Renting and problem with neighbours (we are the problem)

[QED]

I live in a semi detached house with two DC aged 7 and 5. Have been here about 18 months. Last week next door neighbour came round about 8:30 - older DC had jumped off my bed a few times and neighbour was cross. DC immediately stopped.

On Tuesday night somewhere between 8 and 8:30 neighbour came round. Older DC had been bouncing a ball in the kitchen; had been doing it for a few minutes. XH was here at the time and he spoke to neighbour as I got upset. XH then went round to neighbour's house and spoke to him. Turned out his wife does shift work (I had not known about this) and was asleep and the ball bouncing had woken her up and naturally she was upset. When XH spoke to him he came up with a list of things including crashing up and down the stairs, ball bouncing, using scooters in the close where we live including it once being left on someone else's drive in the summer, slamming doors, using the Wii (television fine which is good as we don't seem to get a freeview signal any more and so hardly watch any television).

I got a bit more upset when XH told me about the things and worked myself up into being arrested for noise abatement type things or at least being evicted. Have obviously now spoken to the children and we are making a big effort. Ball playing inside house now banned. Some of the things I don't know what we can do about - the front door needs to be slammed a bit to shut it but am trying to do it more quietly. The children don't go up and down stairs that much and the stairs are on the opposite side to the adjoining one IYSWIM but they occasionally jump from the third step up so I am stopping that. Was worried yesterday as I was getting things out of the attic with a pull down ladder and worried this will have disturbed them.

Got a call from the letting agent this morning and on Tuesday after speaking to XH the neighbour called our landlord who naturally got in touch with the letting agent to speak to me. Spoke to her this morning and I think I explained it but am obviously worried that our tenancy won't be renewed (I pay 6 monthly in advance and am paid up until April but worried we could be evicted before that).

Does anyone have experience from either side of a neighbour complaining about a tenant? And are the DC and I being unreasonable in what we do? I agree they sometimes make a bit of noise, but I am not wanting to invite friends round etc in case they are too noisy and on Tuesday night was dreading next week when the children are off school as we might be too loud :(

Sorry for length of that (am regular by the way but using one of my (many) rarely used names).

I've had noisy neighbours and it was hell. Explain to the neighbour about your door - let them see. I'm on the fence about this, not having heard your neighbours side, but I do have to ask why you would let your child play ball in the house?

Have come back again and thank you for more replies :)

The ball playing was a one off for about 3 minutes on one evening. The ball was bounced on the floor in the kitchen. As I have said there will be no more ball playing. I am not a perfect parent and occasionally my DC do things that aren't right.

The front door has been a bit of an issue for a while - there is something not quite right with it as it will close but then not lock and seems to need a firmer close to make it all right. I am trying hard to close it firmly enough without it being loud but when the letting agent speaks to me again I am going to mention it. It wouldn't lock at all last winter and someone came to fix it but possibly in the long run a new one would be better. I am writing down when I leave the house and as I said making an effort to make sure it isn't too loud. Am a biut paranoid about shutting the garage door now - it is an up and over type which you do have to close firmly but again I am trying to do it quietly

Off to get the children from school and hope we are all quiet (next door neighbours car has returned).

Don't be living on tenterhooks all the time. You've paid to live there, you've got a right to enjoy your home.

I think it's a bit precious to be complaining about something happening in your kitchen allegedly preventing someone sleeping upstairs next door?

I would just talk to them and find out when the lady needs to sleep and you can tailor your 'extra special quietness' around those times. And they abu to expect you to be psychic and realise that there was a shift worker next door when they hadn't told you. vVvVvVvU. I think your letting agent will have heard this all a million times before, so I would not worry too much. When it comes down to it, they want your money and so long as you are not destroying the landlords property, they will not give a stuff about your whiny neighbours.

the door needs to be planed so it shuts easily (and the bare wood needs then to be painted or it will swell in wet weather) and if the lock does not engage properly the keep might need to be moved (the recess will probably need chiselling out a fraction of an inch).

If the door is not locking properly that is not acceptable and the landlord must pay for it to be fixed. It is less than half a days work. Wooden doors and frames are very easy and cheap to maintain (unlike plastic ones)

Door is a plastic one :) There is something not quite right with one of the locking parts (highly technical term there) on the inside of the frame. It sometimes seems to catch and sometimes doesn't. That part broke last winter and was fixed but isn't entirely reliable. Will mention it to letting agent.

Both next door husband and wife have gone out (in separate cars). Am starting to feel like a nosy neighbour checking on them. They probably check on us though...

"Door is a plastic one"

there are local fitters who specialise in repairing and adjusting plastic doors. If fairly experienced, they tend to have seen all the problems and most of the types of fitting (of which there are a great many). A handyman might or might not be able to deal with it.

I'm depressed that people keep buying plastic doors when they are so much more expensive and troublesome than wooden ones

I work nights; I wear EARPLUGS!

Your neighbours are BU expecting you to be silent incase she is asleep during the day. It is neighbourly and considerate not to cut the grass or trim a hedge if you know your neighbour is sleeping in the day but you have to live your life.

Your neighbour is definitely being unreasonable. I can see their point about the ball, but as you have said, no more ball playing in the house. Fair enough. But the other things are just over the top, you shouldn't have to creep around your house, it is ridiculous. Yes, the landlord could get the front door fixed so that that causes less issues but honestly not using scooters etc. outside?

I would write down all their complaints to the letting agent, confirming that you have banned the ball bouncing and bed jumping from the house but honestly, not being able to open and close your doors is ridiculous!

My semi-detached neighbour is deaf as a post, lovely lady.
That's the sort of neighbour everyone wants.

I thought you were going to say she turns her telly up REALLY LOUD.

Judging by noise squad (bbc 1 @ 11am - new baby daytime tv disclaimer) you have nothing to worry about. They seem to have a great deal of trouble enforcing anything with very antisocial late night noise. Your neighbours seem totally unreasonable and I'm that you are worrying so much about it.

If shift work is their lifestyle then they have to deal with it without making totally unreasonable demands on their (more than considerate) neighbours.

And seriously? People are getting shitty about bouncing a ball inside? Not even in a flat? Come on people...!

Spoke to letting agent today. She had finally managed to speak to landlord (they kept missing each other) and he has no problems with any of this. It appears the neighbour plays bowls with landlord's father and spoke to him about it and then the landlord. Am tbh a bit pissed off about that but landlord seems to have said basically that yes we are a family with two children and there will be some noise sometimes and things like scooter riding are something that happens. And that he has no plans to get rid of me.

Am quite relieved although not too sure the neighbours like me too much at the moment . Children at their dad's house this weekend so hopefully all will be quiet.

I will have a look at other properties when this tenancy runs out in April but would only move if it were a cheaper one in the same area. Not sure whether I am going to talk to neighbours or not - letting agent actually said that she didn't think I needed to at all and that if I got worried about them to let the letting agents know.

Ball playing still banned and think I have found a way to close the door successfully and more quietly.

Renting is stressful sometimes though...

QED, glad you've been reassured, but for you and your dc's wellbeing, you must be able to enjoy your own home.

If the neighbour contacts you again, report them to the council. You can see from this thread that they are the problem, not you. You are an unusually considerate neighbour and you should be appreciated as such!

You know whats happened dont you?

The next door people thought that by speaking to the landlord because they have a friendship was going to get everything sorted out to their request - when they realised your landlord is realistic they decided to come round and see you.

Kids make noise- it cant be helped.

We live in a tiny terrace and next door is a rented house,we have 3 dc and always say to the new tenants to let us know straight away if we disturb them - the only time anything was said was when dh kept shouting at the boys to be quiet that disturbed the neighbour more than the child noise......at the moment my neighbour has a baby with her,the baby is very unsettled and cries often throughout the night - but shes a baby she cant help it and i wouldnt dream of complaining.

Dont worry,but perhaps try and offer an olive branch box of biscuits to your neighbour.

If your only noise is what you've told us, then you have no worries.

My Dh works nights, and in the summer had to put up with neighbour one side mowing the lawn every single day, followed by the neighbour the other side doing hers once a week; children outdoors playing; noisy DIY. It's par for the course. You can't expect everyone else to make no noise when you're asleep if you keep different hours to the rest of society.

Noise between 11pm and 7am is unacceptable, but outside of those times YANBU. (And I speak as someone who has suffered incredibly unreasonable noisy neighbours)

Oh dear - more stuff has happened. Was putting DC to bed at about 8pm and DS was playing with his cars in his room. He was racing them and they then went into soft toys (this is important). There was no thumping and nothing went into any walls. And definitely not the wall between the houses iyswim. And the rooms are carpeted.
At 8:20 I get a call from XH. Neighbour has called him (appears that last week xh gave neighbour his number) saying it is too loud. I obviously stop ds playing and he gets into bed.
Xh told neighbour he would call him back so he does and xh says he doesn't feel that there was any problem with the noise. Neighbour says he has spoken to the landlord who has told him he could "let the property several times over" with the implication that neighbour at least wants me out and landlord may too.

I am not crying (this is good) but not sure quite what to do next. Letting agents are closed now until next Wednesday although there is an emergency contact number.I am considering calling this tomorrow as I don't want to appear to be trying to conceal anything and if neighbour has got in touch with landlord want to be able to show that I'm not hiding anything iyswim.

DC and I are going away on boxing day - I'm coming back on 29th (can't renember quite when DC are coming back as they'll be seeing XHs family). Letting agents reopen 28th and will definitely call them then if I don't before.

I am not worried I will be thrown out before the contract ends in April (I've paid in advance) but I can see the landlord may not want to let me have another contract from then if he is going to keep getting hassled by the neighbour. And if another house comes up for rent near here I am getting more keen on moving.

Not sure what I'm looking for here - but getting it down does help a bit.

Xh by the way has said sorry to me for having given neighbour his number. Neighbour also told him that xh is "now out of the loop" so hopefully he won't get called again. I am not exactly feeling on top of the world but have some (paid) work to do that I was intending to fo earlier so better get on with it.

Your neighbours are taking the piss, and you should stop worrying unduly.

From what you've described they have no grounds for complaint - even though it's a pain you should start logging all incidents so that you have a record of events. It sounds like their perception of the noise is very different to the level you describe.

You have the right to enjoy your home and shouldn't be tiptoeing around - don't let them bully you out.

Yes, they might have been able to hear something but some people seem to think that there should be absolute silence from an adjoining house, when actually some degree of occasional noise is reasonable and expected. This is the reason why detatched houses cost more!!

TheSecondComing I agree they must have heard something. I find it hard that in the past 18 months they haven't made any complaints (surely we must have made some noise during that time?) and now it is happening a lot more. At the moment I don't feel comfortable with going round to see them which probably makes me a coward though.

I think I would rather know that my contract won't get renewed in April (can hardly be much fun for the landlord getting called by neighbour and so can understand why he wouldn't want me to stay).

Your neighbour needs to buy some earplugs. She is being unreasonable and cannot expect you to creep around in your own home because she chooses to do a job which involves shifts. I used to work nights and it wouldn't have crossed my mind to tell my neighbours to be quiet during the day.

It is the evening though isn't it? Complaints have all been between about 8 and 8:30pm.

And whether or not they are unreasonable (I do feel they are being at least a bit) for me the main thing is whether it annoys the landlord enough to not want to renew the contract.

XH said neighbour sounded almost incoherent (I am presuming with rage rather than anything else) so it must be bothering them a lot. I wish I were less cowardly and could go and talk to them tomorrow, but I am scared tbh.

Anyway enough faffing around on here, time to work (wry )

In my threads I'm on, I could only see as far as "killing them" which I thought sounded a bit extreme

I am nervous though. Got a bit of work done which is good