My bfs sister hates me and she's staying with us for a month-help please.

[jellybeanmoon]

live in a house share with my partner and a house mate we found on spare room.
We each have our own room although I tend to sleep in my partners as he has the double bed. Me and the housemate pay rent, my partner only pays bills as the house we are renting is his mothers (she doesn’t live there, but is renting out as any other landlord).

For the past three weeks his sister has been staying with us, she has moved a lot of stuff in and for the first two weeks insisted on sleeping with my partner in the double bed until he asked her if she didn’t mind sleeping downstairs on a mattress.

I usually wouldn’t mind this but the issue is that she is very rude to me. She has had an attitude problem with me since day once, never makes conversation with me, and doesn’t even say hi when she comes into the house. She hasn’t asked anyone in the house if it is ok for her to stay so long, she leaves her mess lying around (which I usually end up having to tidy), she uses my things without asking, and despite the fact I have tried to be nice to her and make an effort with her for 5 years, her attitude towards me stinks.

She also used to do be like this when me and my partner rented our own flat together and she would invite herself over to stay which meant I had to cancel plans for my friends to come over as it was a very small flat and she needed to sleep in the living room.

As a result of the state of the house and her attitude towards me, I don’t feel comfortable being there and I even find it awkward to go in the kitchen when she’s there because she doesn’t even acknowledge me and when I try to be nice to her she just talks to me like a dog. I’ve resorted to staying with my parents until she leaves (which I am unsure when that will be). She is staying in the house for free while I am paying 420 quid for the past month where I’ve been made to feel unwelcome there, but I don’t feel the right to say anything as it’s her mums house. Any advice on what I should do or anyone know what my rights are please?

Its her mum's house, what does mum say about it, is she happy dd is not paying anything, what does your partner say. Do you Have a rent book and a tenancy agreement, she shouldnt be using your things, sharing a bed with her brother is weird. I'd want my partner to tell her to behave or move elsewhere.

Her mum is happy for her to be there and she's happy with her or my partner not paying rent. He only pays bills. But me and the housemate both pay full rent and I don't feel either of us have a right to tell her anything because it's her mums house.

Sorry but if it was me in your shoes or the other tenant I would leave, I wouldn't pay rent so other people can take the piss. I know that doesn't help, you have tenants rights but is it worth the grief.

You got turfed out of your partners bed so she could sleep in it with him?? Wtf?!

Sorry, couldn't get past that she insisted that she share a bed with your partner for two weeks? How inappropriate!! Or did I pick that up wrong. I've read it again and am still reading as this.

Yep. She invited herself over and assumed that she could sleep in his bed for nearly a month (and going).

Walk away. FFS she is an arse and your 'D'P is rubbish for not sorting this sooner. No bloody way should she be sleeping in the same bed as him. What the actual fuck? How has he not told her no? If anything she should stay in your bed if
you agreed and you stay with partner.

and for the first two weeks insisted on sleeping with my partner in the double bed

She slept with your partner? Am I reading that correctly?

100% you have been reading that correctly. It would have been a whole month if h didn’t ask her to sleep on the mattress downstairs

It's her mums house and she's living there for free. so you can take it to the bank that she's never gonna leave.

If I were you I'd start looking for another house share. You're just a lodger and she will always make that abundantly clear.

Maybe it's time you got your own place where she isn't welcome. While you live on that house it's always going to be like this.

Is your partner your partner in an intimate sense? If so, why did either of you go along with it for the first two weeks?

What does your partner have to say about it? Have you told him how you feel about it? If she's not contributing to the rent or bills she's freeloading off those who are paying and will NEVER leave...

I would move out and stop paying rent.

Yeh he’s my boyfriend of nearly 6 years. He hasn’t knocked the idea of us getting our own place rented from a different private landlord but it will be difficult for him to really want to if he’s not paying any rent here.

I’d be tempted to move out and end the relationship tbh. This family dynamic seems a little messy. And why isn’t your partner speaking up about this? Can you imagine staying with him and this being your life forever? No thanks...

He told me she’s starting a new job and getting a new flat, so hopefully sooner than later, but even when she had her own place she would invite herself over and stay odd weekends etc and sleep in his bed.

Yeh I have been tempted to move back into my parents house. The thing is when she’s not there I’m happy and it’s fine. If I kno she won’t always be there I would stay but this situation presently is very frustrating

Why on earth didn't your partner just come and sleep in your room and leave his sister to it in his bed?

I have a small single bed :(

So he'd rather share a bed with his sister than snuggle up in a single with you? Or he could have suggested she borrow your bed and you sleep with him. The whole thing sounds weird.

I cannot get past her sharing a bed with her brother. What a weird setup.

why do you and your partner of six years have separate rooms?