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Original poster

My bfs sister hates me and she's staying with us for a month-help please.

110 replies

jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 17:33

live in a house share with my partner and a house mate we found on spare room.
We each have our own room although I tend to sleep in my partners as he has the double bed. Me and the housemate pay rent, my partner only pays bills as the house we are renting is his mothers (she doesn’t live there, but is renting out as any other landlord).

For the past three weeks his sister has been staying with us, she has moved a lot of stuff in and for the first two weeks insisted on sleeping with my partner in the double bed until he asked her if she didn’t mind sleeping downstairs on a mattress.

I usually wouldn’t mind this but the issue is that she is very rude to me. She has had an attitude problem with me since day once, never makes conversation with me, and doesn’t even say hi when she comes into the house. She hasn’t asked anyone in the house if it is ok for her to stay so long, she leaves her mess lying around (which I usually end up having to tidy), she uses my things without asking, and despite the fact I have tried to be nice to her and make an effort with her for 5 years, her attitude towards me stinks.

She also used to do be like this when me and my partner rented our own flat together and she would invite herself over to stay which meant I had to cancel plans for my friends to come over as it was a very small flat and she needed to sleep in the living room.

As a result of the state of the house and her attitude towards me, I don’t feel comfortable being there and I even find it awkward to go in the kitchen when she’s there because she doesn’t even acknowledge me and when I try to be nice to her she just talks to me like a dog. I’ve resorted to staying with my parents until she leaves (which I am unsure when that will be). She is staying in the house for free while I am paying 420 quid for the past month where I’ve been made to feel unwelcome there, but I don’t feel the right to say anything as it’s her mums house. Any advice on what I should do or anyone know what my rights are please?

OP posts:
Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 18:27

I would suggest she sleeps in my room but she’s used my stuff without asking way too many times for me to feel like she can sleep in my room without my possessions being touched

OP posts:
ElspethFlashman · 04/08/2018 18:35

You're with him 6 years and he gets a big double room and you're in a single???

After 6 years??!

Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 18:45

I always sleep in his double room. My roI’m is mainly used as storage for myself but it has a single bed in that I end up sleeping in when she comes round.

OP posts:
MoveOnTheCards · 04/08/2018 18:51

Hang on, did you and your partner used to live together, then you moved into his mum’s place, where you have separate rooms, you pay rent (for a single room) and he doesn’t (for a double)? And his sister lives rent free, presumably with you rent-paying lodgers covering bills? Why???!

Ginorchoc · 04/08/2018 18:53

How old is she? He needs to step up and sort this out.

HoleyCoMoley · 04/08/2018 18:56

You could move your stuff out and into his room, she can sleep in your old room, either that or you move out, that's a weird set up and I wouldn't want to be part of it. Why are you letting them walk all over you.

Bombardier25966 · 04/08/2018 19:04

This is very familiar, have you posted about it elsewhere? And your partner is fine with sharing with his sister, and not bothered about you feeling put out? Get some self respect and leave him.

OtherUsername · 04/08/2018 19:05

The whole situation sounds really weird Confused is this a relationship you see going anywhere?

Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 19:05

I won’t go into it much but we broke up and got back together so it did mean moving out and eventually back in with each other.

I think she’s like 30 odd or so. I can’t say I care enough to know for sure.

OP posts:
Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 19:06

Yeh I’ve posted about it elsewhere cos I wasn’t sure if I was being selfish etc so I wanted to get a range of opinions

OP posts:
Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 19:08

The relationship is absolutely fine when she’s not invading our personal space. Other than her being there I’m happy when she’s not and this is the first problem we have had in ages. We even started saving for our own house.

OP posts:
Cheekyandfreaky · 04/08/2018 19:10

Have you told your partner how uncomfortable she makes you feel and how you don’t like her using your stuff?

Rosarollo · 04/08/2018 19:10

I got as far as sharing a bed with her brother. Wtf?? How old is your bro? Fucking weird.

Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 19:11

I have and he just said tell that to her not me.

He’s 25 this year

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 04/08/2018 19:12

He values his sister over you. He prefers to share a bed with his sister rather than you.

That's not a healthy relationship.

Coyoacan · 04/08/2018 19:14

I don't think I could cope with a man who sleeps with his sister. These are beyond the bounds of even uncivilised society.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 04/08/2018 19:17

Id leave the pair of them to it and find a new house and relationship if i were you

Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 19:17

Yeh you’re right, it’s a bit weird and if it was me I’d ask my sibling to sleep elsewhere. Surely staying around is enough do you actually need to sleep with him too?

OP posts:
multiplemum3 · 04/08/2018 19:18

I can't get passed that they share a bed, that's so weird. I'd be long gone

Original poster
jellybeanmoon · 04/08/2018 19:19

He said he can do what he wants cos it’s “his room”.

OP posts:
multiplemum3 · 04/08/2018 19:19

Past*

lillylollylandy · 04/08/2018 19:22

Just read your last post OP.

Listen very carefully To what he's saying .

He's telling you he doesn't care about you or your feelings. Don't waste any more time on him.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 04/08/2018 19:23

Id leave the pair of them to it and find a new house and relationship if i were you

OlennasWimple · 04/08/2018 19:27

No, it's not his sister ruining your relationship, it's your DP who doesn't care for you that's ruining your relationship

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 04/08/2018 19:31

Run away op!