Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Original poster

Bought house with parents, now they want their money back in one go.

187 replies

DreamlessSleep · 08/10/2013 11:46

My mum and step dad suggested that they helped us buy a house 5 years ago when our landlord was selling the house we were in, but now they want all their money back in one go (70,000 I don't begrudge them for wanting it but think they could have gone about it in a different way) and obviously we don't have this. We tried remortgaging but they won't take their names off the mortgage therefore we cant as they are now deemed too old to be on our mortgage.

Are there any other options I have not thought of apart from from selling? (Which is the option it looks like we will have to go for at the moment.) We were naive when we bought it and in hindsight we should have stuck to renting.

OP posts:
Katz · 20/10/2013 08:39

Surely it makes no difference to them if you remortgage and buy them out or if you sell to someone else. They get their money. In both cases their names would come off the mortgage. Can you not be a little devious. Tell them you have a seller. Tell then the price and simply work with your solicitor on just changing the mortgage from the 4 of you to you and your partner. Why should they know who the buyer is.

RandomMess · 20/10/2013 09:09

What I don't understand is why they are on the mortgage as well as deeds? Are they helping to pay off the mortgage as well? Did you put any equity into the property at all? This is the detail that I'm not 100% sure on, who paid all the legal fees to buy etc. how long have you owned the property?

MadeOfStarDust · 20/10/2013 09:26

If I were them at the start I would have insisted on my 70k being a charge on the deeds - not a loan as such, not an investment as such - then if you and your partner split up, I would get my money back on sale of the property....

If they went down this route, then if the house is sold they get their 70k (if the house is sold for more than 70k)- no sharing of any losses....

MokuMoku · 20/10/2013 12:12

I'm glad you have decided to take legal advice on this. What a shitty situation to be in though :(

ilikecooking · 21/10/2013 23:29

Please check to see if your house insurance has legal cover/protection included. A call to your insurer will tell you the answer. This could be your saviour.

Fluffycloudland77 · 22/10/2013 07:51

Some employers run a free legal helpline for staff, it's a complicated area though.

I hope you don't have to sell it to a third party.

ettiketti · 22/10/2013 07:58

Without going into detail as it would out me, something similar happened round with my MIL and stepFIL many years ago.

We had no choice but to move and relocate hundreds of miles to another area where I had some family. MIL was furious but there was no other way (she wanted far more than her fair share and sadly we had been foolish enough to think she was going to be reasonable when it came to this!).
DH hasn't spoken to her since and forbids me to. I go between guilt as we have children, and thinking she did this herself.
It was out of the blue, overnight, driven by stepFIL but she's a grown woman so no excuse.

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 11:17

Another update, we sought advice, technically we could put a fight for the money and split whatever we got for the house between the four of us but some one else has actually put a decent offer in for the house and we've decided to get rid as dh and I would no longer want the house anyway through all we've been through and give them whatever money we get for it. We don't want to be beholden to them at all.

OP posts:
tribpot · 30/10/2013 11:26

So you're actually going to cough over their 70K, even though you will be making a loss on the house?

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 11:36

They won't get all of it. With fees and the fact it is now worth a fair bit less but we dont want them to be able to ever say we didnt try our best to get back the money.

OP posts:
Geckos48 · 30/10/2013 11:42

So sorry you are in this position, they sound bloody awful

for what its worth, I think you have made the right call, just don't give them any reason to say you are beholden to them or owe them anything.

Walk away and, if it were me, I would cut all contact.

contortionist · 30/10/2013 11:49

It's your money! Don't give away tens of thousands just to avoid feeling uncomfortable.

It sounds like you've taken advice about how the sale proceeds should be divided. So share that advice with your parents, and then follow it exactly. You don't owe them a penny more.

Saminthemiddle · 30/10/2013 11:53

The same thing happened to me with my dad and stepmother but I had to sell as I got divorced. Our relationship was never the same again because they wanted more of the profit, which basically left me with nothing after fees. I think the best you can do is take that advice which is split the sale 4 ways and try and start again. I had to borrow the deposit from another family member for the next very small house but fortunately it went up in value so I got over it in the end, but our relationship was never the same. I ended up writing my dad a pretty heartfelt letter which he ignored! It sounds as though it is your step dad that is causing the trouble, not your mum, so maybe you can have a heart to heart with her somehow.
Never again would I get involved with family members and buying property, especially if step parents are involved.

tribpot · 30/10/2013 11:53

Ah okay, so you are going to split the loss with them. Based on percentage of original investment, presumably. Seems bloody stupid unless they actually can make use of the capital loss (I am trying to sell a property for that reason but not evicting members of my family in order to do so!). But an even split of the proceeds allows you to separate your finances from these people in a way that is indisputable.

After that, the real damage to your relationship can be assessed. Quite frankly I would little more to do with them.

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 11:56

We need a clean break from them. We will never go into anything like this again.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 30/10/2013 12:43

I can really understand your need to draw a line underneath it all and move on without them.

How much are you going to lose out on Sad

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 13:08

We lose the 10 thousand we put in as deposit and then we lose the 16 we've paid off. Plus fees and surveys we previously had done.

OP posts:
DreamingAlice · 30/10/2013 13:24

No no no noooooo. Please don't give them more than they are due. Please follow the advice you were given and split it accordingly. Are they really suggesting they want you to wind up with absolutely nothing- no house and no money? You are not beholden to them- nobody is coming out of this well!! Your relationship is irrevocably damaged as it is, I fail to see how getting a fair split of the money will make it worse. :(

RandomMess · 30/10/2013 13:35

At what point will the agreeement about how to split it be put down in a legally binding document/agreement. I'd say the right things for now and then change my mind when it comes to the last minute - that is far too much to lose!!!

tribpot · 30/10/2013 13:35

What? Why? Are you still trying to pay them their 70 back? It doesn't work that way. Couldn't it actually look like money laundering? What was your solicitor's advice?

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 13:56

They wont get anywhere near 70 back its just not possible. We still have to see them occasionally for the sake of the kids and if we don't give them what we can it will be brought up all the time and made to feel guilty all the time. I dont need the hassle of that. We arent rushing into anything and it will be done properly.

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 30/10/2013 14:25

That is a very good point about money laundering.

Definitely get legal advice and everything in writing.

You really don't want a tax and police investigation on top of everything else.

Property "development" is a classic method of money laundering.

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 14:30

Cant see it being classed as money laundering, they wont be gaining anything from it.

OP posts:
tribpot · 30/10/2013 14:49

But their loss is disproportionately small. I would double-check this before you go ahead.

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 30/10/2013 14:50

Ok will do. I hadn't even thought of anything like that.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread