fuck and bollox been gazundered

[plim]

need some advice please, been gazundered two days before exchange by ftbuyers. They dropped their offer by 17k this morning stating the reason that it's going to cost them more than they thought to convert the office, outhouse and to do some remedial work like damp course, electrics and repointing.

The house is an absolute bargain already as we dropped the price by 40k to get a quick sale so we can get the house we want in time for my two children to start schools in september. We previously had tenants in there and they have now left, we have given notice on our tenancy for where we are living and are due to move in two weeks (completion date).

I immediately told the ea to stick it straight on the market and there has already been 3 viewings tonight, meanwhile, ea are trying to salvage the buyers offer by pointing out that there is electrical and damp certificates and a new damp course that was installed three months ago.

I am so, so devastated, don't know where we are going to live and god knows what to do about the kids school!!

fuckity fuck fuck

rant over! :(

Congrats plim so pleased for you.

You can borrow my toddler for a weekend before you move. Hiding unpleasant surprises is his speciality.

I'm really pleased you got there in the end Plim. You should absolutely give them a little idea of how stressed they've made you through out all this, I like the idea of the missing lightbulbs/empty bottle of wine.

Go to charity shops and buy up evil small talking young childrens toys.

Purchase a supply of batteries.

Set toys to on.

Hide in cupboards.

Leave a note asking new owners not to anger the ghost.

I once nearly smashed my car up when a plastic childs steering wheel that had been hidden put in the boot started singing 'where are we going today?' in scary voice. They seem to go off at totally random intervals.

The previous owners of our house took the loo roll holder with them. They then plastered the hole left in the wall and painted over it. They also took the coat hooks from the back of the bedroom doors, and one curtain rail. Utterly weird, perhaps they were diamond encrusted because they left us some nice curtains in other rooms so it's not like they stripped the house to annoy us.

Am so pleased for you!
A few dead mice from the pet shop (the sort they freeze for snake/pet food not dead pets)...Lift a few floor boards and pop them in...a couple in the loft....have them hunting the smell and then terrified they have a mouse infestation.

A handful of soot from the fireplace on the end of a paintbrush. Gentle blows towards ominous looking corners.....make it look like ooodddlees of damp in previously hidden places.

In addition leave the place OK with a cheapo bottle and the goodwishes note, May make them feel a tad guilty (though I doubt it) about fucking you around so much- leave with dignity and a sting...

Fish paste on the lightbulbs, so it doesn't smell all the time - only smells when the lights warm up - very confusing!

Never had the need to do this but it sounds cunning to me!

very very very pleased and relieved
Many happy years in your new school home! xxxxxxxxxxxx
You'll be needing a large one of these

Well done Plim!! Lost track of the amount in the end, did they get it for 3.5K under the asking price?

What about something garden related? Weed killer on the lawn in the shape of a giant comedy whanger and balls? If you did it the day you moved it wouldn't show for a while...

Congratulations! Can't believe what these people have put you through - karma will teach them a lesson soon .

I love the idea of dead mice in the loft and under the floorboards but do be careful stripping the house or leaving 'surprises' - they may need to forward post to you whilst Royal Mail gets its act together, and it's a civil offence to remove fixtures and fittings specified as included in the contract. (Granted, they'd have to be exceptionally brass-necked to sue you).

I once read about a loving husband who planted crocus bulbs in such a way on the front lawn that they spelt an 'i love you' message when viewed by his wife from the bedroom window.

How many would you need, do you think, for 'you gazundering c*nts'?

Yay plim!

Can't believe they have finally got their bums in gear. What utter wankers! Think you deserve the award for most stressful house purchase this year. So pleased for you it's all sorted.

Hang on plum did you have to reduce the house price by 17k in end or did they pay originally agreed price? I'm confused about that bit. But hurrah for getting there in end.

I am wondering whether there is any way to engineer such a thing???

So so glad this worked out for you though still cannot believe the way you have been treated. I am sure there will be plently of occasions for you to be cold and uncooperative without actually having to sabotage anything.

I vote for piffs idea

Dropped price by 3.5 not 17k, thank you sooooooooo much everyone, wouldn't have survived this with out you guys,

Oh and think I will take the moral high ground and leave nothing nasty but nothing nice either, just an empty house ( with a really horrible neighbour that we failed to mention)

That is bad neighbours need to be disclosed!

She's unpleasant to me but might be lovely to man headed babies

You don't have to noddy unless there have been legal or other official channels involved. If you just hate them, you're not obliged to tell the buyers. And I think plim's buyers deserve grief frankly for messing her around

Only certain things need to be disclosed eg legal action involving neighbours.

You could contact your local Assembly Hall right before you leave and express an interest.

I will happy buy you enough crocus bulbs to spell CUNTS on your front lawn!

You have to check your contract as to what is included in the sale. If it's legal, do what Maryz suggested.