Should I leave London altogether? Or just move somewhere less “urban” in London? Did anyone quit the big smoke and regret it?

[Londonornot]

Bit of background. I live in Hackney with kids. I love Hackney, but I’m not sure it’s the right place for me to bring up kids. I want more of the things from my childhood for them - playing outside with friends, countryside. And you know - less random drug paraphernalia left outside the front door and awful, intense traffic on the main road directly adjacent to our house. As much as I like my kid’s primary school, it has a small - very polluted - yard for playtime.

I’m torn between quitting London altogether, or moving to a more suburban, greener, “naice” part of London. (We’ve made a crap load of money on our house. Criminal, really, so we can probably go anywhere except Hampstead/ bits of west london we’re not interested in anyway!)

Or should we leave and move to Norfolk or Hove or Lewes?! We’d have less money stress (small mortgage) and more green.

Anyone quit and regret it?

Anyone find the perfect spot?! It’s driving me crazy. I know I don’t have it “right” yet but the endless search is making me potty. I really want a like-minded lovely community (which I have here in Hackney) and don’t know where to begin to search. DH is reluctant to leave London, also, gets ratty every time I bring it up.

Help!

We are in a 'leafy' part of west London and I love it and have no plans to move. We cycle to work in less than half an hour, have excellent schools, fab neighbours and green space. Plus we go to the theatre/galleries etc a lot so really enjoy London living.

I would be worried about gun and knife crime in Hackney so see why you want to move. But I'd stay in London and be guided by good secondary schools.

Good luck. Ace post.

We moved out and my mental health has suffered MASSIVELY because of it. Biggest mistake of my life. So tricky though as when kids come along it's not just you to think about.

Definitely rent first and look around. There are so many variations of suburbia/countryside and parts of London so you need to work out what's right for you and your family.

We're still thinking about coming back though we're also thinking about moving further out!

We were thinking of leaving London for a year or two - did a recce to Kent last year. Folkestone was lovely and we really liked Canterbury, but it's pricey and touristy. We're now looking for a bigger house in the same area we live in now - leafy bit of SE London with great schools and 15 minute commute to London Bridge. We love our neighbourhood, we can pop to museums, galleries, restaurants in central London, the kids love the local parks and museums. We're about a 10-minute drive from Greenwich and Blackheath and Forest Hill. Can you expand your search area to a few miles outside Hackney? Leyton? Walthamstow? I don't know those places at all but people are always wanging on about how nice they are... :)

Thanks, Dancing! I do know those neighbourhoods (Walthamstow, Leyton) as friends moved there from Hackney. But they did so because they couldn’t afford to stay in Hackney (the ones I know anyway). Walthamstow / Leyton both got stuff going for them but they’re not as “nice” as Hackney, or what I’m looking for. Walthamstow village is leafy and pretty but absolutely tiny. I definitely want more green and less urban than that.

I’m starting to wonder if we should first expand our search to leafy parts of London like Dartmouth Park or Muswell hill and if we’re still not feeling it, leave. But then that’d be two school moves . It’s all very confusing!!!

We live in (one of) the greenest, sought-after part of Hackney anyway. I do worry that other green London will be very similar?! (Still lots of crime, drug crap left out, ridiculously busy roads, polluted school playgrounds).

Come and have a day out in Muswell Hill - I absolutely love it... and every family I know who lives here really likes it 😊

If I were you I would look at staying in London but moving to another area. As others have said, Greenwich/Blackheath are really nice.

Me and DH were born in London and lived there for around 40 years - Stoke Newington, Stamford Hill and then Eltham.

We moved out 20 years ago and have regretted it ever since. We go back all the time - at least once a month usually for a couple of days.

If we win the lottery the first thing we would do is move back to London (we can't afford to otherwise). We don't have children though so it's different for us but I think even with children I would prefer to live in London

It all depends on your budget but if you want to stay on outskirts of London and your DH works three days a week here have you considered south west? Plenty of greenery south of the river - Teddington, Twickenham, parts or Richmond or Kingston, Ham etc plus the bonus of the river. Plenty going on and good schools too.

We left London last year but moved out of the UK as I always said there was no point being in the UK if we weren't in London (dh and I both not from there).

I do not miss it at all surprisingly. We are an hour to the city, I go in 2 days a week, dh 4 days, so it's not perfect but I hadn't realised how much the bustle of London had put me on edge.

I love going into the city a few days now, but I love more the calmer pace of life. We are a 10 minute walk to the station and tonight dh and I stayed in the city for drinks.

I think you won't know unless you try it. I'd suggest though maybe renting out your house and renting somewhere you think you might like to test the waters.

Good luck! I personally loved my time in London but loving life out of it now 🙂

We live in (one of) the greenest, sought-after part of Hackney anyway. I do worry that other green London will be very similar?! (Still lots of crime, drug crap left out, ridiculously busy roads, polluted school playgrounds).

Seriously, Dulwich is not like this. Dulwich is proper leafy green nice.

Leyton and Walthamstow are for sure shittier than Hackney.

Seriously, Dulwich is not like this. Dulwich is proper leafy green nice.

Likewise Dartmouth Park/bottom end of Highgate!

I don’t know Hackney especially well, particularly not the Victoria Park side, but I couldn’t live in any of the bits that I’ve visited. I like the lido, but London Fields barely counts as green for me, it’s a fairly small flat patch of grass that’s fills with noisy people as soon as the sun comes out, and you can see the edges wherever you stand.

We need to know your budget, OP!

Love Hackney but when we had a little one we made the move and it’s great.

We both work in London (freelancers though so not more than 3 days a week) have a super easy commute and best of both worlds.

I like my city, green leafy, great parks, great pubs, cocktail bars and shops plus my wanky coffee and it’s so child friendly and clean.

I’ll always love Hackney but it was the right move for us and trains are so fast can be in zone one in 17 minutes. We also have 24hr trains.

What area is that Gin? Sounds fab

St Albans. It is different to London but fun and quirky - lots of places seemed quite soulless when looking.

We moved from Hackney (London Fields) to Southgate...need for larger house for no more money, decent schools and good transport links into town drove our decision. We did love Hackney and would have stayed a bit longer if the need for a bigger house hadn't forced our hand, and primary schools are good but we were dubious about secondary in the area.

Southgate is lovely - loads of parks, good schools etc - but it is suburbia. If we could afford it, I think I'd choose Muswell Hill or Crouch End...both are pretty good for schools (I think Muswell Hill has the edge here), but transport links aren't great. Neither is on the tube - closest is Highgate which is a bus journey away - and Muswell Hill doesn't have train links either (Crouch End is close to Hornsey station which is direct into Moorgate).

You'd get a lot more for your money here than you will in MH/CE - just because we're the wrong side of the North Circular - and we're only a short-ish drive back to Hackney.

As PPs have said, it's worth having a look at Dulwich Village which is properly leafy and naice but it is expensive. Herne Hill is also lovely with Brockwell Park and has a village-y vibe about it, but not as posh as Dulwich Village. Both are still pretty central - although Herne Hill has better transport IMO. Approx 10 mins to Victoria or 15-20 mins to Blackfriars/Farringdon/St Pancras on the overground. Brixton is close for the tube. Good state schools (generally) plus private options. It doesn't feel as central as it is, but you can still get a cab home from a night out without haemorrhaging cash!

If you like the buzz I'd go for peckham rye over Dulwich village, in that neck of the woods. DV has a bylaw to ban cash machines and only one pub allowed...
Crystal Palace could be worth a look too.

Definitely going to take a look at Dulwich and Blackheath after these comments! And the other places mentioned, too.

Last time we got our house valued last (a year ago) it was a just over £1.5m (utterly ridiculous considering what we paid for it many moons ago). I think house prices have fallen since then, but a look on Rightmove tells me it’d go for something like that.

It looks like we could trade house-for-house in those areas? We have a Victorian terrace, single fronted, about 1600sq ft. (And also weird to think that - when we bought our place, which was in a bit of a state, we could never have afforded the same thing in Highgate or Dartmouth Park etc. Never! Nuts how much Hackney has rocketed in the last 12-ish years.)

Would prefer a smaller mortgage and less money stress, though. Who wouldn’t?! but if we were to make a move to a greener patch of London, that’s still as pretentious (love the pretentious stuff!), then I know we can’t.

Or London, but we left big city life for country-ish suburbs. Every time I drive I to my neighborhood and see the manicured lawns and beautiful houses I feel at peace. I love that my Dd can just go to the neighborhood school and we know she will get a great education. I love that my home has space I could never afford in a bigger area. My sister tried living here too. She said it felt like being on a movie set. She ended up moving to a more rural area, that she get had more character.

(Also - I have to admit, I feel very embarrassed admitting our budget. We’re definitely not rich, just the last batch of the property-luck ones.)

purple - that sounds gorgeous! Do you mind sharing where it is?

Honestly as a PP said have a look at High Barnet/Enfield

The “Hackney Graduates” that I know have moved here and really like it, one is in actual High Barnet itself (not new Barnet or Cockfosters etc) and the other is the Winchmore Hill side of Enfield.

For me personally we are away to move back to my home city in Scotland from SW London and I’m actually looking forward to it even though I never though I’d see the day I left London.

I grew up in Walthamstow (Wood Street), and my mum would have killed me if she found out I'd been to Hackney. So funny to think of that now. I dream of going home one day, of a house in Upper Walthamstow or the village, but I doubt we could ever afford it.
My family were priced out by the time I was 16, and after a bit of moving about I ended up buying in a little Edwardian house on a leafy road in Romford. It's a bit grubby lot like Walthamstow was 15 years ago, and we've even got somewhere selling sourdough so maybe it will catch up one day

You could buy this... www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-70303450.html

or this behemoth opposite Brockley's Hilly Fields... www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-57818271.html

Herne Hill and the Dulwich Estate are a good idea too. Peckham has a Hackney-is vibe but if you want lower crime it's probably about the same. Good luck with your search, hopefully you'll find something in your budget with the same amount of space!

I don't agree with Blueskies comment that "Walthamstow and Leyton are for sure shittier than Hackney". Havinig lived in both, it definitely depends on the area, and the transport links are so much better.

Think people who don't know either focus on the village which is tiny and not green, but as AwkwardPaws mentions, Upper Walthamstow has amazing houses, some of which back on to Epping Forest. There's also Lloyd Park, Higham's Park and Hollow Ponds.

I think the age of children is quite important OP. Countryside is good when they're little but once they're teens, you don't want to be ferrying them around. I do get the whole problem of knife crime, but rural areas have problems too.