Renting and problem with neighbours (we are the problem)

[QED]

I live in a semi detached house with two DC aged 7 and 5. Have been here about 18 months. Last week next door neighbour came round about 8:30 - older DC had jumped off my bed a few times and neighbour was cross. DC immediately stopped.

On Tuesday night somewhere between 8 and 8:30 neighbour came round. Older DC had been bouncing a ball in the kitchen; had been doing it for a few minutes. XH was here at the time and he spoke to neighbour as I got upset. XH then went round to neighbour's house and spoke to him. Turned out his wife does shift work (I had not known about this) and was asleep and the ball bouncing had woken her up and naturally she was upset. When XH spoke to him he came up with a list of things including crashing up and down the stairs, ball bouncing, using scooters in the close where we live including it once being left on someone else's drive in the summer, slamming doors, using the Wii (television fine which is good as we don't seem to get a freeview signal any more and so hardly watch any television).

I got a bit more upset when XH told me about the things and worked myself up into being arrested for noise abatement type things or at least being evicted. Have obviously now spoken to the children and we are making a big effort. Ball playing inside house now banned. Some of the things I don't know what we can do about - the front door needs to be slammed a bit to shut it but am trying to do it more quietly. The children don't go up and down stairs that much and the stairs are on the opposite side to the adjoining one IYSWIM but they occasionally jump from the third step up so I am stopping that. Was worried yesterday as I was getting things out of the attic with a pull down ladder and worried this will have disturbed them.

Got a call from the letting agent this morning and on Tuesday after speaking to XH the neighbour called our landlord who naturally got in touch with the letting agent to speak to me. Spoke to her this morning and I think I explained it but am obviously worried that our tenancy won't be renewed (I pay 6 monthly in advance and am paid up until April but worried we could be evicted before that).

Does anyone have experience from either side of a neighbour complaining about a tenant? And are the DC and I being unreasonable in what we do? I agree they sometimes make a bit of noise, but I am not wanting to invite friends round etc in case they are too noisy and on Tuesday night was dreading next week when the children are off school as we might be too loud :(

Sorry for length of that (am regular by the way but using one of my (many) rarely used names).

Can't sleep :(

As I have a 6 month contract i've paid for in advance until April when it finishes, can I be evicted before then? And will I get two months notice in February? I can understand why the landlord would want to get rid of me as having a neighbour getting in touch must be a pain and as he's said he can let it many times over it will presumably be easy to get someone else. Hope they are better than we are anyway.

Still don't know whether to try and get in touch with letting agents - although as neighbour has spoken to landlord he will presumably be in touch with them as well and then they'll speak to me. Am having (probably forlorn) hope that it might make some difference me saying rather than being called about it.

I think you should go on the offensive a bit and make a complaint to the landlord and letting agent about the harrassment you're suffering from these neighbours. Make it quite clear that you absolutely were not making any unreasonable noise and say that it's making it difficult to enjoy living there. If the landlord has any sense he will realise that even if you move out, he could find it hard to hold on to future tenants and will tell the neighbours to back off.

And no, afaik he can't evict you before April.

Totally agree you should go on offensive. In my mind they [are] harassing you - making you live on eggshells and making veiled threats to your XH.

In the nicest possible way, please become more assertive about this - your children deserve to be able to play in their house and your neighbour is being totally unreasonable. Good luck with it all.

I think your neighbour is now harrassing you. Poor you, you sound very stressed and no wonder. I would move if you can because the neighbour is unreasonable and will continue to be so. The landlord won't want you to move though. Keep a record of everything that has happened on both sides - and be factual, don't blame yourself or exaggerate DC noise because you feel bad. Sorry you are having such a hard time.

Put this in AIBU too for some no-holds barred honest opinions! (They will mostly be on your side).

We had neighbours like this. We were tenants and they had that attitude that some homeowners have about tenants.

The reality is that you are not breaking any law and the council would not regard this as noise nuisance. You cannot be expected to creep around just because your neighbour is on an odd shift pattern.

Your LL can terminate your tenancy after April for any reason anyway so nothing you can do about that. I would just say stop your children doing obviously noisy stuff after 8 pm and leave it at that.

Is it possible your neighbour has mental health problems?
I'm thinking this because of the sudden nature of the complaints, 'almost incoherent' on the phone.

I wouldn't think it otherwise but it's odd to suddenly care about it. I don't (personally) think it's unreasonable to not like children-noise at that time of the evening but I can see I'm in the minority. However there is something odd at him hearing noise that isn't in a room adjoining his house (is that what you said?) and then incoherently ranting at your ex husband.

I work odd nights. Daytime noise is something I have to put up with as it's my choice to work these hours.

I agree going on offensive may help.

Not sure what these neighbours want as if you leave what's to say next tenants won't be much louder.

Thank you everyone - children just woke up (no early morning noise here :))

I was feeling especially bad when I last posted - I am ok now but undecided whether to try and speak to letting agent today. If no one minds I won't try AIBU as courage levels a little low . I don't have have details for landlord - it is chance that neighbour does.

Going to start Christmas Eve fun now (quietly of course)

When there are older kids some noise is inevitable! What I would do is write a lovely note to the neighbour saying something like

"We are so sorry to have caused you this problem, I had no idea you worked shifts and have instilled new rules at home re. balls and general noise. The children have been told why they have to make less noise and are very sorry. HAve a wonderful new year!

And then send a copy to the landlord ANd the agent....so they see how nice, polite and reasonable you are. Even though your neighbour sounds fussy. Also tell agent about slammy door.

I think you need to speak to the landlord yourself.

Tell him that your neighbour is harassing you, and that he is coming around regularly, accosting your exhusband, etc. You are not making more noise than any other family, and if the landlord has a family home to let, you fear the neighbour will cause problems who ever he lets the property to.

You can't live your lives in fear of making anoise.
Your neighbours sound a bit unhinged, your kids are only making normal kid noises. I agree some people find kids irritating but they are being even more irritating to you.
Is it too late to pop round a box of biscuits with some ear plugs and a card saying 'sorry for any noise, will try and be quieter next year' It might appease things a bit

When you ring the agents next week see if they have rung the council noise abatement team. If they have then they are serious about the level of noise, if they haven't they are just being tossers and making your christmas fraught.

I hope things calm down soon

Thank you again everyone who has posted. Part of me would like to go down the biscuits and card route but I am scared of being shouted at :(

Am trying hard to not let it spoil Christmas but is hard work. Will definitely stop any repetitive noise after 8 o clock.

I have 6 month contracts which I pay in advance so I think once I have a new contract would be ok for the next 6 months but do see the hassle landlord is getting with me may well mean post April I need to be elsewhere. And if I fund somewhere else in the village I do want to move - just not further really. If it gets really bad I may change my mind though.

My old house was a semi with tenants next door. Sadly they were noisy and it does send you crazy. However, they were the party, lets get pissed and sing along to crap music at 2 am noisy.

If the noise you are making is normal family noise then they are being unreasonable. However, now they are sensitive to it I am afraid that they will find it very hard to ignore. Just from the other point of view (sort of). In the end I moved as I couldn't bare to be listening out for them on tenterhooks at all times.

Some people are just unreasonable and it's their problem - don't accept it as yours. Agree with others that this is now becoming harassment. You've taken steps to reduce noise levels as a good neighbour. Nothing you describe would be taken seriously by the council.

Oh well I've made a massive mess anyway now.

Phoned the emergency number and spoken to letting agent who couldn't understand why I was calling. Shouldnt have called. Have probably put another nail in my coffin by calling rhem. Will get in touch when the office is open again and apologise for bothering them.

Need to feel a bit more christmassy. Will make sure children go to bed early.

Just a theory really, but do you think they have somebody in mind that they want to have living next door to them? If they have just started making complaints could it be that (since they know the LL) they want you out so that maybe the person they know can move in?

Hadn't thought of that but is quite a plausible idea.

QED, don't panic! Just because the neighbour says that the landlord could rent out the house many times over doesn't make it true. I think your landlord would be glad to have a stable tenant who pays up six months advance. I doubt he'd want to set the precedent that the neighbours can veto who he rents the house out to either.

QED I truly hope this didn't ruin your Christmas! I live in a terrace and have just started having some noise related complaints from neighbours too, so I know a bit of how you feel. However I think if you live in a flat, terrace or semi then the reality is that you do have to expect some neighbourly noise.

There has to be some tolerance and consideration on both sides (sounds like this is all coming from you and not from them!). I am wondering if your neighbour has you 'labelled' and now has nothing better to do than bother you. I would talk to him (or may be better, the wife) and explain that you weren't aware of either the shift situation or how much noise travels between the houses, but now you are you are doing your best to be more considerate. I would also point out that you do have children and they need to live their lives in the house too so it's not always going to be quiet. But may be if they can give you an idea of the particularly unacceptable noises you can address some of them (but don't feel you need to reply straight away, just take strength in jotting it all down - it will make him feel you are taking his concerns seriously). I would tell them that it's got to a point where you are even too worried to invite your childrens friends to play which is clearly unfair, so they can see how unreasonable they are being. I think you might need to do this rather than your XH as I think this man knows confrontation is your weakness and is exploiting it.

Please don't let it get to you, it sounds like you really are being a considerate neighbour, but you need to be able to relax in your own home. Remember it is about tolerance and that is the neighbours problem. Your landlord woudl have to be crazy to evict you now or in April - I'm sure he won't.

Thank you AwesomeMrsFox :)

I was very worried on Christmas Eve and am still a bit worried that I have really annoyed the letting agents by calling them then but hoping it won't have been too mych of a bad thing to have done. I am away from home at the moment (left on boxing day and I go back later this week without children). Letting agent was open today - they haven't called my mobile so am hoping they haven't called home either but will find out when I get back I suppose.

Christmas was good and I didn't worry on the day itself. I am thinking about going to speak to neighbours although still v nervous although at least knowing the children wouldn't be there helps a bit.

I am looking at other places abd quite tempted by a detached house . Still really don't understand why the complaints have started 18 months after moving in though.

Your neighbour is fundamentally unreasonable. Don't try to reason with them or placate them - whatever is going on with them IS NOT YOUR FAULT, AND NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

They may have somebody in mind for your house, they may be having mental health issues, you probably won't find out what has prompted this. The fact remains that their behaviour is unacceptable.

It takes months and months to evict a tenant, so even in the very unlikely event that your landlord was to do what your neigbours want, you are safe. Your landlord will want to keep you happy. If this escalates, they will have to disclose it should they wish to sell, which will seriously reduce the value of their house.

Take note of all further incidents of harassment from these neighbours (sadly, I doubt that they will stop). You could find out if your council offers Neighbour Conciliation and Mediation services. If all else fails, a solicitor's letter should put these bullies back in their box.

here is some official guidance on solving disputes with neighbours:
www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndCommunity/WhereYouLive/NoiseNuisanceAndLitter/DG_195585

www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndCommunity/WhereYouLive/NoiseNuisanceAndLitter/DG_195585

Oh poor you it sounds terrible. The first time we viewed our (council) house the next door neighbour came round to tell us to shut up apparently her pfb was having a nap.

It really made me feel shit about moving in tbh. They did complain again about other random noises, and eventually moved out . Our new neighbours I have seen hide nor hair of.

I am very concerned about noise for next door, I don't let my children thunder about upstairs, I stop them when they are being screamy, I generally keep a lid on it.

Can't say I have ever heard even a peep from next door. They seem nice, although they have knocked on the wall when ds2 was going through his I don't want to sleep I want to scream phase. What can you do.