Things you would NEVER want in your house:

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I'll start.

A kitchen island.
A hall console table.
A corner sofa.
New rugs.

I am thinking of getting a plumbed-in Miele coffee machine.

I agree devora.. If you are confident in your own style and tastes and not dictated to heavily by what is ' current' then it is likely your home will be timeless.
However, I find that I like most things less when they become ubiquitous ( like metro tiles, which do not offend me especially in themselves).

I began collecting old tea sets as a teenager ( not called 'vintage' back in those days) and will always have a fondness for a bit of what is now, disparagingly, known as shabby- chic. Cath kidston has a lot to answer for...

Wallpaper in the bathroom. Especially the shower (not joking, sadly - I assume it was never used).

The long linen curtains 'puddling' on the floor look lovely but all I can think is - bugger me, that'd gather dust.

How should one attach one's puddlers to the curtain pole though?

The kitchen island is the best thing in my house. It's 8 foot long by 4 wide and has 9 massive drawers on one side and seating on the other. It's literally the place where people gather, I can cook and supervise kids (open to the family room).

The other thing that I couldn't live without is every bedroom has built in or wAlk in wardrobes. They are essential (it's hard to even find wardrobes in furniture stores here).

I would hate in a house - neighbours too close, small windows/low ceilings, lack if natural light.

Second what Aussie mum said about wardrobes, they don't exist here, all built-in or walk-in.

The light is what I love in Au, flooding in, :o

Oh definitely metro tiles. They just make me think of those awful old fashioned public lavatories - so grim.

Travertine tiles.
UPVC windows.
Mice.
Glass bricks.

A machine which minces up poo and attempts to make it flow uphill.

Are there such machines for poo?

I would hate

bigots
wasps
outspoken religious people

I think piglet is talking about those macerator toilets? saw an advert on tv the other day, sounded gross.

A macerator toilet?

I must lead a sheltered life.

Second hand furniture
A deep fat fryer (I know people who deep fat fry INSIDE their house! Without the windows open! I even saw them do this with clean washing on the drying rack in the same room!!)

No second hand furniture?

So you don't like antiques?

TV on the wall, and particularly those above fireplaces
Wanky letters (EAT, SLEEP etc)
Industrially mass-produced canvas prints (typically from next or ikea)
Vertical blinds

Open plan kitchen / reception
Breakfast bar
Front door opening into reception room
Glass bricks
TVs on the wall
Inspirational slogans & posters, etc
Carpet - don't like it and am slowly replacing all carpeted floors with wood with rugs
Feature walls
Non mixer taps - one more to get rid of in our house
Vermin of any sort

We've got various other style don'ts mentioned by others

I think all of mine have been covered here.

We do have a conservatory but it's the width of the house and half brick with wooden windows - built with the house in the 1950s. I can't bear white plastic ones.

Top three of never in my house

Awful 3D words.
Sayings on the wall
Huge glittery mirrors with sparkly bits. Anything with sparkly bits, actually.

Glade fucking stinking plug-ins, or any other air "freshener" of that kind.
Those giant words on the wall (Home, Love, etc.)
Shag pile carpet.

I've had a think overnight so would like to add;

Metal wall art
Those super tall wooden carved giraffes/face masks
Feature baths in bedrooms. Is nothing sacred?
Glass box extensions which cost a fortune but then all the homeowners do is place an Eames recliner in it. Why bother?

After this thread I actually dreamt that I have a bidet in my bathroom and just hadn't noticed it before

No antumbra I really do not like antiques (unless they're in a museum and well cleaned/preserved)
Thumbwitches - couldn't agree more RE those air freshener plug-ins, they always smell like they're trying to cover up mildew! Also general airfresheners - cannot be healthy for anyone's respiratory system and smell like public toilets

Entirely yes I hate those modern doors too, especially if the original 1930s door was ripped out!

Our 1930s house is the only one on the street without the original door - a horrid 1960s one instead with textured glass. All our neighbours have lovely 1930s stained glass panels in their doors. Rather have our 60s door than a modern one though. We do have a PVC door on the storm porch as well, which I loathe aesthetically, but for energy saving/draught excluding/security I think it's essential.

Why do I hate kitchen islands? I don't like the idea of a fixed piece of furniture in the middle of the room which can't be shoved out of the way to clean, or to have a dance. I would think it makes the room look smaller and I'd always be bumping into it.

I especially don't like islands when they have a hob or sink in them, because I like sinks under the window, and I would worry a hob in the middle of the room would be unsafe.

Thigs which are generic or impersonal. I like to feel that everything has some sort of meaning or story behind it.

Vertical blinds (don't mind horizontal)
Telly on wall - has to be eye level. I get a sore neck at BIL's house looking up for so long.
Live, love, laugh etc.
Conservatory (unless properly heated and shaded and doesnt have wicker conservatory furniture in)
Boring old boxy dark brown leather sofa from Next.
Cushion trends: Union jacks, stags etc
Windowless bathroom.
Washer/dryer. Would rather just have a decent washing machine if no space for separate.
Wooden floors - we deliberately chose decent quality laminate over real wood when we had our extension done as can't be bothered with wooden floor maintenance, especially somewhere like kitchen diner.
Same with worktop. Prefer granite but money ran out. Could have had wood but ditto the maintenance so opted for decent laminate wood effect and definitely made the right decision.
Gas hob. Induction hob has changed my life!
Wood burner. Don't think people coveting them realise the hassle.
Dark glossy kitchen units with dark sparkly granite/effect worktops. Something like Peter Stringfellow would have.