After being inspired by this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/property/3588315-Made-wrong-move-out-of-London-Help-me-get-it-right-second-time I thought I'd start my own. I have posted before on this but we never decided what to do for the best. Our situation has changed a bit now too so here goes….
We moved out of London over five years ago to a small Surrey commuter town. I immediately felt like we'd made an error. We did a lot of searching around the M25 corridor at the time, and also looked at staying where we were in Crouch End, but thought we'd get more for our money outside of London and were worried about the schools too (though I now know this was silly). Anyway we ended up here because it wasn't quite as unknown as other places as my DH knew two people here. And I had a friend in Tun Wells so not too far.
I can't quite put my finger on what it is about here I don't like. It's partly caught up with the massive motherhood change. I had a bad experience first time round and I probably now associate a lot of the places here with all those feelings I want to bury! But it's five years on - surely I should be over that now? It just doesn't feel like a me place. There are many executive houses here and range rovers, though there ARE many normal houses and cars too, and I question myself to that too - why is my environment impacting on my happiness so much? Am I being really judgemental?
But more than all that it's just doesn't suit me I think. I miss having buzzy cafes and a bit of liveliness really. I miss having parkrun on my doorstep or a farmer's market. I miss where we were - it's quite a leftie/creative part of London and had a nice community feel with loads of green space. I found the other thread very interesting as the OP talks about the feel of a place - it's difficult to describe that really. Where we moved to is great on paper but the feel is a world away from what I was used to.
I mistakenly thought here would feel like where we were in London but in the country. As it's a similar size. I wasn't keen to move somewhere like Tun Wells as I thought it would be a bit impersonal. I was after a community feel. The trouble is where we are does have that, but I just don't seem to be settling!
I'm not 100% sure of what would be best for us. I'm not sure if we need to be back in London or we just haven't found the right place outside of London. We have no pull of family so there is no natural place to head to.
I miss London but unsure whether London with kids is the best thing to do. I don't know what the reality is with kids there. Yes I take them up there a lot but I don't live there. Also the things that people move out for - crime, pollution, business.
I thought I wanted to live in the countryside. But the thought now of being very rural freaks me out as I'd feel so isolated. I think if my circumstances were different, maybe it would work. My husband's long hours and lack of family nearby mean this would be a no no here. However I'd like my children to have some freedom and green around them like I did growing up. I liked Crouch End, and I also like places like Lewes - that sort of feel to them.
This is our situation - my DH works all the hours under the sun. Sometimes he can work at home but it's probably once a fortnight. He can often get back for school things but is chained to his phone and laptop. I took redundancy and am now freelance 3x week. It means I can do all the drop offs/pick ups. This is wonderful but I'm also slightly nervous that we're off down the road of me doing all the childcare/mental load/career dwindling and never seeing my DH. I need to work. I enjoy it. Freelance is fine for now but perhaps once the DCs are older I would like to go back to employment. I work in the creative sector. So London or another big city would be the best for me to find work. DH is tied to London for his work.
One thing we do have now (which is why our situation has changed) is a good budget. We have £2m. I don't have to commute to a specific place in London. DH commutes to the city. Parents are southwest and East Anglia (helpful!) and friends are mainly scattered across the southeast.
These are the ideas we've been thinking about:-
Move back to Crouch End or another part of London (we've 'narrowed it down' to Richmond (seems like great area with kids, green, on river but worried about plane noise and also perhaps a bit 'Surrey') or Wanstead (access up to Suffolk, easy commute, green, seems more me, nice community but worried bit suburban, unknown)
Move over to Tun Wells for a bit more life?
Move completely away to Bristol or Norwich/flat in London? (Will be nearer family support but further from friends. DH will still have to be in London so will I feel even more isolated?)
Go rural to Suffolk/flat in London (Go for seaside living v close to ageing parents, but do not know anyone and DH will still be in London)
Just stay put and possibly get a flat in London for future/more weekend visits?
So have we missed anywhere obvious we should consider? Any advice from anyone? I think part of the problem is I'm not really sure what would be best for me and my family, so we're looking at all options at the moment.
Thanks if you've stayed with me!