do something that it did not - you would have so many rights. But with houses.. it seems to be all smoke and mirrors. Very deceitful.

Glad that you had turned things around though - that definitely gives me hope x

OP posts:
Original poster
helloandthankyou · 29/12/2019 13:17

@AnotherEmma Yes I agree - so sick of these patterns of thought! I have seen my doctor for medication and hope to start some therapy in the new year, although I will be on a waiting list. It's exhausting and quite a waste of good energy.

OP posts:
PiafPilaf · 29/12/2019 13:19

I loved our house when we viewed it but hated it when we moved in for about the first year. We found everything wrong with it - dangerous electrics, woodworm, damp, needed entirely replumbing, you name it. We were lucky enough to be able to do an extension straight away and now, although there is still a lot to be done (all bedrooms desperately need replastering and new carpets, lots of painting still needed, porch is falling down, garden is a mess - and we’ve been here six years now) I now love it. This is largely due to the location, which it sounds like you’ve got sussed. Don’t worry, it’ll pass. I remember sitting there sobbing and trying to get my husband to view other houses when we’d been here a few months!

bionicnemonic · 29/12/2019 13:23

It sounds fantastic! Well done! I haven’t read the full thread but just wanted to suggest that maybe painting the beams white or a pale colour would lift the lightness in the room (and the interior window frames) there are no rules which say they have to be black! You’ll need a good, highly pigmented, obliterating paint. Tug up a corner of carpet and see what’s underneath...could you take up the carpet and use a few rugs?

DickDewy · 29/12/2019 13:34

I bet once you have put your stamp on it, you will love your cottage.

I work in construction. Believe me, a character period property is a million miles better than a nasty new build.

dottydaily · 29/12/2019 13:41

Focus on one room or project at a time..people feel they need to have a perfect home from the day they move..I did up a room every year if I could afford it...Kitchen 2020 is my plan...bit by bit..a house is never fully perfect in the real world...so try be happy to be on the ladder and do what you can when ya can..it’s a never ending project if you strive for perfection in your house you will give yourself unnecessary anxiety...

Bluntness100 · 29/12/2019 13:54

I think you're confused on what ceiling price is.

The survey told you you were paying the correct pric for it in its current condition. If it's bathroom kitchen etc had been done, then the valuation would have been higher. The ceiling price is the max a house will be worth, st this point on time, fully done up and renovated. It's not what it's worth when needing renovation.

SinkGirl · 29/12/2019 13:57

My mum passed away before I got pregnant - she lived in a flat that was left to her husband, and there were renters in her main house which I grew up in. I was pregnant when the tenants gave notice so DH and I moved in until it sold.

I loved that house - three bedrooms, all with bathrooms, in a gorgeous location where I could walk to everything including an amazing massive park, cafes, trains, buses etc.

We couldn’t borrow enough to buy out my brother and sister so we had to sell. Took nearly a year to sell it and we eventually found a place to buy. It’s a very small 2 bed terrace in a not as nice area. I don’t drive and there’s very little I can walk to. It really got me down at first, but honestly I didn’t think we would ever own a house. We’ve been here over two years now and love our house. Still don’t love where it is!

You’ve got something amazing we don’t have - a great location. You can turn the house into whatever you want. There’s so much you can do cheaply yourself. We had a ridiculous quote to fit blinds but ended up learning how to measure up, order and fit them ourselves. They look amazing and it makes so much difference. Same with light fittings etc. I’m not saying you should fit your own kitchen or bathroom but there are parts of it you can do yourself.

littlebillie · 29/12/2019 13:59

I think when you buy something which needs everything doing just don't panic. We moved into a lovely house with a terrible decor. I painted over tiles in the kitchen and changed the lighting and Lino. It looked completely different. We also ripped up the carpets had the boards sanded and put lots of cheap rungs down to change the look. Sofas from charity shops and decor too. You can go a little wild in between your finished house

Echobelly · 29/12/2019 14:03

I think you've done a lot better than buying a characterless new build box, which tend to have problems of their own. But do work on it a bit at a time - our home now was our second choice, but I'm pretty happy with it now.

Claphands · 29/12/2019 14:08

It’s quite common I think to not like a newly bought property, it takes time to get used to it. I am still not in love with my house after moving from a London flat because although bigger, it needed a everything doing to it whereas the flat was finished.
For a quick fix painting everywhere white does work, also getting carpets cleaned or taking them up and putting down rugs -not so great with a baby though

Canyousewcushions · 29/12/2019 14:12

I've felt like that both times I've moved into a new place that we've owned. The feeling has gone once I've turned into my own place- got rid of the decor that's not to my taste, had the bathroom done etc etc. It's a long winded process- it was a few years in the first place before it felt like mine, and the second will hopefully get to that stage later this year as we get more renovation work finished (4 years post moving).

However, the bonus when you own it is that you can make it properly yours rather than living with the landlord's paint, and you will be adding value to your purchase as you do it up, so it's not wasted investment.

It sounds like your house has a lot going for it if you can find some money to start making it your own.

AnotherEmma · 29/12/2019 14:14
Flowers FWIW I have found both CBT and mindfulness helpful in the past.
Original poster
helloandthankyou · 29/12/2019 14:31

@AnotherEmma they are helpful; I used to work for a yoga company. We would have daily meditation and free yoga every morning and it helped my mental health so much!

Getting out for walks helps a lot too... getting out of the house. I am a SAHM at the moment so I am in the house a lot

x

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 29/12/2019 14:31

Amazing! I want to work somewhere like that!

AnotherEmma · 29/12/2019 14:33

I definitely spend more time at home since becoming a parent - maternity leave and working part time. It therefore bothers me a lot more! Pre-DC we used to go out or away a lot so we didn't care and didn't do DIY!

ivykaty44 · 29/12/2019 14:46

Kitchen and bathroom done to your taste and it’ll feel like home

Friend of a friend is having massive renovations and quotes vary between £60k and £145k
My advise shop around and get 3 or 4 quotes but don’t plummet for the cheapest

Also when shopping around look at some of the better bathrooms and kitchen suppliers as they often work out better quality that’ll last longer

Bathrooms I used was a London firm cp hart (many years ago, no idea what there like now) and my boyfriend at the time was convinced I was paying over the odds...so we went to B&Q where he was going to prove this out to me. He couldn’t find as good quality and it was 20% more expensive what he did find

FlamingoAndJohn · 29/12/2019 15:25

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Don’t look at what your friend has. It’s annoying to see I know, but try to focus on what you do have.

I hated our house when we first moved in.
Now, seven years down the line with a new kitchen and bathroom I love it.
If I was to ever move again I’d go for somewhere with a bathroom and kitchen that need replacing, that way you can do it all exactly how you want.

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