Things you would NEVER want in your house:

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I'll start.

A kitchen island.
A hall console table.
A corner sofa.
New rugs.

I am thinking of getting a plumbed-in Miele coffee machine.

I don't like original windows in period houses. I much prefer a nice plastic window.

One thing I loathe is carpet in loos and bathrooms. Which we have (and are slowly getting rid of).

AlbertSpangler I am truly not looking forward to scraping the woodchip off the kitchen walls. So much so that we are considering building an extension just so we can start a new kitchen with a blank, woodchip-free canvas

A friend of mine did strip all the wood chip out of her house by herself and put the pictures onto FB. We were, as you can imagine, in awe of her skills.

I love carpet. Its so nice underfoot.

I would hate a laminate. Too slidey and cold.

The best £30 we ever spent was on one of those wallpaper steamers. It's basically a rectangular kettle, combined with a sort of shovel-shaped steam delivery plate on the end of a long tube.Our house is covered all over with astonishingly ugly wallpaper (including, in some rooms, TWO DIFFERENT TYPES OF UGLY WALLPAPER SEPARATED BY A DADO RAIL ) so we are definitely getting value for money

I like carpet too, with some reservations. I replaced my laminate with carpet as I was sick of it being cold underfoot and noticed a general noise reduction, not just from footsteps. They are getting a bit mucky now though so I have the nuisance of either getting a carpet washer or paying someone to do it.

Things I'd never want

Carpet in bathroom or kitchen - everywhere else fine.
Stupid signs with Love or Home or some other such twee nonsense.
Bidet
Quooker - I'd leave it if already there but would never buy one and wouldn't be a selling point when looking for a house
Wet room
Wooden worktops in kitchen, because I will only stain it indelibly within a week

Thinking about the outside, I won't buy a house with a back garden which is entirely or mostly decking or patio. I like gardening so it's a real turn-off.

I quite like that my wooden work surfaces are bit marked...gives them a pleasing patina! I think my preferences are a bit unusual though...I have no tiles in my kitchen or bathroom. Hate tiles! The walls are just skimmed and painted. I don't have a fitted kitchen either.

I my experience buying a house is always a compromise. Unless you are very rich then you will never find a house that is completely perfect.

I have just bought a lovely 5 bedroomed large house - lots of downstairs space, big bedrooms, it is in a lovely leafy quiet area 2 minutes walk from a rail station taking me into the heartr of the city.
The house was an absolute bargain.

But- it has a lot of decking and a failry small garden ( I love gardening), laminate flooring downstairs- except livingroom ( carpet), the same flooring extends from the front door, downstairs Wc, hall, dining room and conservatory. The downstairs wc and sink is some strange spa/font type design which I don't like. The bath is small, and we have a front door and large porch which is all UPVC.

Even with all the negative stuff I still love the house, and overall the benefits far outweigh the bad stuff.

In my experience all houses are like this.

UPVC windows and doors
En suite bathroom
Cushions on bed
Coffee pod machine
Electric kettle
Laminate flooring

OMG Manny, I was just reading my TIO and saw that comment re. the original windows, it looked like it was from you - so glad it wasn't, I was as well!

plastic windows and doors - particuarly in old properties
love original wooden windows, especially sash windows
hate wood chip
hate artex - just had to remove artex from a room which had it on all 4 walls and the ceiling - yuk
dislike different carpet in every room
love oriental rugs (no polyester there)

Thumb

A wet room. I hate them. How are you supposed to stop the loo roll getting splashed and going soggy?

I think wet rooms only work well in hot countries.

I lived in the tropics for a while- we had a mandi (traditional indonesian bath) which was lovely, the whole room was soaked ( and designed to be) But the temperature outside was 35 degrees.

I wouldn't like a wet room in the cold country.

Oh and no-one uses toilet paper in Indonesia.

Don't understand why no kitchen island please explain?! Have enormous kitchen and island is fab lots of storage and bar stools to eat breakfast/friends to sit while I cook. Really wouldn't see why you would be against?

Anything 70s extreme ie orangey pine, swirly aertex tiles on ceiling. In laws house basically unchanged since 1974 mil baffled as to why it didn't sell.

Also cringe at large professional photos of family on walls - don't know why but seems naff. Obviously agree with the word thing always want to change "bath" "love" to "shit" or "sod off"

Ooh wet rooms. Yes I too wouldn't want one.

Especially a badly thought out one where the shower is by the door and unless the floor's been totally dried you (or your child) risk seriously hurting yourself going to the loo

I've had three wet rooms now and never had soggy loo roll. Good ones are designed so the camber of the floor directs the splash and contains it in the showering area. (Wet rooms are amazingly accessible.) Ours has a heated floor anyway so it dries very quickly, but the last one did not, but it had the loo, sink, and shower in a line so the loo was at the door? So even if the floor was wet you could use the loo and sink no problem.

So I guess with a lot of things it's about poor execution.

I'd LOVE a kitchen island. And a wet room. I've stayed in a hotel in the Netherlands with a gorgeous wet room, and that's not a hot country.

Oh yes, agree with wet rooms in the UK. Take too long to dry out, attract mould etc.

Can see the advantage for disabled people, where they have a chair to sit on and a wall grip thing.
Otherwise, a walk in shower with a screen is much better.

i've lived on a boat for a week- the bathroom was a toilet, small sink, shower head, and a drainage slit in the floor for the shower

Posted too soon - meant to say on the boat everything got wet, even the toilet seat, and all the proper wet rooms I've experienced since have been bad. Yes, it does all depend on the way it's done. Done badly, it's crap.

No electric kettle

How do you manage without one? I don't just use the kettle for hot drinks.

I don't like wet room either. I like shower water to be contained in a cubicle, not left on the floor for someone to slip over in.

And why the hatred for UPVC windows? We once lived in a house with Georgian wood framed windows. I spent all summer repainting them one year - never again. Wooden windows need too much looking after.

Fitted kitchens where they use every single bit of the room and fill it with units. Ugh.

Oh and no-one uses toilet paper in Indonesia

What? WHAT? antumbra, please come back & explain!

Any built in gadgetry
Built in wardrobes
Kitchen Island (designed for bruising hips on yanno)