And to the people who owned our current house BEFORE us...

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

...Thank you so much for leaving over 20 hideous wall shelves on the walls of each bedroom which took ages to take down and a tube of polyfilla to rectify. My fingernails will never be the same again.

Thank you for leaving dog hair everywhere even in the oven (which had never been cleaned!)

Allowing one of your sons to paint a Swindon Town football club mural in gloss paint the entire width of a 10ft wall after we had exchanged!

not telling us your dog had peed on the heating vents in the spare room - the whole house smelt like dog pee for our first winter until we cold afford to put in proper heating and the engineer found dog pee puddles in the venting when we had it seviced before moving in.

And finally leaving us a garden full of german shepherd crap that hadn't been cleared up in weeks!

at the painting oops.

for leaving me with a huge amount of crap in my loft, for failing to tell us about the aspetos in the loft and for the many balliffs we had arrive in years we have been here.

We are moving on Friday.

I am now dreading what we will find!

TY for emptying your freezer into bin bags and leaving them outside so when we came to move them they smelt foul and blood poured out when we lifted them.

TY for taking all light bulbs and the batteries from the smoke alarm.

TY for ripping the fitted shelves off the dining room wall leaving 2" diameter holes in the plaster.

They only moved 5 minutes walk round the corner and as soon as they let their cat out she came back so they had to come and collect her a few times and seemed a bit red faced walking into said dining room, why do it then

Thank you for shampooing all the carpets.

Thank you for cleaning the windows (inside & out).

Thank you for cleaning the bathroom and leaving the kitchen spotless.

It meant so much & we're still friends.

It's been mentioned a few times already in this thread,but, Thank you for covering the WHOLE house in woodchip, and then adding 20 years of paint on top of it! Grrrr

Taking every single carpet in the house with you (even though they were skanky and god knows why you wanted to keep them anyway) and leaving two skint, first time buyers clomping around on bare floor boards for 6 months.

Installing random security cameras, alarms and god knows what ever else, so that the house was a mass of wires!
BUT, considering your electrical know-how, never putting more than one single plug socket in any of the rooms?!

Thank you for painting the hall,stairs and landing in bright orange gloss - i know this was to reflect some light back (I think) but jaffa orange?

For the imense wardrobe in the main bedroom, I know its built in and the length of one of the walls but could you not have made it two inches wider so I could fit coat hangers in it?

For a bathroom that has the biggest sink I ever saw, we bathed the baby in it for seven months, the suite was pink, the tiles grey and pink and the carpet blood red.Colourful I suppose but why the plastic folding door as well?And the bath is 3/4 size as well.

The back garden?why not put the conservatory door opens into a knee high wall?I solved this problem with a sledgehammer after I bashed the knees AGAIN!

And finally?
Why have a kitchen door that is a foot lower at the top than the rest of the doors?The oven?can't open it without having to open the sink cupboard as the handle gets in the way?

LizHF I think we got off lightly compared to a lot of the people on this thread! A few sheleves seems to pale in comparison to draining pipe conservatories, carpeted walls and rats under floorboards!

We knew when we moved into the house that there would be a lot of work to do- they had already moved out and it was empty so it was easy to see faults which i think is better than when buying something furnished which can disguise the faults. But we really did think they might have removed at least some of the many, many shelves.

I wish we had noticed though about there only being one socket in every room as we hadn't budgeted to get new ones put in. And also that there was no vent for the tumble dryer so had to pay to get that vented.

I think second viewings on a house are a must as you do notice so much more the second time. Also helps if the owner doesnt take you round (ours did unfortunately) as you can be extra nosey.

For leaving the house completely infested with fleas, we all got bitten to death for days.

For leaving the bolts on the outside of the children's bedroom doors, really useful!

For removing all light fittings and leaving bare wires poking out of the ceiling in all but one room - the hall and we arrived in the dark

7 live wasps nests in the loft, plus all your rubbish you didn't want to take as you were too scared to go up there and get it

For painting in with felt tips, every single panel on every radiator so they looked like rainbows.

For the thick dust that even after emptying the Dyson 5 times for one room, DD had a severe asthma attack and had to go to hospital on a blue light

The rats under the shed

The non existent and burnt out wiring in 2 bedrooms and the bathroom

The windolene colour painted wardrobe doors, they were white - why did you paint them ( badly)?

No keys to three outside doors

Lots lots more!

No wonder you scarpered before we arrived.

White tile floors. WHY WHY WHY

This is hilarious. What a great thread.

Not quite the same but I would like to say to the lady who viewed our house - it is ok for you to arrange the contents of the kitchen cupboards differently to the way we have done.

She peered in each cupboard and said 'aahh, tins in here, super, ahhh cups and glasses, useful, aah fabulous pots and pans in this one marvellous idea' and she wrote it all down

...for leaving us a blocked drainage pipe that flooded the kitchen the first time we used our washing machine.

...for removing a fairly crappy curtain rail and kindly replacing it with an even crappier one that couldn't actually bear the weight of a pair of curtains.

...for the thorough carpeting of cat hair that completely defeated our hoover.

...for locating the sink half-way into a corner unit, which rendered it completely impossible for me to reach the taps at 8 months's pregnant without standing on a box.

On the plus side, we really enjoyed the game of 'guess what's in the freezer'. Oh how we laughed as we chipped a three-year-old packet of pork belly, a teaspoon and several dozen individual peas from the mountain of ice.

When we moved house when i was 11yrs old, the people before us had left several items of underwear in various different spots around the house. Bras behind radiators, knickers in the cupboards - but nastiest of all was a pair of giant grey underpants COVERED in dried on poo, stuffed under the sink in the downstairs toilet. Nice.

Did you need therapy Bluepumpkin?

Thank you for not mentioning the leak in the soil stack, and for covering up the evidence with shelving. According to the plumber it had been cracked during installation (over 30 years ago) and 'repaired' with concrete.

When we moved in it had obviously been leaking for a long time.

Thanks also for not informing DVLA that you had moved...and for getting really annoyed when you popped round for your tax disc renewal notice, which I had sent back to them.

I'm also pleased that Barclaycard, Lloyds TSB, the local loan shark, and numerous other people don't know that you've moved. We like having the bailiff visit us (!)

Thanks ,also, for not mentioning that the central heating was completely shot...gravity feed valve broken and boiler controller non-functioning. Wondered why the boiler was constantly on, on move day.

And finally...thanks a bunch for gloss painting over the awful textured wallpaper in the lounge. I'm really looking forward to stripping this (not!).

• for being too tight to have your post redirected. I didn't want your bailiff's demands or your credit blacklisting!

• for 'up-dating' the bathroom by regrouting the tiles with toothpaste.

• for using freezer bag ties to extend wires on light fittings.

• and MOST OF ALL, for promising you'd be moving out before the school summer holidays, and then telling your solicitor that there was no hurry and finally exchanging contracts in October! My husband hated cycling a round journey of 50 miles a day for 5 weeks; and I deeply resented paying storage costs for all our stuff - we would have lost our chain otherwise.

It was quite disturbing! I found them personally when I was sitting on the toilet inspecting the underneath of the sink, as you do.

My Mum suggested that some man must have pooed himslf, then been too embarrassed to deal with it so stuffed the pants under the sink and forgot about them. I mean, who would do that? How could you forget that you had stuffed pooey pants under the sink?

Maybe he didn't actually live there, was a visiting guest who could never return! And perhaps everyone who lived there wondered for weeks why the smell wouldn't go!

thanks for taking the toilet roll and towel rings fro the bathroom, leaving HUGE great rawl plug holes all over the place. Classy!
Leaving earth all over the carpets from pot plants,
the 5 inch matted layer of cat hair everywhere.
the inside of the kithcne cupboards layered with sticky chipfat, and other crud.

the kitchen drawer full of fag ends....

The bedroom where you had painted round all furniture,instead of moving stuff to paint so therre were great pink bookshelf-sized holed and picture-shapes.

when the house was funished, it looked clean. The couple was all trendy and conservative looking, their mail was full of ski-ing holidays etc. But they were mingers

those used condoms and blood-stained knickers in the master bedroom and all that dog shit buried under 2 feet of snow in winter added to my life experiences in such an expected way!

thank you so much for leaving them (fuck you and i hope you're now divorced).

'fiona macdonald', whoever you are, it was lovely when the police came to the flat to arrest you for not paying council tax. i had to show them all my id and tenancy agreement to prove i wasn't you.

to the people who used to live in this dump, all that red paint and graffiti on the floor. i hope there's a place in paint hell for you in this life and the next.

To the people who owned our first house before us:
thank you for leaving all your binbags of rubbish under your badly constructed raised patio. So that when we re-did the garden, we found not only the inspection hatch for the drains (at last!), but also about 20 black bags full of rubbish. That was an exciting week, expecting to unearth your old cat or some other buried treasure with each new day. You filthy scumbags.

For carefully constructing the most godawful patio on the planet, complete with the worst grouting job imaginable.

But also thanks for being a bit peculiar and a PITA of a neighbour. The neighbours quite like us in comparison!

thank you for leaving us with a busted boiler and then having the cheek to come round to collect the post you were too tight to get redirected and claim it had been serviced annually (who by, the cat next door?)
-for leaving us with an attic full of crap
-with one plug per room, but strangely, 2 lights per room, the electrician said the wiring was last done in the 70s
-a fitted kitchen with no room for a normal sized fridge/freezer

• taking the little hooks with which you attach the curtains to the track as you couldn't be bothered to take them down properly so we had to get new tracks fitted

think there seem to be a lot of people who are too tight, lazy or selfish to get stuff done properly judging by the examples we've all seen!

From our 1st flat - Thanks for painting an olive green 'feature wall' in the bedroom, with a grease patch just above where your bed was where your greasy hair rubbed on the wall.

Thanks for leaving a bathroom sink blocked with your hair. MMMM.

Thanks for tiling up the side of the bath so you couldn't access the taps. And the shower that only ran boiling. And the bathroom extractor fan that didn't work. And lying about the length of the lease.

Why did you paint ALL the woodwork in a lovely Edwardian house jade green?

Why were the picture rails in the same house painted bright yellow?

Why was the bathroom papered in grey textured wallpaper, bright pink vomit swirl carpet with an avocado quite.

Were you fucking blind?