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Original poster

I've fallen out of love with my house

84 replies

Misty9 · 17/02/2018 20:08

It's a perfectly nice 3 bed 1930s semi and has a lovely kitchen extension and recently landscaped garden. But, like a stale relationship, I'm only seeing the negatives and annoying 'quirks' now. We've been here 4 years and I'd welcome a move but dh is adamant we're staying.

Help me fall back in love with it! Tips to rekindle the 'feeling' are desperately needed please. Or can you never go back once at this stage?

OP posts:
peachypetite · 17/02/2018 20:09

What exactly is it you don't like?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/02/2018 20:10

Can you post some photos?

What ‘quirks’ are annoying you?

Victorianmirror · 17/02/2018 20:11

Every house has negatives and annoying quirks when you get to know it. Can you do anything to address yours? Rest assured, if you move you will find some in the new house...

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/02/2018 20:11

Oh & who died & made your husband God? Since when does your opinion count for less than his?

Casmama · 17/02/2018 20:12

Can you redecorate? It might make it feel a bit newer and fresher for you.

Kismett · 17/02/2018 20:12

Can you refresh a room, or even just move furniture around to make it feel a bit different? Wondering if it's boredom and you need to mix things up!

SingaSong12 · 17/02/2018 20:13

As PP what are the quirks? Also what were the things that made you like and buy the house - are they still relevant? (eg near a good school, but DC now at university)

TooFatForTahiti · 17/02/2018 20:20

We're making a to-do list for our place, as we've been here 5 years now. Priced out of moving anywhere near the DC's schools, we have to stay put.

On our list:
Replace kitchen pendant light.
Replace weird plantation style ceiling fans throughout.
Paint kitchen cupboard and replace handles (can't afford to replace right now).
Paint over dark (and dated) feature wall in the living room.
Update bathroom accessories (towel rail, paper holder etc).

Little jobs, but dealing with some of the things we hate most!

Original poster
Misty9 · 17/02/2018 22:42

Yes, it’s the little things which have piled up and feel overwhelming to address. We have redecorated pretty much most of the house, most recently dds bedroom was renovated and is the nicest room in the house - wasted on a 3yo!

The ‘quirks’ are, teeny main bathroom (not much scope to change that save for knocking down walls), clutter every-bloody-where as we just don’t seem to get storage furniture right very often, poor layout of kitchen (and only room not decorated by us), depressingly decorated bedroom (ours).

I’m definitely planning to at least redecorate our bedroom so it feels like more of a sanctuary for me but am struggling to find enthusiasm due to aforementioned falling out of love with the house in general.

singasong the main thing that made us love and buy the house was the extension, which looks a bit tired now but will cost a lot to update.

annieanoni sadly this is one of the many issues upon which we hold opposing views, so compromise isn’t really possible...even though I seem to be the one doing it most often. Moving areas to enable my career to have a fighting chance is another one...

OP posts:
peachypetite · 17/02/2018 22:51

We are preparing to sell our house and have spent all of today decluttering. It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. We took bags down to the charity shop and I have thrown out three black bin liners of crap!

Itscurtainsforyou · 17/02/2018 23:01

I agree with a pp that decluttering is a good start.

Can you take one room at a time? There's not much you can do about a tiny bathroom (we have one too) but you could put extra cupboards on the wall to hold your stuff so that it's not out on display.

Can you re-organise your kitchen? Take it back to how you liked it at first?

But definitely get rid of a lot of stuff, it will probably make you feel much better if there's not stuff everywhere.

Original poster
Misty9 · 17/02/2018 23:17

We do declutter regularly - the kids can often be heard exclaiming "don't give that toy to charity!" Grin it's more that we get storage furniture wrong and then just get by with what we have. A complete lack of diy skills doesn't help. I did a course on it but am still defeated by walls which crumble if you so much as stick a drawing pin in them, let alone drill a hole Shock

Our bathroom is so small there is no room for wall storage unless we drill into the tiled bits. See above re diy incompetence..

OP posts:
BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 17/02/2018 23:20

Can you realistically afford to move? Moving costs, increased mortgage plus the cost of doing next house up? (No matter how nice you think a house is you will want to do stuff to it) If you can afford it then there is no reason for you to stay, however 4 years is not a particularly long time to stay in a house, do you just have a low boredom threshold?

Original poster
Misty9 · 17/02/2018 23:25

It's the longest I've stayed in a house since a child, so I think I'm just too used to moving around! We could afford to upsize and move but dh flatly refuses so not much I can do about that. He is of the opinion that if he doesnt see a problem, there isnt one Hmm
We are looking at the viability of a loft conversion to help with upstairs space but due to the roof type I've a feeling it won't be viable.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 17/02/2018 23:27

Might it just be classic ennui? We moved into our tired 30s 3 bed semi with eyes wide open. Only been here 10 weeks so still remember all the houses for a similar price that hit the mark far less. All the internals can be changed for far less than the cost of moving. Even a new kitchen!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 17/02/2018 23:41

Misty are you sure moving is the change you need? If it were me I’d be replacing MrItsAllAboutMe.

Original poster
Misty9 · 17/02/2018 23:42

Quite possibly pickachew and I have told dh that if he won't move then the compromise is spending money to make me love it again! Trouble is, it's so much work finding tradespeople and making choices. I'd happily pay someone quite a lot of money to just oversee fulfilment of my wish list.

Had it valued recently (I managed to drag dh to a viewing but ours is much nicer) and the agent basically sounded like he was selling my own house to me as he clearly rated it!

OP posts:
Original poster
Misty9 · 17/02/2018 23:43

Oh believe me it has crossed my mind annie !!

OP posts:
Itscurtainsforyou · 17/02/2018 23:53

Op - our houses sound very similar.

Something we've done is get a big IKEA "cube" unit with drawers in some spaces, other spaces used as book shelves etc. It stores loads, is against the wall in the kitchen so doesn't take up a huge amount of space.

Would that work?

Original poster
Misty9 · 18/02/2018 00:05

We have one of those (kallax?) in the playroom itscurtains and it's one of the things I'm not keen on as all the clutter is on display! Even the kids wander around moaning that they don't know what to play with as there are "too many toys" !

I think the one room at a time advice is good and I will start with our bedroom - when I've found the motivation/inspiration

OP posts:
Original poster
Misty9 · 18/02/2018 00:06

Has anyone else fallen out of love with their home and managed to get that feeling back??

OP posts:
PlateOfBiscuits · 18/02/2018 00:06

You should go on Love It or List It!

Original poster
Misty9 · 18/02/2018 00:14

I've said the same to dh plate ! Grin

OP posts:
PlateOfBiscuits · 18/02/2018 00:28

Grin Do it! All you need is a spare 30grand for Kirsty to knock down walls with.

Original poster
Misty9 · 18/02/2018 00:32

Grin I know! we always laugh at people who list it in the end as they won't get back what they've spent.

OP posts:
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