Should I leave London altogether? Or just move somewhere less “urban” in London? Did anyone quit the big smoke and regret it?

[Londonornot]

Bit of background. I live in Hackney with kids. I love Hackney, but I’m not sure it’s the right place for me to bring up kids. I want more of the things from my childhood for them - playing outside with friends, countryside. And you know - less random drug paraphernalia left outside the front door and awful, intense traffic on the main road directly adjacent to our house. As much as I like my kid’s primary school, it has a small - very polluted - yard for playtime.

I’m torn between quitting London altogether, or moving to a more suburban, greener, “naice” part of London. (We’ve made a crap load of money on our house. Criminal, really, so we can probably go anywhere except Hampstead/ bits of west london we’re not interested in anyway!)

Or should we leave and move to Norfolk or Hove or Lewes?! We’d have less money stress (small mortgage) and more green.

Anyone quit and regret it?

Anyone find the perfect spot?! It’s driving me crazy. I know I don’t have it “right” yet but the endless search is making me potty. I really want a like-minded lovely community (which I have here in Hackney) and don’t know where to begin to search. DH is reluctant to leave London, also, gets ratty every time I bring it up.

Help!

Came on here to reply that we debated this argued around this issue for a decade.
DH insisted that we needed to move - it filled my heart with absolute horror.
I have a London based job with lots of early starts and my close friend who commutes in the same job regularly gets up a 4am. My husband is home based job so location irrelevant for commuting.
We were both brought up in commuter towns - I hated it, he loved it and we couldn't agree at all.
Finally, thank fuck, he met up with a friend who had moved out and was miserable. Over a weekend he had a change of heart and we are now buying in Brockley having lived in inner south London (very like hackney) up til now. In fact we saw one of the properties posted below and are buying near it.
Too early to say if it is the right move but we are both peaceful with the decision which is more than the alternative would have left one of us

Not rtft but I live in Hither Green and am absolutely PMSL that it has been suggested as a place to "move out of London" too 😂

It's Lewisham, fgs!! You don't get much more "London" than that.

Hexagonwitch I actually checked where Hither Green was on a map after that post, thinking I had misremembered, but I hadn't. It certainly didn't strike me as green and leafy but maybe I missed the best streets. To be fair the poster was trying to suggest places that were like Hackney.

London I get the embarrassment about budget, but it is what it is. I think a lot of my neighbours who've been here much longer then me are property rich but not cash rich.

I think you need to do a map view search on Zoopla etc because it can be so street specific. In terms of areas close to the heath then I'd say:

• The roads in Dartmouth Park, excluding the two main roads that border it, i.e. Highgate Road and Dartmouth Park Hill which are busy in rush hour (I have a very low tolerance for traffic noise though!) . Chetwynd Road can also get quite busy as a cut through. The properties on Grove Terrace are set back from Highgate Road with grass and trees in front.
• West of Highgate road, next to the lido corner of the Heath, Glenhurst Avenue and (if you'd consider a flat) Lissenden Gardens
• The roads to the immediate west/south of Highgate Cemetery are very quiet because they are gated and there are large communal gardens. You can't afford a house but you could a flat - the larger ones tend to be on Langbourne Ave
• Not on Highgate West Hill - again, busy in rush hour - unless that doesn't bother you
• The roads immediately south of the Heath that lead off Savernake Road. Not on or South of Mansfield Road.
• There are 3 bed flats (and even a 4 bed) in Hampstead within your budget but they are smaller than where you live now. Some have communal gardens. East Heath Road and Heath Street are busy in rush hour.
• Likewise Belsize Park - all the roads are fine but avoid Haverstock Hill and Fitzjohn's avenue if you don't want traffic noise.

Personally I like a communal garden - access to outside space that you don't have to maintain, but it's not for everyone. I also think a flat is more tenable if you have that, and if you are very close to somewhere like the Heath.

I agree that Crouch End and Muswell Hill are also lovely but less well connected, depending on where you want to go, hence money goes a bit further.

hexagon who suggested Hither Green as a place to move out of London to? Not me. It's zone 3, definitely London, has nice parks and good schools...

St Albans is a welcoming place with decent transport links and so many people who’ve left London for children/schools. The benefit of moving while your children are young is that it’s easier to make friends. Can you see yourself staying in Hackney with teens?

Do not even dare to look at High Barnet/Southgate or anywhere outside the north circular. Yes plenty of green but You’ll be totally bored and likeminded people are few people. I have done and although it is not the end of the world as London proper is near enough I wish we ate bread and onion for a few years and bought inside the north circular.

Yes yes yes to Muswell Hill, Crouch End or Ali Pali (slightly cheaper). Great community, feel and people. Close enough to central London and Highgate and Hampstead and more urban parts. Some lovely houses, some near Alexandra Palace backing into a huge reserve/golf course so it feels like you are in the country side.

If you are crazy enough to come to Barnet knock at my door. If u hold a book in your hand I’ll let you in ;-)

Apologies for typos, I was rushing it to try to stop you from moving.

Ps: I too wanted the dc to have a greener childhood which we managed with quite a few pets and park trips. All of this could have been achieved in any of these other places as long as you have a decent size garden and access to parks, which That area of London as in abundance.

Also when the dc grow up a bit and go to secondary you will appreciate a more varied mix and also less acrilic nails, contoured faces and fake eyelashes which Barnet is unfortunately still full of.

Surely not Peckham, OP wants to get away from drug paraphernalia on the stretch! Pekcham is a cheaper, less nice version of Hackney!

I don't agree with Blueskies comment that "Walthamstow and Leyton are for sure shittier than Hackney". Havinig lived in both, it definitely depends on the area, and the transport links are so much better.

That is actually fair *Stokey". I was thinking of the nice bits of Hackney v the shitty bits of Leyton/Walthamstow. The nice bits of both are nicer than the crappy--but-still-hugely-expensive bits of Hackney.

Oh no not St Albans... pretty for an afternoon or two but soo dull.

Also Young children are for the countryside but Teens are for London imo. My 13yo dd now wishes we were more central. Which teen wants to live in the suburbs!! I certainly do not blame them. As for drugs... they are everywhere and knife crime... plenty in The suburbs too. I shudder when neighbours prefer to send their kids to enfield for a shopping trip rather than into town...

The irony of all the people saying everyone outside of London is small minded. Because that’s not a small minded thing to say at all!

Point taken although like minded is not the same as small minded.

People are people, but it is true to say that where I am now is that bit more conservative than where I was before.

I hadn't been here long when I saw a notice up in a boutique 'Saturday girl wanted'. That sign wouldn't have lasted 30 minutes in PC north London!

It is also quite healthy to leave the urban bubble, in some ways. I certainly have a better understanding of the political landscape and why people vote the way they do. Perhaps my own mind has broadened too.

I think Blackheath/Greenwich is Hampstead without the rich arseholes 🤷‍♀️

It's AMAZING

I live in Blackheath and it has plenty of rich arseholes and it's nowhere near as nice as hampstead. The high St is mainly mediocre chain places.

It is also quite healthy to leave the urban bubble, in some ways. I certainly have a better understanding of the political landscape and why people vote the way they do. Perhaps my own mind has broadened too.

I agree it’s important to venture outside the London bubble but you don’t have to live outside it . I suppose it depends on your friendships - I’ve got lots of friends outside of London with a different outlook to me. Having said that I’ve also got plenty of friends and acquaintances in London with a different outlook to me!

We used to live in London, Bethnal Green and then Stoke Newington but moved 15 years ago to Harrogate and have since moved to a village near Lincoln.
I commute to London most weeks for at least one day from Newark which is a 1hr 20m journey.
Interestingly, this is what £1.5m buys here search.savills.com/property-detail/gblnsccli184501

A lot of massive TVs by the looks of things

It’s just horses for courses isn’t it. I don’t feel any desire for that property or setting at all but it would be a dream home for many.

Ditto

Interesting that Barnet is boring! I was thinking maybe somewhere like that might suit me (currently outside m25) as used to love in north London. Maybe got to bite bullet and just move back to London proper. That said there was another stabbing in Muswell Hill which makes me nervous.

Don't do it. I quit London for another big city a few years back and regretted it no end.

Oh maybe it can work as a halfway house between outside the M25 and inside the North circular.
Stabbing allegedly also in the park across the road from us at the weekend. Who knows.