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Original poster

Bought house with parents, now they want their money back in one go.

187 replies

DreamlessSleep · 08/10/2013 11:46

My mum and step dad suggested that they helped us buy a house 5 years ago when our landlord was selling the house we were in, but now they want all their money back in one go (70,000 I don't begrudge them for wanting it but think they could have gone about it in a different way) and obviously we don't have this. We tried remortgaging but they won't take their names off the mortgage therefore we cant as they are now deemed too old to be on our mortgage.

Are there any other options I have not thought of apart from from selling? (Which is the option it looks like we will have to go for at the moment.) We were naive when we bought it and in hindsight we should have stuck to renting.

OP posts:
TessDurbeyfield · 18/10/2013 16:07

You are actually in a much stronger position than you think. Pull the house from the market and refuse to sell.

Think of it from their perspective. They want their £70K back but you don't want to sell. They can't sell the house without your agreement unless they go to court. If they go to court then that's a huge amount of money and time to spend and they might not get what they want anyway. It's not an automatic thing at all. The court need to look at why the house was bought in the first place (for you to live there) and if it's still being used for that (it is), they also have to think of the needs of any child living there (is there?). So if they want to force a sale they risk spending a load of money and time and losing. If they win, well they've lost all that money anyway AND...

... then they'd have to work out what they got back. This can be really complicated. It should be written into the original deeds but if it's not then the law is hugely complex which means hugely expensive. Given the house has gone down in value and there are costs of sale etc it's very unlikely they'll get their £70K back even before they've paid legal and court fees.

In the meantime you say that they're on the mortgage which means that they're also legally liable for the mortgage. So if you stopped paying then the mortgage company could go after them.

Now I really wouldn't want to be in their position. They are liable for your mortgage, it's difficult for them to get their cash back and it's really uncertain how much they'd get back anyway.

No wonder they are bullying you into signing your rights away.

kilmuir · 18/10/2013 16:08

Please post on legal section, wise words and help on there

EldritchCleavage · 18/10/2013 16:10

Yep, ou see I think they have taken advicew, they know their position is not a strong one, so they are trying to bullying you into acting to give them £70k quickly, before anyone tells you you aren't obliged to do that.

Oops, too late! The power of Mumsnet is a wonderful thing...

PastaBeeandCheese · 18/10/2013 16:18

Ass much as I agree with the sentiment fluffy they don't deserve their £70k back morally or legally. If they insist on the property being sold now then they take the hit on the loss and pay half the fees.

OP has offered them the chance to have their full investment back provided they view it as a loan and relinquish any interest in the property.

OP has been extremely reasonable and I'd be telling them that those are the two options and they can whistle for anything else.

No way would I sell the house and give them £70k.

friday16 · 18/10/2013 16:23

So if you stopped paying then the mortgage company could go after them.

Why would they bother? There's a property the loan is secured over. Given the massive complexity, they'd just go for repossession. That would be the last thing the OP needs.

PastaBeeandCheese · 18/10/2013 16:26

I agree friday but in that scenario wouldn't all 4 parties would be liable for the loss and fees as the repossession wouldn't cover the outstanding loan??

If that is right then its another reason why the parents need to accept they take the hit too or accept OP's very generous offer to repay them £70k if they take name off mortgage and relinquish interest.

CreatureRetorts · 18/10/2013 16:36

Get legal advice and don't be bullied by your mother.

Yes she's your mother but I would cut all contact, including with your DS, and keep it strictly to conversations about the house.

What a horrible thing to do - would you do that to your own child OP?

What's the step father like? Is it him driving this?!

lljkk · 18/10/2013 16:36

What percentage of the house do you each own, OP?
The solicitor who handled the conveyancing should be able to look it up for you without charging you any money for that information. Just phone their office and ask them to check. Your bank who holds the mortgage may have same info & won't charge you for it.

I can't imagine how painful this is for you. :(

PuggyMum · 18/10/2013 16:42

What will they do with their £70k if they get it? If it's to try to et a decent return somewhere else they won't get a decent rate in a bank account!

Might be worth seeing if they would accept a monthly return from you instead?

But anything you do moving forward, please get advice. If you can crystallise the arrangement so everyone knows where they're at from here on in.

I second the poster who says don't sell the house. Certainly not at a silly offer!

holidaysarenice · 18/10/2013 17:01

You definitely have the stronger position than they do.

There are so many points on here that you can use:
A) they are liable for the mortgage too.
B) the investment has decreased.
C) you do not have to sell and return 70000.

If you feel its hard to tell them to f off, then think of the loss you are taking, picture ur dd, then picture her without/with things that could buy her.

My impartial advice to see a solicitor to outline the possible situations to your parents. Then outline what you plan to do.

friday16 · 18/10/2013 17:26

wouldn't all 4 parties would be liable for the loss and fees as the repossession wouldn't cover the outstanding loan??

Has the OP mentioned the mortgage being in negative equity? In order for a repo to not cover the loan the property would have had to have dropped in value by more than the seventy grand the parents put in. under the circumstances, if that had happened, the situation would be a great deal messier than it already is. So I think that a repo would be sufficient. In any event, there's probably insurance for the lender against a loss on a repo, and the people who would then chase the borrowers would be the insurance company post sale.

lljkk · 18/10/2013 18:01

op said the property is worth £27k less than purchase price.

friday16 · 18/10/2013 18:06

op said the property is worth £27k less than purchase price.

So it's not in negative equity. The whole problem is that the OP's parents injected £70k of equity at the outset. There's still £43k of equity. No problem for a repo.

TessDurbeyfield · 18/10/2013 18:18

Friday - I'm in no way suggesting she should stop paying the mortgage just that the parents are in a very vulnerable position. By being on the mortgage they're liable for the debt too. I wouldn't want to be in that position at all if I were them.

If I were the OP I would offer to pay them their share (dropped by the % loss in the value of the house) in return for taking them off the mortgage and deeds. That would seem the right thing to do and a very good deal for the parents

ExcuseTypos · 18/10/2013 18:28

Gosh what a nightmareSad.

-Please get legal advice

-Do NOT sell to a low offer

-Make sure your mum pays her share of the losses. - if she argues about this, tell her it's because she wants her money now. If she was to wait a year or so, the house will most probably rise in value and there will be no losses.

Good luck.

Helliecopter · 18/10/2013 19:30

I've no legal expertise and can't offer any better advice than what everyone else has said, but I just wanted to say good luck.

If you really do think your relationship with your parents is irreparably damaged by this now, then don't just sell at a low price and give them their money to have it all over and done with. Fight your corner and as horrid as it will be, it WILL be over eventually. Get legal advice (on here if nowhere else) and be firm with them. It's completely unreasonable to demand all their 'investment' back and as others have said, I think they're trying their luck because it's YOU that's in the strong position here. Where's the written agreement? Where's the proof they ever lent/gave/invested money?
Just because their names are on the mortgage what does that mean...find out. Go in armed with knowledge and be prepared to fight for your family and home.

Horrible situation to be in and I can't imagine how crap it's making you feel. What kind of parents would make their child sell their home? Sad

Keep us posted. I think lots of us will want to know how you get on.

x

NatashaBee · 18/10/2013 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

clam · 18/10/2013 20:27

OP, am I right in thinking that, even if the house sells at a loss, you're intending to give your parents 70k back?

Please tell me I've got that wrong!

bimbabirba · 18/10/2013 21:30

OP plead take legal advice. It doesn't have to cost a fortune but you can't let them ruin you, which is what they're about to do.

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 18/10/2013 23:20

Just got in from work, thanks for your advice agsin. We will definitely be getting legal advice. I have definitely learnt a life lesson here. Then dh and I have some very difficult decisions to make.

Clam They basically want all if not as much as possible.

PuggyMum they have talked about buying a student house to rent out, I feel bitter writing that.

CreatureRetorts I believe it is all from my step father even though the only conversations we have about it are through my mother. Its like he is is making my mother do all the dirty work.
In truth I dont know their motivation for doing this. I couldn't do it to a child of mine. It just seems a strange thing to expect after how much they pushed to buy this house.

OP posts:
Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 18/10/2013 23:23

Hellicopter technically there is no proof, but I wouldnt want to never give it back, we cant just give the whole amount now as we don't have it. Which is why I dont understand why they stopped us remortgaging.

OP posts:
clam · 19/10/2013 00:08

OK, so is their argument, "We lent you £70k, therefore that's what you owe us?" Because that falls flat the minute you remember that their name is on the mortgage, which means it was not a standard loan, but an investment, and those funds can go down as well as up.

Glad you're going to be getting legal advice.

CreatureRetorts · 19/10/2013 06:45

Not wanting to project here, but what is your stepfather like? How is your mum's relationship with him?
Mine is quite controlling and would pull this sort of stunt if he had the means but be too cowardly to spark to me and go through my mum. She would go along with it and act normal as that was her coping mechanism. Now, I am projecting but he could be bullying/controlling you now.

You have all the cards, treat this as a financial transaction and get the best deal for your immediate family. It's your home!! I can't believe how you've got to sell - a complete nightmare in itself.

CreatureRetorts · 19/10/2013 06:45

*speak not spark

Original poster
DreamlessSleep · 19/10/2013 08:31

He is pretty controlling, that is another issue she's had.

OP posts: